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Cant Cum Or Orgasm When Having Sex

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I need some help. I am unable to cum or orgasm when I am having sex with my girlfriend. I don't have a problem getting hard when I am with her. . I don't have a problem cuming when I am masturbating. I need to know some things I can do to remedy this problem. I masturbate 3 or so times a week usually and when I do I have to provide a little pressure which I dont get when I am having sex.. I have tried masturbating in front of my girl but it doesn't help.
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First Helper blue5548
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replied January 27th, 2007
Experienced User
How do you masturbate? Do you lie on your stomach when you masturbate?
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replied January 30th, 2007
healthysex wrote:
how do you masturbate? Do you lie on your stomach when you masturbate?


sometimes I lay on my back and sometimes I am sitting upright infront of my computer
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replied January 30th, 2007
Experienced User
Well youve taken the first step. Talk with your girl about it. Try new things...If nothing helps you can see a Dr. If your trying to do this stealthly give sex a break for a few. Try to trun each other on but refrain from having sex...After a few days you might see a nice change ^_^.
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replied January 30th, 2007
Experienced User
Ok. The reason I asked, because masturbating on your stomach such as rubbing against the bed causes sexual problems. But since you don't do that...

Are you or your girl familiar with kegels or pc exercises? If your girl had strong pc muscles she would be tighter and/or exert control/pressure while having sex with you. Other than that, try not to condition yourself to orgasm only through pressure. Use your mind to bring yourself to higher levels of arousal. Talking dirty, roleplay, whatever gets you going.
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replied February 6th, 2007
"ok. The reason I asked, because masturbating on your stomach such as rubbing against the bed causes sexual problems."

can u explain that...What problems can it cause? Ive never heard of that
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replied February 6th, 2007
Experienced User
blue5548 wrote:
"ok. The reason I asked, because masturbating on your stomach such as rubbing against the bed causes sexual problems."

can u explain that...What problems can it cause? Ive never heard of that


i googled a little and found the name, traumatic masturbatory syndrome.


Don't know if this is the best site for it, it's just the first one I found. Google around if you want to know more.


Http://www.Healthystrokes.Com/index.Html



edit: to the original poster of this thread you might like to check out my post, 5 down in this thread....

Http://ehealthforum.Com/health/viewtopic.P hp?P=519122#519122
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replied February 7th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
^^ hmm. You got me curious about tms now. I googled it, but only found a lot of garbage. Some sites said it is a real thing and that men should avoid masturbating face down, but they never explained what the symptoms are or anything like that. One site said that it is a silly, outdated theory. Another site that I found said that the theory originated with one man and his study, but no follow up study was ever done, so the theory is not respected in the medical community. Neither of those sites looked credible either, however. The site that you posted looked to be the most credible of them all, but I still had issues with it. They said their findings are based on "non-scientific" surveys from their site. That means that the participants were obviously an extremely biased sample. So now I am really curious as to whether it is a credible theory or not since I found sites on either side of the argument, but none of them were credible!
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replied February 7th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
I think the best advice given here has been for you to masturbate on your own and practice orgasming without that pressure!

Start out with almost as much pressure as you usually use, and then gradually lighten your touch. This may take a few weeks or even longer, but just like anything, it's possible Smile

this is probably good advice for me too; i'm a girl and I tend to have to get rough with myself too, and orgasming during sex is difficult for me.
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replied February 7th, 2007
Experienced User
llewellyn wrote:
^^ hmm. You got me curious about tms now. I googled it, but only found a lot of garbage. Some sites said it is a real thing and that men should avoid masturbating face down, but they never explained what the symptoms are or anything like that. One site said that it is a silly, outdated theory. Another site that I found said that the theory originated with one man and his study, but no follow up study was ever done, so the theory is not respected in the medical community. Neither of those sites looked credible either, however. The site that you posted looked to be the most credible of them all, but I still had issues with it. They said their findings are based on "non-scientific" surveys from their site. That means that the participants were obviously an extremely biased sample. So now I am really curious as to whether it is a credible theory or not since I found sites on either side of the argument, but none of them were credible!


i wouldn't know. I didn't even bother to look at the site, it's just something I had heard of before, and thought I might bring it up. I remember doing it when I first discovered masturbation, but probably never did it more than a dozen times.
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replied December 10th, 2008
I too am having the same problem
I am also aving a problem orgasming while having sex with my girlfriend. We have has sex 4 times and every time I havent orgasmed. She really turns me on and we had sex twice today. She has no problem orgasming. I have no problem cumming when masterbateing. I masterbated last, last week. Could a reason be I cant concentrate while having sex? I am always thinking about different things while we are doing it. I also have not had sex with a partner in quite sometime. This is a realatively new relationship. She thinks its she cant get me off, when she really does arouse me and turns me on. She is also a differemt type or women that I am usually attracted to. Meaning she is a little bigger she is 5'9" and about 160. I am usually attracted to women who are more petite. Could that be a reason?
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replied April 11th, 2010
i had unprotected sex with my bofriend
i want to tell something.i had sex with my boy firend and last month my period started on 28 march ..it was our first time ...and we did it on 5th april ... it went well ..and happened hardly for a minute. .actually we used protection but...he was scared and confused and next morning he convinced me to take the pill. after dat everything was fine but..last night dats on 10th my period started . i dnt understand why it started so early..
i also want to tell you dat.. its happening normally ...not much pain or any thing..its just like normal period..
could you please help and tell how long will it go??
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replied April 19th, 2012
I am 58 and have MS. I use viagra to get an erection but when my wife and I have sex, I cant ejaculate. Why is that?
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replied August 25th, 2012
Wow...I cannot believe people are not aware of the single most common cause of this problem. CIRCUMCISION

Now if you are not circumcised, then look to the other comments, but if you are, you should know that circumcision has been shown to remove the 5 MOST sensitive areas of the penis, making it much more difficult to ejaculate. The glans(head) becomes keratinized and less sensitive because it is a mucous membrane and is supposed to be an internal organ, not external. There are ways to improve sensitivity by wearing something that holds your remaining skin over the glans during the day to return moisture and de-keratinize the skin. You can also try foreskin restoration, though that takes much longer. good luck. Circumcision sucks... I've suffered this same issue

http://www.livescience.com/1624-study-circ umcision-removes-sensitive-parts.html

I'm gay and have been with men who are cut and who are not...and NEVER have I come across an uncut guy who cannot come pretty easily. Only cut guys are difficult
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replied July 12th, 2013
have cured this
I just wanted to post on one of these sites and give people some hope. I suffered from this problem and I am not circumcised and all I could find online was stuff about foreskin loss which obviously did not help. So this is advice for guys with no circumcision but have this problem.

I masturbated heavily and gripped my penis (death grip) really hard and watched porn every time. So when I first had sex at 22 I couldn't feel anything and it was unsatisfying and my first girlfriend was constantly frustrated and crying. She thought something was wrong with her when it was in fact me.

Causes of the problem...
Too much porn
Gripping penis too hard
Dry masturbation
Too frequent
Lack of sexual experience
Possible psychological or other

How to reverse the damage. So what I did was the following.

Used moisturising cream on my penis every night. Try and use one with vitamins in and rejuvinating ingredients such as Shea butter.
Cut down severely on masturbating. This might be tough at first but if you're finding it hard then start off doing it every 2 days and then the next week every 3 days and so on until you only feel the need to once a week.
Use lube and spit when you masturbate to mimic the lubrication of vaginal intercourse. You will find that this takes forever for you to cum at first but make sure it is really slippery and so your hand slides over the surface of your skin.
Do not grip hard and use your left hand.
Do not watch porn at all. This will be hard but you have to admit you have an addiction and train yourself not to watch it. If you have internet on your phone then do not look at any videos. Do not give in.
Lastly try and lie in a position on your bed either on your back or as though you are on top. I recommend on your back.
Another thing I really do recommend is get fit and eat the right foods. Exercise weekly. Eat red meats, nuts and carbs with a mixed healthy diet. Cut out smoking and drink less.

I came in my girlfriend today for the first time and it felt great. After over a year of frustration my hard work has finally paid off so please don't give up hope.

I just wanted to post this to let as many people know you can recover from this as I could not find any testimonials from anyone who had recovered from this depressing condition. I hope i have helped someone out. This might take a year so be patient and you should persist. Follow my guide and you will meet someone who is a good fit.
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replied July 17th, 2013
Hey reading up on the issues we have here, it would seem there are quite a lot of factors that would cause issues. But all issues aside I think overall health is probably one of the biggest factors. I take a product called nitro extreme and it really amps up the sexual drive or in other words improves one's sexual health.
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