Normally I don't talk about this stuff, but because no one knows me here I feel like laying my problems on the table.


My problem is mainly with my appearance. I litteraly hate myself sometimes and wish I didn't exist at all. Granted, sometimes I feel pretty normal, but my overall feelings are filled with negativity. I think to myself "you've been going to the gym for the last couple of years and still look long and thin. Or my head is too small for my body. I look really strange from the side. My arms are too thin. My face looks weird etc..Etc.."
i think the main reason for this is that i'm 21 years old and never had any sort of girlfriend to boost my self-esteem. I don't feel like going out with friends if there are no girls around and am afraid to talk to girls.
I've been admiring girls ever since I was about 7 years old and always fantasized about how it would be to have a girlfriend, but I never took any action and when I tried I didn't have success.

I did meet some girl over the internet and she's nice and all, but i'm not attracted to her.
Normally i'm a really nice and honest person and I always like to make jokes (probably to make myself feel less depressed), but for some reason I never get any attention from girls. Even my friends never take me that seriously. I'm always the dude who walks around, talks to everyone and gets a red face when talking to an actractive girl. Again I think that might have to do with my looks.

I seriously hate it when I think a girl is attractive and see my friend take off with her like that even though I talked to her before.
How can I boost my self-esteem when I get rejected every time? My family says I look like a charming guy, but family isn't a good source to ask about looks. My friend says I act like a girl with the self-esteem problems, but why should only girls have that???
My problem is that my father when he was as young as I am looked quite silly (he looks much better now) and everyone tells me I look like my father.. My mother told me many times she didn't fall in love with the appearance of my father, but with his character.. Sorry, but that doesn't help me and even makes me feel worse than I already do.
I don't want to be the ugly and funny guy anymore.. I want to feel respected and finally get the girl I like..

Seriously, how is all this possible..!!??