I really need some advice. I started dating this wonderful man several months ago. He is socially active, motivated for achieving greater things in his future, artistic, creative, and giving. A few weeks into our courtship he confided in me his “real” situation. Around 10 years ago he started dating someone who developed schizophrenia. They “ended” the physical relationship sometime later. However, this person still lives with the man I am dating. In fact, this person sleeps in the same bed, is supported both financially and emotionally almost 100% by my friend. But he works, drives, functions in public areas, etc. He is successfully medicated. My friend is the only caregiver, outside of this person’s brother who is also schizophrenic. I feel like the “other woman.” I have never dealt with schizophrenia before, and have never been with someone who is the primary caregiver for a schizophrenic. I am not sure how to process some of the issues I feel. I am not sure if there can be a future with me and this person because he hasn’t even let me meet the person yet (and the person doesn’t want to meet me). It seems he has made a life-long commitment to this other man, and this other person will always be the priority. I know he is burnt out. He feels that trying to make any changes to the current status quo will be like “kicking the other person to the curb” (including having the guy sleep in his own bed or calling me boyfriend). He has not had a healthy, loving relationship in 10 years. I am being affected by schizophrenia and I don’t even know the man who has it. What am I missing? What are the boundaries I should be red-flagging (if not to him, then to myself?). How can I help him? Where does patience take a back seat to my own wishes/needs in this relationship? How long is too long?