Im 25 and have been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 yrs and have two children..
I love him dearly and he is definately the one!
But after I had my second child I became very depressed without really knowing it, my partner is not one for talking things out with me so I just bottled it up but there was somthing playing on my mind that was really disturbing me.A male friend at work would often sit and talk to me and it was nice to have somone want to listen to my problems for a change.
We broke up briefly and my nan died who I hadnt seen or spoken to in 5 years as my dad and I didnt speak as I never really got on with him but out of respect went to the funeral.There my dad stood and to look at him sent a cold shiver down my spine. A couple of weeks after the funeral my partner and I got back together and things were good but slowly as the year went on I became very sad and depressed again and each night I kept seeing horrible things which involved me and my dad but just ignored them until it got to the stage where I was scared to go to sleep because of what I saw.My partner never had time to talk still so I spoke to my male friend from work alot as he listened..Me and my partner split up again last oct and during this time I started seeing the person from work, to be honest I didnt fancy him at all but he used to talk to me and listen when I spoke so for me it was great..
We kissed a couple of times but things never went any further than that as I didnt want it to as I still loved my partner.
Anyway at the beginning of november I was really missing my partner and during this time I went to see someone for help and later found out my nighmares were real things that had happened to me and it all became clear why I hated my dad so much.I tried to sort things out with my partner but he was reluctant as he thought I would just finish things again later down the line as I had before and also as he knew I had been seeing this person in the meen time.. Over the next couple of weeks I tried explaining to him that the person I had become after having our second child was a very mixed up and confused person.. He still was unsure so I eventually told him everthing about my dad..
He was so upset for me and just hugged me closely for ages.
We got back together in november and still are now. Things are great kids are happy. But his friends think he was mad to go back with me as they know nothing of the real reasons behind it all as far as they are concerned I was messing him about but I will never tell them as I have put it in the past now and the more people that know the more I will be reminded of it!
It is a shame as ive always been good friends with them but they think it was all because I left him for this bloke at work which me and my partner know is not true!! I just wanted to say how things that happened to you years ago can effect you and others so much later on in life and I hate my dad for it but ive moved on now and he wont mess my family up again!!