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Mother_Without_Child

February 11th, 2007

I am pro-choice, but when my friend told me she was going to have abortion. My first reaction was to ask her why. Her reason was not because she did not want anymore children or because she didn't want to raise another child by herself. No it was because her parents told her they would not have anything to do with her if she didn't have it done. I told after she has the abortion done she would have to look herself in the face. She told me was going to get it done. I gave her a big hug and made sure she now what was going to happen to her during the whole thing and wised her luck. When she came back form the hospital she was so angry Mad

and she told hated me for not stopping her. Not like I could make that choice for her. Me and her have not talk since.

I just need to get this out of my head.
Thanks from
mother_without_child
p.S if you like to vent with me or add comments please do.

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Tylanas

replied February 11th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

I can understand the desire to ask "why"? It's an obvious question in anyone's mind... What I don't understand is your friend's reaction; because even after giving your opinion on the matter, which was quite against her desicion, you gave her your support. She did it on her own. She was probably just frustrated and upset; as one can easily expect a young woman to be in this situation - and needed to vent, to "blame" someone besides herself, and that happened to be you.

Please, try to get in contact with her; I think she probably needs a good friend at this time in her life. You are a good friend Smile

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Sunflower_pie81

replied February 11th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Love, if someone has their minds made up about having an abortion you cannot really 'talk them out of it.' in the situation that she was in, being pushed out of her family, you most likely couldnt' have talked her out if it. Sadly, she realized after it was done, her parents most likely woudn't have abandon her and she wished she could take it back. I know I did.

I beg you to try to talk to her and let you know that you are there because this is a very hard time for her to go thru alone. She is most likely going thru it alone and needs someone there by her side. You were an understanding friend, wether you agreed or not, so now go be by her and show her the support you showed hre in the beginning.

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Mother_Without_Child

replied February 12th, 2007

Thank you guys I will go and see how she is doing sometime this week. "as one can easily expect a young woman to be in this situation" she is not a young woman she is 34 years old. I just dont know what to say to her. I know she is not by herself the babys father is now back in the picture and she has a 9 year old son. How asked her "when the baby is 16 and ask why you gave it away what are you going to say to them" and she will not explain what she did to him... And also told the father she was going to miscarry and the doctor said it would be better for her to have a abortion done. Total bs.

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Tylanas

replied February 13th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

mother_without_child wrote:

thank you guys I will go and see how she is doing sometime this week. "as one can easily expect a young woman to be in this situation" she is not a young woman she is 34 years old. I just dont know what to say to her. I know she is not by herself the babys father is now back in the picture and she has a 9 year old son. How asked her "when the baby is 16 and ask why you gave it away what are you going to say to them" and she will not explain what she did to him... And also told the father she was going to miscarry and the doctor said it would be better for her to have a abortion done. Total bs.

i don't think it's bs... And it is entirely up to her to tell her son when he's old enough )or anyone else for that matter)! He doesn't have a "right" to know; this was a private matter and a privte desicion that his mother made, it's none of his business, or anyone else's. No one has a "right" to know why she did it; it was her choice. My mother told me last year (i'm 22) about her abortion that she'd had in college, and I have nothing but respect for her in regards to the desicion.

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	Tags: abortion debate, angry, add, head, after abortion, angry parents, add children, angry child, back talk, add child

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