*very long*

*well lets start off with my pregnancy, I was 12 years old, staring down at this pregnancy test that I had told the clerk was for my mother when I bought it. My eyes flooded with tears as I watched the pink slide across the boxes. One pink line, I closed my eyes for one second and wiped away my tears, the next time I looked at that test it changed my life forever. A second pink line. It had done no good to wipe away my tears, because by then my face was dripping with them as I cried and panicked. I hid the test wrapped in toilet paper at the bottom of the bathroom trash. I went to my bedroom, called up my boyfriend, who was 17 almost 18. I told him that something horrible happened and that we needed to get together. He picked me up and we went to his parents house about 20 minutes from mine. When we got to his room, he asked me what was so horrible. I couldn’t look up, I started crying uncontrollably again, and I whispered that I was pregnant. Instead of hugging me and telling me everything would be ok. He stepped back and said what the f*** do you mean your pregnant? I cried even harder and told him I was sorry. I told him I was sorry? Sorry for what, sorry that I had sex with him and that I wasn’t strong enough to tell him to use a condom? He grabbed my arm and yanked me off the bed and told me that I would have an abortion or he would kill me and “my slutty baby”. I begged him to let go of me and he did, he turned around and as I was getting ready to walk to the door, he turned back around and hit me closed fisted in the face. I fell to the floor and sobbed. He told me to shut up before his mom came down the hall and I did, he pulled me off the floor and drug me to his car. On the way back to my house I heard nothing but insults telling me that I was useless, unworthy, a promiscuous person and that this child couldn’t be his. I heard all of those things for the next 5 months. Daily he would hit, kick or slap me. At 17 weeks along, right after my ultrasound, I was so happy, I told him that the baby was healthy and that the doctor couldn’t tell the sex but that since the heartbeat was high it seemed like a girl. I should have known better then to tell him. He said that’s just great, a girl, a f***ing girl, she will be just like you. That was the very first time that he ever hit me in the stomach. It hurt so badly, I thought I was going to lose her. But I didn’t. After about 5 months he had met someone else and left me. It was the best day of my life.
*now about the labor when I went into labor I was 35 weeks and at a friend's house and we were laughing and getting ready for the 4th of july(it was the 2nd) and just like out of no where I get these intense contractions, to where I was literally doubling over in pain and we start freaking out and I told her I don't know what to do get your mom! Lol my water ended up breaking when I was walking to the cafeteria at the hospital. I was like oh crap! From then on it was long, exhausting and excruciating! My pelvic bone was too small and she was too far down to do a c-section so my pelvic bone started cracking, christina got stuck and they tried the vacuum ,but I broke the damn thing! I had to have a episomidy(sp) where they cut you so you down there, don't tear because she was twisted and since the was descending fast, they were worried about me tearing. They tried to maneuver her head and twist her and I nearly had a heart attack it was the worst part, cause the doctor was trying to stick his hands in there and twist her around, while she was descending, and it didn't work anyway. I was in labor for about 32 hours, pushing for about 3 1/2- 4hrs. When I finally did push her out, christina didn't crying for 3 minutes and I was in tears and they wouldn't tell me what was wrong. When she finally started crying I finally took a breath. I don’t think I breathed at all in that 3 minutes that she didn’t cry.
*motherhood- oh this is probably what you girls think is the best part, cause you get to play dress-up and take your new baby down to your school and here all the “aww” “how cute”. Well I will be the first to tell you, that baby vomit, diarrhea and spit up is not “aww” and “cute”. The first time your baby wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, laying in his or her own vomit, that is one of the most disgusting things in the entire world, you can’t just leave the sheets there because it will soak into the mattress and will eat away at the sheets, so you have to change and bath the baby, wash bedding, make the crib(which is very very hard to do, especially 5 days after giving birth) and put the baby back to sleep all at 2 am. You have to make sure your baby is fed on time, because a hungry baby won’t be calmed by rocking, they want to eat. Changing the baby, oh yeah if you leave them in a diaper too long they get diaper rash, and a few little red dots, I mean like bright red- and sometimes if you don’t use ointment or don’t change them more frequently it will start to bleed, which makes for a very unhappy baby. When they are sick, you had better have unlimited patients! They will cry just because they feel horrible, you can’t soothe them, and they will fight going to sleep. Growth spurts, you think you have them bad? Haha! With babies it doubles their food intake, they are fussy cause it hurts and yes that means about $50 more on new clothes. So your excited your baby is now crawling? Yeah, so was i, until I had to baby proof everything, pick up things that you wouldn’t normally notice. By time walking comes along, you better have everything out of their reach! Terrible 2’s? Nope not for christina, she had terrible 3’s! Saying “no” to everything, throwing temper tantrums, the whole bit. How are you going to punish them? What about daycare and high school? Work? See you girls aren’t looking at every aspect, just that when your pregnant, the baby kicks, you get to make up a name and after the baby is born everyone thinks its great! If you want to be a mom, be ready for many sleepless nights, cause even after the baby sleeps through the nights, you won’t. Be ready to spend a fortune and be ready to care for a sick child. Cause it is heartbreaking!

Kelly