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Should You Wait?

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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!
Should You Wait?
Posted: 08-25-03 16:55pm

After being in here, reading all these questions and seeing how many of you are 18 and younger I have a few things to say. You are all so worried about being pregnant, and why is your period late, then you add that you are 16 or 13 or 14. Why is it so hard to use a condom or get on the pill? If you feel you forget the pill get the shot, the patch or any alternative to not getting pregnant. If you get all worried about being late or cant have a baby then you are not responsible enough to have sex. Sex should be a great memory in life with someone you love, and you should be old enough to enjoy it. It shouldnt be straight from the playground to the bedroom! There are many expenses physically and emotionally to having a baby! Imagine yourself with a baby, think of all the crying in the middle of the night then you have to make a bottle and change a diaper and waste 30 minutes of sleep to get your baby to bed. Then go back to sleep and 2 hours later you hear the crying again and have to get another bottle. Imagine this straight for another 2 years. Then you see girls going to the malls and parties and doing all these fun things but you cannot go because your baby is sick and you had to spend all your money on medicine and more diapers. You have no babysitter and no one to help you. Then imagine your boyfriend whom you had sex with say "this is too much for me and its too soon. Im a kid" and he leaves you as quick as you gave it up. He used you. You both were irresponsible, but now you are the one to pay for it. Please hold off on sex. And if you dont want to, please buy a few condoms. Do it for yourself.
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lyingdownalone

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 40
Location: Canada
Hey..
Posted: 08-25-03 17:41pm

I would just like to comment on the birth control methods. Hun, im 17 and pregnant and I was on bc during that time. I never forgot to take my pill. Things happen and birth control isn't 100% garuntee that you wont get pregnant. Dont judge us before you get to know us..Not all of us have unprotected sex Exclamation


**lying down alone**
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 08-25-03 18:54pm

No dear, if you read on in the topics, most of the teens there had not used any protection and are scared because they are 15 and think they might be pregnant. Im not judging you because as I said, my sister was 16 and got pregnant. But some teens are excited about it when they are too young to realize the struggles of it. Ive seen it wih my sister and its the hardest thing to go through with all the bills. Maybe you should re-read what I put. Good luck to you. Im sorry you had birth control and now your pregnant. Somethings happen for a reason. But isnt your screen name alone or something? Is that how you feel? Well thats how alot of girls feel once they realize how they are sol by themselves because they guy who wanted them to have sex at 14 left them. Sorry if you felt judged.
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HongKongChick

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 222
Location: Oklahoma

Posted: 08-25-03 23:19pm

I agree with nikki of what she said. It's true that alot of young teens are confused between love and lust, sex and responsibility!

But one thing is that they did not come here before they already made a mistake. They might be under peer pressure, attracted by the media on how sex is such a romantic thing, and all other factors.

The point here is that I sure do not want to see these girls who have posted problems here, post another one, then another one.

I am a true believer that humans make mistakes, we tend to not think before we take actions and then it's too late. It's life, it's the way humans learn, by making mistakes. But one that that my mother taught me is that making the same mistakes twice is no body's fault but yours.

I truly think (and being optimistic) that most of these young teens here will learn from their first mistakes and not to make it again.

One more thing: I do not like to judge, I am only here to help. As I am sure these girls already are judgin themselves or have others judging them, and ehealthforum.Com is a place to help, where these girls can fine peace and information.
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Misty

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 52
Location: Nova Scotia

Posted: 08-26-03 08:20am

You should read more of these messages then because a lot of us did use protection it don't always work. Maybe you should talk to some of us to get our full stories before you judge us we have hard lives just like anyone else and we make mistakes we're only human but almost none of us regret those mistakes after we have a beautiful baby in our arms. ~misty
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lyingdownalone

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 40
Location: Canada
Hmmph..
Posted: 08-26-03 11:32am

nikki_caro wrote:
but isnt your screen name alone or something? Is that how you feel? Well thats how alot of girls feel once they realize how they are sol by themselves because they guy who wanted them to have sex at 14 left them. Sorry if you felt judged.


my screen name "lyingdownalone" wasnt about the baby or about the guy who left, it was about my family turning me down and lending me no support when I needed it most.

But anyways, I appreciate your opinions, it cant hurt to hear what everyone thinks. Smile bye

**lyingdownalone**
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pookers1722

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Aug 2003
Posts: 5

Posted: 08-27-03 16:47pm

I think that ur way to judgemental some of these kids just need someone to talk to and ur not very understanding ! Look yeah ok they are young and they might think they are prego or are but what gives u the right to judge them? And I am so sick of hearing the babbys haveing babys caca! Also the playground thing ! Get real ! People make mastakes ! Nobodys perfect and sorry for ur luck ur not eaither! U act like ur so perfect! Ok so ur goin to be married befor u have kids well maby some people want to raise there babys on there own they dont need ur judgements! U always seem to look at the negative side of things ! The crying the no sleep the sicknesses the nitely feeding! Well look sum of these girls are excited to see those lil hands hear those lil crys wipe those runny noses all for ur so called there mastakes of not useinf protection or the pill !Get real! This is all reality and grow up!
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!
Boy Are You Wrong
Posted: 08-27-03 18:07pm

Well excuse me if you jumped from 12 to 21 in 2 seconds. I am not judgmental and yes, they are babies having babies! This is reality darlin and if you want to live in your own fantasy world of "awww how cute, my baby just spit up on me, is crying like crazy, and its 2 in the morning, but I love it anyways" that is reality. You grow up! Tell me who is 17 with a 3 year old daughter and loves it so much with no hardship. Because that is not how it is!!! Every girl I meet said they should have waited or used protection because now they had to grow up in two minutes to raise a little one. I want to see how excited you are when your 13 year old daughter comes to you and says "mommy im gonna have a baby" boy will you be caca out of luck to raise the both of them. And I am grown up dear. Ive got my job as a secretary, im getting married next month, ive got my own place, and I volunteer my time to help teens, who are scared because they didnt use protection. Ive done my growing up now its your turn. Because there is, and there will be alot of crying, more crying, spit up, diapers, bottles, teething, and bathing. Its not all fun and dandy. So if you want to paint a pretty pictuer of having a baby so more girls will be 13 and pregnant, then you do that. But im trying to prevent it. Why should little girls have to learn the hard way that they should have used protection, when they can know ahead of time to stop them from being young moms. Yes they do make mistakes, my sister did. She is 17 and her baby is 1. She has it so easy with me and my mom to help, yet its still so hard. Good luck to you, but alot of girls appreciate my advice and I have made a few friends in here. Good day.
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Tanya

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2003
Posts: 145
Location: Hmm

Posted: 08-27-03 18:29pm

I agree 100% with nikki, no one says it better
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4921
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 08-27-03 18:48pm

Thank you so much tanya!
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HongKongChick

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 222
Location: Oklahoma
Calm Down
Posted: 08-27-03 23:33pm

Ok, ladies, let's just all be peaceful here! I think that both you girls have a point or two, but there is no absolute answers to everything in our lives.

I agree with nikki that alot of girls might not want to realize how hard it is to raise a kid, really, really hard! And some even make the same mistake over and over, some just give u the finger when u try to show them why we suggest them not to have sex without protection or even to have sex at all at a young age.

And yes, some girls are gonna be more mature than others, and they know what they are doing, but accidents happened, and we cant blame them.

But I also agree with pookers that everyone makes mistakes and some of these girls just want to have some comfort and help rather than to be scolded by some strangers that dont even know the whole situation or truth...

So the thing here is that no one should be saying who is right or wrong, because if you think about it, every girl's situation has two sides, and we will never never know exactly unless we are them, so let's not make any more assumptions and accusations.... And just be friends alright
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carvytaph

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Aug 2003
Posts: 87
Location: Pennsylvania

Posted: 09-03-03 10:48am

Well said, nikki!!! I agree 100% with you!!!! We are human and we make mistakes but almost everything is preventable. We want to have too much fun. Then we are upset when bad things happen. True, deal with it, but if we can help others prevent it. All the better!!
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