My husband is a liar. He is a salesperson, a con artist, and can be wonderful to keep things his way and very very ugly when things dont go right. I found out some whopper lies last june and decided to give it a try to work it out. He was never repentant, never said he would change, he just wanted to stay. Then while trying to recover, I found another (newer)lie and decided I just couldnt deal with never knowing what is going on in his life. He wants to just be happy together with no questions or emotional intimacy - politeness and regular sex. Well, he just moved out, at my insistance, and I was looking forward to moving on, finding a new mr. Wonderful, and rebuilding, when I found out I am pregnant. I believe in pro choice, but because of various obvious signs (that I wont go into) I feel god wants me to keep this child. I feel suddenly alone. Burdened. Angry with god. I feel jealous that he can go out and meet many women and I will be at home with a baby. I feel like I shouldnt even date until the child is a few years old (i wouldnt want someone that would accept quite so much baggage) I am already 40. My looks are fading - or, well, they will be. in my sick mind, I want him to find out I am pregnant and come running back - but why - he is a miserable #@!@##@. What can I do to make sure I am not using this baby as an excuse to make him change and repent? How can I move on when I feel I need to wait nine month and two years. I know I saw definate answers from god to keep this baby, but I really really know it is a very stupid choice. I am so confused.