Medical Questions > Relationships > Dating Forum

Help ... Please Please Please....

Ok .. Here is my situation ... I broke up with a guy that I have been living with since 2000... He didnt want to marry me, and in 4 years only took me to dinner 3 times... Blah blah ,you all know the deal. So ... I move back to my hometown and start seeing a guy that I had dated back in high school ( not really dated... But we were really good friends...Really good friends ) .. Anyway... This guy treats me like a total princess.. Takes me out all the time and is totally sweet to me..
Well.. So I start missing the first guy and so I went to see him .... I dont even know why... Cause things are the same .. He doesnt want to do anything except smoke and watch tv, but I still have some degree of feelings for him .. Is this normal ? I feel like im in love with two men. ... I really want to be with the new guy.. But will the feelings for the old guy ever go away ?????? I just dont want to end up loosing the new guy for trying to work things out with the old one... ( oh.. This is the 3rd time that we have broken it off.. Um by the way...
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replied February 13th, 2004
Dating
I think that you see the first guy as a bit of a challenge and the second guy is too nice.I had the same problem and went with the nice guy and I still thought of him but after a while he meant nothing to me.Stick with the guy who treats you best.Good luck.
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replied February 13th, 2004
Melibell
I think it's normal to still have some feelings over this guy, you were with him for 4 years and not to mention living with him. This is kind of a personal question, but are you still sleeping with the old guy? I dated a guy for about 3 years, we broke up but we still would mess around every once in awhile. I still felt like I was in love with this loser. And then a friend told me that as long as I kept sleeping with him, I would never get over him. I guess it's more of an emotional thing for us as to a physical thing for guys. Also it takes time. You two were with each other for awhile, so it will probably take awhile to get over him. Wether you stay with the old or go with the new, make sure your being treated the way you deserve.
Good luck
shannon
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replied April 25th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
So you are bored by the guy who treats you well, and want the guy who treats you badly? This is a classic self-esteem problem. Subconsciously we are attracted to people who treat us the way we feel we deserve. Many many many women ends up with men who are jerks, and a lot of the time they somehow *need* to be treated badly. It can also makes you feel like you are in control, because someone who is too keen can make you feel trapped.

Have a think about what you want from a relationship and from your life. And from yourself. What do you get from each of these men? Quite possibly, neither is right for you. You need to understand yourself first.
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