I'm having a bad day
i don't know if I mentioned but neil took
his girlfriend to portugal for the week.
He's been gone since last friday and he's
coming back on friday. Logan decided
that he would use this specific time to
completely change his routine and start
waking up at 6am and wake up around 8
times on a night too. He just keeps
crying to be picked up all the time during
the day too
It's been a completely exhausting time and
i'm really looking foward to the break on
saturday when their dad takes them.
I'm having a hard time coping at the
moment. I got an interview for midwifery
but decided i'm not going to be able to do
it right now while the kids are so young
so I feel like my dream has been
shattered.
Also i'm feeling really let down by neil.
I just don't understand how he could
abandon me and the kids. He is swanning
off on holiday with his girlfriend etc and
I feel, quite frankyly, a bit jealous
i feel my future is really uncertain at
the moment. I don't know what I want
from my life. I love my new boyfriend
but at the same time I don't want to grow
too attached to him in case he leaves me
like neil did.
I also feel upset cause he is not the
father of my kids. I had a proper family
unit with the father of my children and
now it's all gone. :
i actually feel like crying right now as I
write this . I realise i'm just having a
bad day and will probably feel better
tomorrow but it feels so much better to
vent.
Thanks for taking the time to read this
ah you poor thing,
it must be tough having to deal with
everything on your own and especially when
.Neil seems to be rubbing his 'freedom' in
your face at every possible chance.
Hmm...That sounded a bit pervy 
