My name is christopher. I'm 30 years old. I have been married for 8 years now to a very loving and supportive wife.
About 2 years ago I attempted suicide. I tried to cut my self, and failing in that I burned my self several times with a lighter. I ended up in the hospital for a little over two weeks, maybe longer, before I signed myself out ama. I saw a pyschiatrist for a while and attended therapy, as well as got medication. The diagnosis I was given was "major depression", tho several doctors thought I could possibly be bipolar. Well after a couple months of help, meds and therapy, I stated feeling better, and stopped taking the meds and stopped going to therapy.
Last week, after months and months of feeling depressed, I actually began to think of ways to die, and how dying would make my life so much better. In a breif moment of clarity, I called my wife and told her I needed help. The next day I saw a new psychiatrist, and a social worker, and a therapist. After several hours of questions, interragations, exams and tears, I was told that I have bipolar ii disorder as well as obssessive-compulsive personality disorder (not the same thing as ocd). Im back on medication, but truth be told, I still hurt very much inside. I have moments where all I want to do is cry. I know I have only been back on meds for a couple days, but...I just want to be normal. I just want to stop hurting. Thats why I came here.
Thanks for listening.
~ c
