I am very angry and tired my deal in life
is:i was born hyperactive and there was
not alot known about it at the time so I
was just an attention seeking spoilt
brat.I got diagnosed with depression at
17.I have had 3 violent
relationships,being raped by an ex,cheated
on and given chlamydia which went
undiagnosed and became pelvic inflammatory
disease and led to an ectopic and did
enough damage to make me need ivf if I
ever want children.I lost my dad to cancer
nearly two years ago also.I have seen
counsellors but they don't seem to be able
to help me.My doctor referred me to a
psychotherapist who was sarcastic when I
said I want the mental pain to go away.He
actually said I was using my infertility
as an excuse.It has made me think that
maybe I am too mentally damaged.I wanted
to try a hypnotist as he can get in my
head and sort it out but my doctor
recommended I dont.How else am I supposed
to get rid of this rubbish that has been
building up since I was born?Any ideas
will be welcomed,thank you.
|
manfat
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2004 Posts: 28
Hi! I Am New Also Posted: 02-09-04 10:27am
Don't give up on a psychologist/councellor
as they are not all bad, you would
probably be better off with a female from
the sound of it, but they might not be
able to understand it all fully. You
could also try "group" sessions where
support and advice can come from people
who have 1st hand experience, I personally
would suggest going to different ones
relating to the different areas you feel
you need help in. It might be difficult,
but you shouldn't hold anything back,
which ever way you try.
Don't give up, keep an open mind and try
new people if the first ones don't work.
Pm me also if you wanna chat!
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qt3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 264
Re: Hello I Am New. Posted: 02-10-04 00:35am
wilsam
wrote:
i am very angry and tired my
deal in life is:i was born hyperactive and
there was not alot known about it at the
time so I was just an attention seeking
spoilt brat.I got diagnosed with
depression at 17.I have had 3 violent
relationships,being raped by an ex,cheated
on and given chlamydia which went
undiagnosed and became pelvic inflammatory
disease and led to an ectopic and did
enough damage to make me need ivf if I
ever want children.I lost my dad to cancer
nearly two years ago also.I have seen
counsellors but they don't seem to be able
to help me.My doctor referred me to a
psychotherapist who was sarcastic when I
said I want the mental pain to go away.He
actually said I was using my infertility
as an excuse.It has made me think that
maybe I am too mentally damaged.I wanted
to try a hypnotist as he can get in my
head and sort it out but my doctor
recommended I dont.How else am I supposed
to get rid of this rubbish that has been
building up since I was born?Any ideas
will be welcomed,thank
you.
manfat gave you some very good advice. I
would just add that you may want to look
into cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt).
It was the answer for me. I was on meds
for many years and in and out of
therapists offices before I found cbt and
it cured me and got me off meds in a
remarkably short period of time. Cbt is
not like other talk therapy. A good cbt
therapist does not care much about your
past or why you think you feel the way you
do etc. A good cbt therapist knows they
cannot change what's already happened to
you but they can help you change how you
deal with what happens in your life from
here on out. It's all about using the
tools to learn to think more clearly and
accurately about things and once you do
your anxiety, panic and depression will
miraculously begin to lift before your
eyes. My favorite starter book on cbt is
"been there, done that? Do this! By sam
obitz (www.Tao3.Com) based on what I have
seen with the people I know who used cbt
the more dedicated you are to the tools
the faster and deeper the recovery
regardless of how bad their anxiety was
when they got started. It was inspiring
to see the people that dove in head first
and how fast they started seeing results
to those of us like me that were more
skeptical and less dedicated to using the
tools in the beginning. Like anything in
life the more you put in the more you get
out of cbt. That's why I think group
settings can be especially effective with
cbt because you can see the people that
are working the hardest to get well making
the most progress and it becomes
infectious.
Hope this is helpful :p
q
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wilsam
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2004 Posts: 32 Location: England
Very Helpful. Posted: 02-10-04 02:44am
Thank you for the advice I will see whats
available in my area.There are some things
I am too ashamed to talk about.My mind
just seems so full that it makes me
mentally tired and emotional and feel its
too painful in and too painful letting it
out.I hate myself for what I have allowed
happen to me.I think my partner has had
enough of it but not many people have this
many bad experiences and are able to come
out the other end unscathed.I am not
saying I should be like this but it don't
surprise me either.I am 31 so I could have
another 40 years of collecting bad
experiences.I need to get off this
conveyer belt and look for solutions to
this mess.I will let you know what I do
and how I get on.Need to build courage
first.Thanks again.
|
manfat
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2004 Posts: 28
Ashamed??? Hate Youreself??? Posted: 02-11-04 10:21am
You should never feel ashamed of things
that have happened in the past, especially
those that are beyond your control!
Things happen that we cant stop and you
have to accept that and stop blaming
yourself.
Counsellors/ etc are trained to deal with
everything you can throw at them and to
help you deal with it too. You are not
mentally damaged you are trying to deal
with your experiences, and as far as I can
tell the only thing "wrong" with you is
the fact that you keep blaming yourself.
Granted, I don't know your details, but
even I know that nobody asks for, or
deserves, what you have been through- not
even you-
remember that only you can get yourself
off that conveyer belt, but help is out
there
|
wilsam
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2004 Posts: 32 Location: England
Blamed And Ashamed. Posted: 02-11-04 10:58am
I was made to feel like an annoyance and I
was due to my hyperactivity.I am a very
loving person and have always needed to
feel loved.My family found it hard because
unknown to them I was hyperactive.I have
gone through my life looking for someone
to love me no matter what.That's why I
have suffered physical,sexual and mental
abuse.I feel like I am being punished.It
hurts that my insides were left to rot
causing my infertility just when I find a
decent man who loves me no matter what.Two
years ago this april my dad passed away,he
had prostrate cancer he left a lump he
found for a year so it was too late.Don't
worry I will get there.I have no choice
but to keep going for the sake of my
partner.Thank you for the support.
|
manfat
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2004 Posts: 28
Keep It Up! Posted: 02-11-04 11:33am
I think your attitude is great and the
love you have found is brilliant! :d
remember to keep going for yourself also.
You can achieve anything you want if you
try
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wilsam
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2004 Posts: 32 Location: England
Attitude Posted: 02-11-04 12:27pm
Thank you.I am glad I have been through
what I have in a way as I am a
stronger,wiser person and i'm still
youngish.Remember what don't kill you only
makes you stronger,we will live to fight
another day.It must be the
medication.V.Nice talking to you by the
way.
|
qt3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 264
Re: Attitude Posted: 02-12-04 13:37pm
wilsam
wrote:
thank you.I am glad I have
been through what I have in a way as I am
a stronger,wiser person and i'm still
youngish.Remember what don't kill you only
makes you stronger,we will live to fight
another day.It must be the
medication.V.Nice talking to you by the
way.
great posts again manfat...
Wilsam I love your attitude too. You will
make it :d I hope you are able to find
some cbt resources in your area as when
you mentioned feeling like an annoyance
that is exactly what the author of the
book I referenced mentioned feeling like
in his book and cbt was the answer for him
too. Good luck and keep us postred on
your progress
