Honey, you need to prepare yourself to raise that child alone. There's no guarantee that he'll stay with you, especially if he doesn't respect his pregnant girlfriend enough to stop flirting with an ex and having pseudo phone-texting sex. That's disgusting and disrespectful. If you won't stand up for yourself, he won't change. It's obvious that he's not settling into his father-to-be role very well just yet. He might not ever settle into it. Boys are wired differently than us.

I'm not telling you to leave him, or that he'll leave you. I'm just saying, prepare yourself. Don't stay with him just because you have a baby on the way. You're worth more than that, and your child would be better off without some friend making his/her mother miserable all the time.

The thing is, he just started this about a week ago. I dont know why. I told him he needs to stop texting and be respectful to me and become responsible for your baby. He doesnt listen. My parents want me to move out and live with them and say buhbye to my fiance. They think its disqusting also. But should I honestly be worried about texting? Neither of them drive or have a license and theyre 4 hours apart. He said hes not going to have sex with her, he just likes talking about it in the texts

Umm, cheating is cheating is cheating in my book. He's not being faithful to you in mind and spirit. The fact that he can't get to her physically is irrelevent.

I've been with my husband for almost 9 years now (married for almost 3). I love him more than I ever thought possible. If he ever pulled that crap on me, .I'd be gone in a flash.

He either honors you or he doesn't. He either respects you or he doesn't. What you decide to put up with is on you. You have to draw the line somewhere and decide for yourself what is, and is not, acceptable.

Sweetie, don't tell me you are with a man who does not have his license!

Always, always, always make sure that the man has more things than you have when you start a relationship with him (for future reference, that is).

Always 'marry' up. It makes things easier in the long run.

Also for love. But love a man who has more money than your dad. That makes it way easier.

Ok, well you give great advice. I always love what you have to say when I post. Anyways, hes sleeping right now and what I want to do is write him a letter and let him read it tomorrow while hes in the car going to work. Can you please give me ideas on what to say? I want to write him something to where hes gunna actually read it and understand but I cant do that. Can you help me, please? I really want this to stop.

You don't want my help there. I'm confrontational. Any note from me would say ".I'm at my parents. When you're done cybering your friend, call me."

i think you should sit him down and talk to him. There's no guarantee he'd read the whole letter. If he's anything like the boys I used to date, he'll read maybe a third of it and then crumble it up. Tell him, to his face, what is and is not acceptable and stick to it. If you tell him you'll leave if he does it again, then be prepared to do it. Don't make promises you don't intend to keep.

The only thing I have a problem with when I talk to him face-face, is I think of what im going to say before and then when it comes down to it, I forget. I have soo much on my mind right now that I want to talk about but tomorrow when we actually talk about it, I wont get it all out. And I really hope he listens to me

Then write it down for yourself. Make a list of everything you don't like, and print it out. Corny? Maybe. But if it helps, then hey.

And if he won't listen to you, maybe it's time to take your parents up on their offer. Why would you stay with someone who doesn't listen to you? Your self respect should outweigh your love for another person.

excellent advice.

I agree totally with ayamiyaki! She has some great advice!! Welldone!

I really hope the talk goes well!! As much as we would love to, we cant change someone else, they have to want to change. If he doesnt listen to you, it might be better for your stress levels and health to go back to your parents and it will hopefully be enough of a wake up call for him to realise that he needs to stand up and be a man!

All the best!!

You deserve better. Even if he never meets up with her the fact that he is in a relationship with you and is texting her and they are saying sexual things to each other is not on. You need to be with someone who will respect you and your baby but you need to respect yourself fisrt and kick him to the curb. Take no excuses from him he sounds like a pig he says he wants to be with you yet he talks to other girls about sexual things and its making you feel uncomfortable esp since you're pregnant.
Pig, pig, pig.

Hey how are you guys doing? I don’t mean to be noisy or anything but I just had some advices I wanted to tell the person that wrote this post I had a friend that was dealing with this same issue . I just want to tell you stand up for your self and be a strong women tell him that you had enough and start (par ten me) taking sex away from him like if he gets close tell him to go and finish sex talking to his friend. I don’t want to tell you anything and make your relationship bad or anything but guys are living on sex they love sex .He will start worshiping you if you take away his sex privilege. Stand up for your self and trying to explain to him about thing to much like crying in front of him makes you week don’t be week in front of him. And don’t let him know that you are in need of him make him think that he is in need of you . Par ten me once again, how old is he if you don’t mind me asking and he is acting like this these acts are like for guys 16and 18 horny guys lol.
Give him a responsibility and try to act sexy in front of him and then when he wants it really bad say no watch what will happen to him! But don’t over do this try it like 2or 3 times. Aya girl you gave some good advice. Good luck oh and hay try to be close to his friends or maybe try to joke around with his friend or a guy friend of yours. Try to make him jealous. Once again good luck I can feel what your going throw.

*sarah*

I take issue with most of sara**'s advice.



.I don't believe in playing games with people. You're worth more than sex, and you shouldn't make him want to stop just because he isn't getting sex. How insulting. He should stop because he loves you and values you, not because he's not getting sex from you anymore. You're not a piece of meat, and he could easily find sex somewhere else.



strong relationships are based on more than just sex. If he's only in it for the sex, then he'll figure out that it's much easier to find a trampy girl to get it on with than to stay in a relationship with someone who's bickering at him to stop doing what he wants to do. Pulling sex away from him won't make him worship her. And she shouldn't have to use her body as a bargaining chip. That's insulting, disgusting, and degrading.



crying is not a sign of weakness. Letting someone know you love them and that they mean a lot to you is not weakness. But letting someone use you is weakness.



*sigh* please don't try to work a mindgame on him with your body. Have more self respect than that.



and don't do this either. He's hurting you by flirting with some other girl. This is wrong. You doing it back to him is just as wrong. And it would make you a hypocrite. Your unborn child deserves better. Be the classy one and don't resort to stuff like that.

very well said!! I totally agree!! By doing the above, it will show him how you wont stand for it anymore and you want to be respected! Sorry girl but if he cant respect you, you need to find someone that can!! I wish you the best of luck!

Well, everything is fine now. I told him ill leave him if he writes one more sexual thing to her again. If he had a heart and loves me and wants to be w/me than hed stop. He did. Now if he does it again, byeeeee so I just wanted everyone to know everything is fine now.

Thats great news!! Congratulations on making a stand and please stick to it or it wont work!!

Congratulations!!!

[quote="ayamiyaki"]i take issue with most of sara**'s advice.


Sweety you don't have to take any advice from me maybe I see it in a different way then you. I am not giving advice for you and I am not telling her to disrespect her body . I think if you don't agree with someones post you can just say I don't agree you don't have to be all mean about it. Theres no need for you to quote everything I say. Dis agree or agree I really don't care but I see things different then you. And sometimes write does not explain everything theirs always something missing . I am also not telling you that I don't agree with you but I did'nt see the things that were followed and the disatvateges of my post or idea how ever you want to say it . You know your not always going to find people that agree with you its just sometimes people miss out on somethings .



And as for the person that wrote this post good luck and i'm really happy that everythings running ok for you sweety

I was pointing out the flaws in your advice before she decided to try it. I was not "mean" about it. I was honest. And I quoted different parts of your post to explain why I didn't agree with that particular piece.

I've been in a relationship for almost nine years. The reason we've been together so long is because we're learned how to communicate. If I can show others how to communicate, the chances their relationships will last are greater.

Your advice centered around her using her body to keep her man. I said she's worth more than that. If that angers you off, so be it. There are better ways to make a relationship work than using sex and jealousy. If you have to resort to those, your relationship is already doomed.

I'm going to side with .Laura here. Not only was her advice sound, but she provided clear and logical reasons for taking offense to .Sara's.
.Laura is a respected and established member here and bit(hing to/about her (or anyone else for that matter!) isn't going to make you any friends.