I got this as someone's aim away message:
we all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:

means a smile and

is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
Well, how about some "assicons?"
here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_x_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_e=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) money coming out of his ass
(_?_) health question