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Darn It - Getting Depressed

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I am such a delayed responder in situations.

I am now getting extremely sad thinking that I did pass a twin. I am happy I still have the other child, but one child is gone. The probability of me having passed a twin is very high looking at my situation and from what the specialist told me (i have an excuse for that 15 pound weight gain in 5 weeks).

I went through such severe anxiety attacks up until that happened. Even that night I ruptured, I woke up three times throughout the night from anxiety attacks only to wake up in the morning in water and blood. The same thing happened to my mom around the same time but she lost the twin due to trauma. I even told my doctor and boss that I was worried that the amount of stress I was under was going to cause me to loss the baby. Why in the heck don't people listen to us pregnant woman who know their bodies?? Why?

I didn't think it would hit me like this. I physically feel fine but my doctor won't let me go back to work and has put me on modified bed rest through this pregnancy. I feel fine and then when I go out, I have some pains. My baby is sitting extremely low, too. I think the reality of how compromised this pregnancy can be is just now hitting. Emotionally, I am realizing I am not fine. I just want to cry and cry and cry. We are going to loose the house we were going to buy, have to pay this huge "break lease" payment from our crappy apt., and then find a crappy rental house near the hospital and my doctor's office because we don't want to take chances. Our crappy place is about 45 minutes, non rush hour, from the hospital. We just can't take our chances.

Why in the heck did this happen?? I know there are no answers really. Why is it hitting me like this? Even as I type this, I have little cramping that is not typical. Everything looks fine so far for the baby, I just need to be very good.

Oh, my mother in law who lives about four hours away called and offered to "take my son" for one week during her spring break to give us a break. She didn't offer to pick me up but just to take my son. No way! My son is three and I can't be without him for one week. This would also crush him. He can't even stand being without me for a few hours after all this happened. I know they are trying to be of help, but shouldn't they have offered to pick us both up or all three since my husband can cart his computer around and work from anywhere? I shouldn't have been offended by this but I was. Perhaps I would get offended by just about anything right now. I am a little sensitive.
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replied February 1st, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Im so sorry. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. But I do know how you feel as I had a miscarriage and I know there nothing in this world that will make you feel 100% better. Please try not to stress out or get severly depressed. I know its easier said than done. I will be praying for you and your unborn child. If theres anything you need to talk about, you can pm me. Smile
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replied February 1st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Thanks for your support. It just hit me last night. I think I feel a little better today. It will be an on and off struggle for a while. When I think about it, I start getting a little depressed. I just have to focus on the positive, which is still being pregnant with a seemingly healthy baby.

Thanks so much and I would love prayers,
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replied February 1st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Im sorry you have to go through all this, it must be really terrible

ive never had a miscarrage but I understand it not hitting you, when things happen to me I go around all fine for quite a while and people think im crazy or an "ice queen" or something, but then it hits me much much later and I go insane

i hope you can find a place fast, I know how hard it can be to look for a place, especially if its a largeish town/city

have you talked to your mother in law about your consern, she may not have realized that he ok with being away from you or vice versa, maybe if you talk to her (if you havent already) she will offer to have you over to or something...I dont know, its just an idea, im probably way off base here lol

~alicia~
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replied February 1st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Thanks alicia,

we are seeing them this weekend so I will probably talk with them at that time. I am a pretty open person, almost to a fault, so I will let them know my concerns about having nate go with us. At least my husband's mom will understand.

You do sound like you respond to situations like me. If I weren't on bed rest, I would be a crazy hyper woman doing a lot of stuff and also can be called an ice queen. I don't react to situations with a lot of tears, usually, so people think something is completely wrong with me in situations like this.

A little random rant!!

We live in western wa state and you know how much houses here run for?? 325,000 unless we go 2 hours south or 2 hours north. The average house actually costs 335,000 according to an article. How can anyone afford living here?? It's because of microsoft and the high tech companies. We moved back to be around family and now we are regretting that decision. You can't even buy a house in western wa seattle suburb areas for less than 200,000. You can get a very small old run down house for that amount in the area...It is so insane. If anyone is bored, try to find me a good house on johnlscott.Com...Go to king county, which is where everything is....I bet you can't find a good house for cheap!

Columbus oh was so much cheaper and so was phoenix az at least for awhile. When all this happened with my pregnancy, we were considering renting a house for a year and having me stay home. Oh my! Rental homes are so expensive. I may be stuck working after baby is born. Sorry, just another rant. This is just another thing that is making me a bit depressed. People here are all on something thinking that the average person can afford houses here. It shouldn't surprise anyone to know that the average house is on the market for 6 to 12 months here. Oh well. Life happens, right.

So sorry. I just vented like this is a diary.
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replied February 1st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Ho-ly sh|t Shocked we're having trouble finding a house here too. The market is all jacked up from .Hurricanes .Katrina and .Rita. A lot of houses sustained damage. What houses are left on the market after the .Katrina victims relocated here, have had their prices bumped up by 50k or more, simply because the owners know that people are desperate enough to pay that much. So a house that's worth maybe 70k costs at least 130k now, and there's no way we can afford that. Not to mention it's hard to get houses insured in this state now.

So trust me when I say I understand your frustration in that department. Sad
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replied February 1st, 2007
Especially eHealthy
ladylee70 wrote:
we live in western wa state and you know how much houses here run for?? 325,000 unless we go 2 hours south or 2 hours north. The average house actually costs 335,000 according to an article. How can anyone afford living here??


that's how it is here too. I grew up here and nick is in love with it too so we're not going anywhere. We just bought a tiny 950 sq foot condo for 170,000! Isn't that insane? We're hoping to be out of here and in a house within 5 years, especially since we want 4 kids and that's not happening in our 2 bedroom condo.

What a ripoff. It's sad.

Edit: where in arizona did you live? Nick grew up in mesa and I lived in scottsdale and the ghetto of west phoenix. I *hated* az.
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replied February 1st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I feel so bad saying anything since you are in a very hard situation due to katrina an rita. That is just so tough...And insurance - I can't even imagine.

New hampshire is that bad?? Oh my! Now that is expensive for a condo. What is the average price of a home?

If washington state paid more to keep up with the housing market, that would be understandable but it doesn't pay more. At least compared to az and oh. Grrrr.... It sounds like almost every place is getting hit.

Getto of west phoenix? That is so funny. We probably lived in the same area. I lived in peoria for a few years and then surprise az. That is a little farther west then el mirage, which was considered the ghetto. Surprise grew so quickly it was insane. In about three years, dysart school district added around five or six new schools. My son was born in sun city - yep, the retirement community. He ended up having chronic asthma there because the air quality has gotten so bad. He had to have almost daily breathing treatments. When we moved to ohio, his breathing became better and he rarely had an episode. He is still fine in wa and hasn't had one episode, which is strange with all the mold around. I couldn't even run outside without it hurting my lungs. Phoenix, az is not the place to live anymore for people who suffer from asthma. It seemed like at least 25% of the kids I worked with suffered from asthma. It was awful. At first I liked az and then I got sick of the constant sun. I never thought I could get sick of sun living being from wa state. I did end up hating it. Every year the heat seemed to get worse. I had nathan in the middle of august on a 114 degree day. It was horrible! At least it was airconditioned inside the hospital - actually a little too airconditioned. I was either too hot or too cold in az.
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replied February 1st, 2007
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Peoria, illinois?
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replied February 1st, 2007
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ladylee70 wrote:
new hampshire is that bad?? Oh my! Now that is expensive for a condo. What is the average price of a home?


we live in southern nh on the seacoast, it's very touristy and expensive. I guess the average for an entry level house is about $275,000. If we moved an hour north it probably be under $200,000, but we're not willing to move.


[quote="ladylee70]getto of west phoenix? That is so funny. We probably lived in the same area. I lived in peoria for a few years and then surprise az. That is a little farther west then el mirage, which was considered the ghetto. [/quote]

i lived like a mile from the metro center mall, so that was pretty ghetto. Then I moved and I was in between metro center and arrowhead mall. I don't know if that was a bad area or not because I spent no time there and practically lived with nick in tempe. I worked at the desert ridge mall, which was in the nice part of phoenix.

I liked it for about a year but then I got so tired of being so freakin' hot all the time and our a/c was always broken. The a/c in my car didn't work either. It sucked!!!
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