Maybe it is still post partum I dunno, I just feel depressed and feel like crying and I really dont know why, I was fine earlier. Me and my friend were supposed to havea girls night but I just dont feel like doing anything, jason was asking how long post partum depression lasts, I guess hoping one day I snap out of it and act normal. Then iwas just sitting on the couch and hes like are u still in that depressed mood, I asked why first then his answer was because its bringing me the f**k down. So I didnt bother answerin him, then evidently im annoying him by just staring at the wall. Or at nothing in particular. He asked if I needed to go to the drs, didnt bother answering that either because its not like I can get to the dr, we only have one car , he hasnt even filled out the stuff for the insurance claim on my car at all, I started it but he has to do the rest I dunno all the info. I dont even know that hes gonna be getting off to take the kids to get there shots tuesday. So me tryin to get an appt would be pointless. I dont know if I will be able to go to my post partum checkup either, I gave him the dates last week so he could get em off and he hasnt yet. When ive been to the drs for colds and stuff they have a paper u fill out asking previous medical history etc. I check the box that says ive suffered from depresion in the past. They have one that askes have u felt hopeless in the past 2 weeks, checked yes. The drs never bother reading those I guess cuz they never asked about it, but I dont feel like talking to the stupid military drs on base nor do I wanna see a therapist but there only problem solver is to shove meds down your throat. I just I dunno it suckes being depressed cuz I hate feeling like this but then it also seems to annoy jason. But ugh he doesnt even help out at all, even on the weekends he doesnt, he goes to bed at 9 during the week and 10 on the weekend. So im stuck till 3am with a screaming baby then gotta beup early with joseph while hes still in bed. Then he acts like I shouldnt be tired, hes like what are you tired or something , duh I dont even go in the room until jordynnes asleep so I dont bother him,. I asked him twice to give joseph a bath before he went to bed cuz he got dinner in his hair, well I ended up giving joseph a bath and well he watched jordynne. But it seems like he gets annoyed when she cries so im hesitant to leave him with her when shes cranky and stuff. So pretty much depresed and no one to talk to . No help whatsoever with the kids . Everything just makes it that much more worse and I hate it.