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Q: One Year Anniversary...
asked by: nmulder33 on February 1st, 2007
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I will try to make this story short but so that everyone understands my story.
Last year in march I met a 14 year old boy named greg that was a friend of my daughters. The moment I saw this child I knew he resembled someone I had lost a long time ago. Within days I became very obsessed with this child and wanted this child in my life. I had dreams that I was his mom and that we did things together. I just wanted to talk to him, hug him just like I hug my daughter and do things with him that all moms are doing with their children. It became so extreme that I checked on greg daily to make he was okay. To make the matter worse I started a friendship with his mom and explained what the reason was of my closeness to her son. She seemed to understand but I soon learned that she actually pulled him away from me. Instead of explaining to him what had happend and tell him not to worry, she told him all kinds of stories that were so far fetched that even my closes friends were upset about it.
I was so depressed after she took her son away from me that I overdoses on ambien. It was so hard for me to let greg go, but I just didnt' have a choice. Greg recently moved away and I feel like this is all my fault. I did talk to his mom for the last time before they left and she assured me it had nothing to do with me but because of a better job.
I feel like the closer I get to march again, the more anxious I get. I miss greg so terrible but it is just not worthed to look for him. My heart hurts because I not only lost one loved one but two. Although greg is still alive I feel like he died years ago.
I just wanted to tell you all this story because it is amazing what the brain can do to people. It makes you do things that you never thought you would do.
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Color of Paper
replied on February 2nd, 2007
Experienced User
Wow very interesting. Thank you for the post, im sure it will help alot out with missing a loved one.


The brain is werid and can force very odd emotions on us but in the end we need to be in control of our lifes.


Remeber march is only 31 days...That goes by really fast if you keep busy* ^_^
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adnor
replied on February 2nd, 2007
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Pardon my candor but what was the fixation or obsession to this boy? Frankly if it were my son and another mother told me how much she loved him and check in on him all the time, it would make me nervous as well.
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nmulder33
replied on February 2nd, 2007
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My heart hurts because I not only lost one loved one but two.

Does this explain enough?? On the day I met greg, I lost a loved one 20 years ago.
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Color of Paper
replied on February 2nd, 2007
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When people say they have lost a loved one I find it interesting that they forget where this person is. No one knows what happens after death, for all we know they could be super happy somewhere living the life they alwasy wanted.

For me reality is a pain. Emotions are even harder to deal with...For all I know when i'm dead all this will be figured out by the big monster in the sky. Greg isint your son, you may have a strong emotional attachment for him but his parrents are the ones that love him. He is there blood, there life.

If you are just looking for something to fill a spot in your heart...Remeber it doesnt have to be the same you lost...It can be something/someone completely new and different.

Stay up and try not to stress yourself over this. ^_^
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nmulder33
replied on February 2nd, 2007
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Thank you so much for those wonderful words. Yes, I guess you really explained it well with saying it does not have to be greg that fills the empty spot in my heart. I have found after this whole ordeal that my daughter is the one that is important in my life. I still miss greg but I try to focuse of what is mine and that is my wonderful daughter. Sometimes it just feels good to write about how I feel and it helps if others can point me out what reality is.
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Color of Paper
replied on February 2nd, 2007
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Nmulder...This is awsome. I'm so glad your able to sort things out...We all know its hard. And forever fill free to shot anything on these forums....We are all here for u ^_^
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