U answerd your own question.

You are having these thoughts becase your life is stressfull.

If your situational stress wasnt as hard..Youd have more time to enjoy life and you wouldnt spend so much time in your head. These are basic rules especially for someone with depression/bipolar.

Also the though of death being a release of all this pressure and pain isint correct. First we dont know what happens after death..For all we know everyone could go to some sort of hell lol.

I know how you feel though that thought of instant release...Just like flipping a switch. But its not true...The best and most satisfying way to get the feeling of happyness and relaxation is to earn it...Fight for it.

Get your feet on the ground, sort out the things that are making you so stressed. Speak with a psychologist if you arnt already...And if you dont really find any release in talking to that psycholosits find a new one.

Many people dont undersatnd how awsome it is to find a psychologist that you can call a best friend...It takes time and trial and error which is stressfull on its own but in the end its amazing.

Also I wouldnt call them strange thoughts...We all have them from time to time.

Ill share one of my fantasies.

I used to wish that I could jump off a building with a camera. As I was falling to my death I woudl take pictures of mysefl to show the world how relaxed and at peace I was before I died. Hopefully the camera would still hold its film afterwards.

Then I got to thinking....Yea I would be peacefull...But then my body would be very unpleasing splaterd all over the pavement...I dont wana die like that.

Just a though ^_^

stay up and post post post on here at your heats content...There are many great people on these forums.