Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 171
Location: Long Beach, Ca
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Looking For Someone.
Posted: 01-24-07 16:13pm
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Hi there, im 24 and recently broke up with
the girl I was dating and lived with for 2
years. I'm sociable and good looking but
I tend to be very intense. I lived at
home with my mom before I met this girl
and after 3 months we moved in with each
other. The relationship went sour due to
her lack of care about my feelings (not
calling or comming home at night). We
broke up at the begening of december and
talked for about a month. The begening
of jan 07 I told her that I have to cut
all communication with her becuase I keep
thinking about her etc. It's now hitting
me.
I moved out in september into my own place
and we still tried to keep the
relaitonship strong...And we failed.
My issue is I want to date but I cant.
My ex got it into my head that dating was
meeting someone and spending time with
them, being intimate etc. But with no
really comitment? Im confused becuase I
cant do that...Theres no way I could ever
be intimate with someone that im not
commiteted to or in love with...Because my
emotions are so intense.
I'm having trouble because I think I give
off the "boyfriend" vibe when i'm around
girls...Im caring, friendly and nice and I
dont think girls see me as the "dating"
type.
Am I getting too worked up too early out
of my past relatinship? Do I need to
relax and just force myself to "date"
without getting feelings (even though I
doubt that it can happen).
I'm becoming more and more lonley. All
of my friends are in serious relaitnship
and dont have much time to go out and play
so i'm either stuck at home constantly
thinking about online dating or going to
bars myself and scaring off people. I
look really young yet have a very mature
attitude mixed with a hyper crazy school
girl :/
i need some adivce!
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 171
Location: Long Beach, Ca
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Posted: 01-29-07 16:43pm
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Obviously not the spot for dating
advice...But its alwasy nice to talk to
yourself. I blog which is helpfull and
read the often, then I post on what I just
bloged about. It may seem like I have
alot of free time on my hands but I dont,
I just sneek in a post here and there
while working. So dont get 2 down on
yourself...Like everyone eles says it
happens when least expected. :p
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RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006
Posts: 131
Location: I'm a Yettie!
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Posted: 01-30-07 13:18pm
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| color of paper
wrote: | | obviously not the spot for
dating advice...But its alwasy nice to
talk to yourself. I blog which is
helpfull and read the often, then I post
on what I just bloged about. It may
seem like I have alot of free time on my
hands but I dont, I just sneek in a post
here and there while working. So dont
get 2 down on yourself...Like everyone
eles says it happens when least expected.
:p |
i talk to myself alot on here..Apparently
people will read what you have to say- but
don't have the balls to give advice.
Nice 
i am like you too. I cannot "date" one
person while they are dating multiple
people. In my eyes- that is cheating.
There are people like you- that want to be
with one person. There's nothing wrong
with that in fact I think
that is very respectable and loyal to the
person you are with. Be patient- there
are woman out there like that!
It sucks to be lonely- I know that. Been
there- and sorta am right now. I am
starting to improve that.. I do the
things that I couldn't do with my partner-
I love sports- so I hit the local gym-
signed up for yoga. Go skiing or
horseback riding, etc. Joined a group
oriented event- meet and make new friends.
I guess I am trying a completely
different approach- make friends first,
then boyfriend 2nd. I am not going to
rush myself into a doomed relationship,
because I am intense too.
You will find someone- be patient- in the
mean time- have fun with your life- do
something that you've always longed to do-
whether it be sky diving or a mini
vacation. The only thing I can tell you,
is women do not like be controlled. They
shouldn't have to check in [ my ex had me
checking in 3-4 times a day, like he
didn't trust me] be controlled- told what
to do or how to do it..Etc. Keep in mind
that they are with you- do not smother
them.. Or they will think that is all you
have in your life. Make them understand
this: "you're my lover, not my life."
that's what my ex needed to realize.
Yes- I loved hanging out and doing stuff
with him- I even leased an apartment with
him- joined a gym with him, etc. But do
*not* treat any relationship like a
marriage.. That's where mine went wrong.
I still had commitments to contend
to...And that made him jealous fast.
Even though it was just my family.
Good luck- you seem to give good advice on
here- and have a great head on your
shoulders- you'll get through this little
bump!
-=red=-
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 6492
Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-30-07 13:33pm
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I never really came on this forum before a
couple of days ago oddly enough. I'm
usually in the preggo boards with my
homies. Lol
i so should not be giving dating advice.
Paper, you sound like a nice guy. What
if you joined a team sport or something
where you could meet girls in a casual
setting and then who knows?
Missdepressed, it's been a lil while since
you made your original post, how are
things going?? Is he away right now?
That's great that you are getting into
sports and stuff. A great stress
reliever!! (so i've heard-lol) byt he
way sorry your other topic got so off
topic.
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RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006
Posts: 131
Location: I'm a Yettie!
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Posted: 01-30-07 14:31pm
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Hi blaze!
They are better- I moved out of the
apartment I leased with him- but still pay
my portion.. Just living at home. We
talk off and on- he's still controlling..
So I know there is no real feature for us-
which is sad- but I can't be around
someone who has a consent temper
what a cute picture!! I have to get one
of my goofy (_)_) up here! How is
everything with you?
-=red=-
| lil_blaze2004
wrote: |
missdepressed, it's been a lil while since
you made your original post, how are
things going?? Is he away right now?
That's great that you are getting into
sports and stuff. A great stress
reliever!! (so i've heard-lol) byt he
way sorry your other topic got so off
topic. |
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 171
Location: Long Beach, Ca
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Posted: 01-30-07 17:35pm
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Aww thank you girls so much ^_^. I'm
actually buying peices of snowboarding
gear and ive been 2 times...I think your
very right about getting out there...I'm
picking up a new hobbie and its awsome.
About the controlling issue...Im super not
controlling. My ex would go out get
drunk and end up sleeping at her ex
girlfriends house. She would go out call
me drunk and tell me how much she loves me
and that she cant wait to get home and
crawl into bed with me then I woudlnt hear
from her tell noon the next day. I'm
super sensitive when it comes to
sleeping...I love to sleep next to her, it
made me feel so safe and clean. There
were many more incidents like this...This
girl would never cheat on me, she has a
good heart...Shes just a few steps behind
me in the mature department. Thanks
again from your guys support ^_^
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 6492
Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-30-07 20:06pm
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| missdepressed
wrote: | hi blaze!
They are better- I moved out of the
apartment I leased with him- but still pay
my portion.. Just living at home. We
talk off and on- he's still controlling..
So I know there is no real feature for
us- which is sad- but I can't be around
someone who has a consent temper
what a cute picture!! I have to get one
of my goofy (_)_) up here! How is
everything with you?
-=red=-
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he seems like an looooo-ser lol. I
don't know of any "real man" that would
take half the rent from his girl if she
did not live their. Whether your name is
on the lease or not.
It sucks breaking up but it either makes
the other person smarten up or makes you
realize you were better off without
them!
Lol my avatar is a pic I took with my son
friday night before he went with his dad
for the weekend. I think he was sick of
me kissing him-lol
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 6492
Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-30-07 20:09pm
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| color of paper
wrote: | | my ex would go out get
drunk and end up sleeping at her ex
girlfriends house.
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hunh? Ohhhh 
usually taking up a hobby helps in a
breakup. And meeting new people. It's
a tad diff for me cause I have a child but
dating is dating right?? Lol
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RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006
Posts: 131
Location: I'm a Yettie!
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Posted: 01-31-07 10:48am
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| color of paper
wrote: | | aww thank you girls so much
^_^. I'm actually buying peices of
snowboarding gear and ive been 2 times...I
think your very right about getting out
there...I'm picking up a new hobbie and
its awsome. About the controlling
issue...Im super not controlling. My ex
would go out get drunk and end up sleeping
at her ex girlfriends house. She would
go out call me drunk and tell me how much
she loves me and that she cant wait to get
home and crawl into bed with me then I
woudlnt hear from her tell noon the next
day. I'm super sensitive when it comes
to sleeping...I love to sleep next to her,
it made me feel so safe and clean.
There were many more incidents like
this...This girl would never cheat on me,
she has a good heart...Shes just a few
steps behind me in the mature department.
Thanks again from your guys support
^_^ |
that is great- paper- good for you! Now
that's all I have to do- is to find a new
hobby you don't come off
as controlling, to me. Especially the
person I dated last...He was a complete
control freak. I couldn't breath without
him knowing about it- it's pretty sad-
that you have to lock yourself in the
bathroom, with the shower running, to make
a phone call home. That's controlling!
it's funny- because me and him are so
different. I love the snow too- and want
to start skiing again- he wouldn't even
try it. I hate that! Not to even try
something new?
That's great that you are going out there
and doing things! She'll hopefully get
sick of being drunk, and wake up!
-=red=-
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san54
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2003
Posts: 227
Location: Virginia
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Looking For Someone
Posted: 01-31-07 11:03am
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You are yound yet. Give yourself time to
find the right girl for you. She is out
there. Going out with someone does not
mean you have to get intimate with them
right away. Growing to love someone takes
time. Learn about that person and let
them learn about you. The good and the
bad. If there is something there then
okay. But I am from the old school. No
sex until marriage. You want to find the
right person for you, that fits your
personality.Good luck and take your time,
the right person is out there.
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 171
Location: Long Beach, Ca
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Posts: 1743
Location: NY
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Posted: 02-02-07 18:40pm
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I am also like you, color. I am either
with someone or not, in a relationship or
not. There's not really any "in between"
with me. I don't casually date people.
I jump right into commitment.
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 171
Location: Long Beach, Ca
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Posted: 02-02-07 21:06pm
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Its hard being like this but from what im
learning is that I really need to hold
back my feelings and get involved with
other things...New hobbies, work etc.
Its so hard!! I can meet someone and
basicly fall in love with them...Its bad
bad bad lol.
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Posts: 1743
Location: NY
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Posted: 02-03-07 00:18am
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Aw, it isn't always bad. You sound like
a great guy. I think there are many
women out there who are looking for
someone exactly like you! You probably
just have to find someone who is like you
and won't hurt you or take advantage of
you.
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 171
Location: Long Beach, Ca
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Posted: 02-05-07 10:11am
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Thx llewellyn that made me smile ^_^
...Will make this workday much better
tehe.
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musicdiva1331
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2008
Posts: 21
Location: ,
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Posted: 03-18-08 00:03am
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I understand this totally. when I "date" I
only date one person. ever. because to me,
I'm dating you to learn about you so we
can move forward and maybe fall in love
etc. It does tend to get me hurt a lot
(college boys are not the best for wanting
commitment), but I've learned that while
you can be exclusive, you've got to move
SLOOOOW. really.
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gugu
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 10
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Posted: 04-02-08 03:59am
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Paper I think you should try hooking up
with llewellyn ....who knows what!!!! 
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