Given the symptoms you describe (“two pimples on the shaft of my penis”, “groin swell”, “lesions at the base around the scrotum”, “red dot under my lip”)... you could be experiencing an infection. The infection doesn’t seem likely to be either HIV nor syphilis. The HIV-infection is transmitted via unprotected sexual contact but does not manifest with local genital lesions.
Syphilis is sexually transmitted disease. In its first stage, syphilis manifests with local skin lesions in the genital area but not with pimples or dots. Further, syphilis manifests with ulcers and swelling of the lymph nodes in the groin region.
You can consult a dermatovenerologist for a precise diagnosis and treatment.
You'll need to provide details about your wife's blood work abnormalities and the types of additional tests that have been administered in order for a doctor to help you further.
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