Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Off Meds. Posted: 01-23-07 19:20pm
I am 24 and was diagnosed bi-polar when I
was 18. I know ive struggled with life
in genral becuase of my brain and the way
I think. So far I have yet to meet
someone that analizes and pays attention
to things as close as I do. I stress
myself out over things that most would say
are insignificant. I've been in very
hard relatinships since ive been 16, every
one lasting more than 2 years. I've
tried many different med's and Dr.S. For
the last 5 months I have been dealing with
a break up from a girl I lived with. I
have been on a super mild medication
(lexapro) becuase i've been able to
control my impulses and moods more now
that i'm living alone and have more time
to myself. Somethign im dreading thats
causing much pain in my heart.
I find myself alone in this
world...Feeling out of place as maybe I
should be locked up or in a ward. I'm
becmoing very lonely and am starting to
think I scare everyone off. I look like
im 18, keep myself in good shape and
healthy. Have a good job and am
thankfull for holding my life togher as
much as I do now. I am off the meds and
starting to go out more and socialize but
find myself so intense that it scares most
people off. When I talk to a girl I dont
hold back I like to talk. I'm not
intrusive or aggresive, im a perfect mix
of passive and aggressive and have very
good "talking" skills but I still get 2
into things. I find myself wishing I
didnt think so much about things. I
still get totaly worked up over my ex
being with someone eles or reverting to
her permiscous past. I have no contact
with her but it tears me apart. I
started posting on this forum monday and
already feel alot better just reading
everyones post, replying with what
knowldge I have. But I cant get this
whole thinking thing out of my head.
This is what I do best is ramble on in
cycles about nothing. I'm not sure if
its the best thing to get off the meds but
I feel that this is the best time, when I
have no distractions from myself. I
really hate the way medication makes me
feel, im very aware of whats in my body
and its alwasy been very apparent of when
the meds start kicking in.
I just need some advice about getting off
my meds. My psy and dr think its not the
best idea but they both know how I have
been my whole life. Ive never been alone
and now I am and I know its helping me day
by day without the meds.
Ultimatly I want to live this life
bi-polar....But chemical free....Am I
dreaming?
|
johnR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 230
Posted: 01-23-07 20:32pm
Hi color,
i'm not bi-polar but have a friend who is
24 and bi-polar and she is having a great
deal of success using cbt to supplement
her meds and is hoping to eventually get
off of her meds which she has been
reducing. I suffered from panic, anxiety
and depression and cbt has changed my life
more than I ever thought anything could
this past year. I highly recommend giving
cbt a try. If you can't afford a cbt
group pick up a copy of been there, done
that? Do this! By sam obitz (tao3.Com)
and start doing the tea form exercise in
it. We started with this book in my group
and it is a easy read and teaches you how
to counter your thoughts in the middle
section. The more you work on the
exercises the more relief you get, I am
still improving today. Hang in there and
let me know how you are doing.
|
Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 01-24-07 15:57pm
Johnr thank you very much. I am ordering
the book by sam obitz. I have read a few
books on self control, inner happiness and
what not but this does give me something
to look forward 2. I will post soon on
how things are going. This looks exactly
like what I was looking for. Its very
frustrating when ever single person who
knows my situation thinks I need to stay
on the meds.....You have givin me some
light ^_^
First of all who put you on lexapro? The
doctor that diagnosed you or another
doctor? Lexapro btw is a very strong
drug. I know I was on it for 4 months.
It's one of the fastest acting
anti-depressants out there. But if you
are bi-polar you should not be on an
anti-depressant, it could make you worse
and and that is usually when they know for
certain you are bi-polar because on an
anti depressant you won’t be able to
sleep and your symptoms will actually get
worse. If you are bipolar you need to be
on your meds at all times. This is
something you must live with and get used
to now. Going on and off the meds is
never good advice. I would suggest you
track down a bipolar specialist in your
area who can properly diagnose you and get
you on the right medications. Lexapro is
not the proper medication for you
That may be good advice for someone with
mild depression, etc, but I have never
read a true success story from someone
that is bipolar treating themselves only
with suppliments. Again, color, seek the
advice of a specialist. Suppliments will
help, but you have a chemical imbalance
that will get worse with age and worse if
left untreated correctly. Don't waste
years of your life trying to treat this
illness on your own
|
Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 01-24-07 22:13pm
I woudlnt say you have been on it if you
have only givin it 4 months adnor, meds
can take a very long time to reach full
effect. Ive been to many dr's and have
been steady with one for the last few
years. Lexapro has no sideeffects with
me, it actually helps me sleep and keeps
me very level headed. Ive been on sevral
medications for each over a year. My
current psychologist is very well known
for dealing with bi-polarity disorders.
Currently i've noticed that living by
myself has helped me more than antying I
have ever done. I will not look at
myself as having a problem that can only
be "helped" by chemical medication.
Thank you for all of your responses though
this is giving me so much insight.
|
JFB
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jan 2007 Posts: 504 Location: Sunnyvale
Posted: 01-27-07 01:13am
Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder
characterized by alternating states of
depression and mania that follow each
other in a repeating cycle. People with
bipolar disorder may cycle through these
states quickly or may experience long
periods of depression or mania. Often
one mood state predominates, while the
other occurs only infrequently or briefly.
The following nutritional components may
be beneficial. L-tyrosine plays a role
in neurotransmitting systems, which may
affect mental health conditions. St.
John’s wort extract helps promote a
positive mood and combats depression.
The vitamin b complex 50 is made up of
several vitamins that work well together
to support nervous system health. Ginkgo
biloba has been used to maintain
peripheral circulation to the brain.
Vitamin c, grape seed and green tea
provide antioxidants that protect nerve
cells and other parts of the body against
free radical damage, a possible outcome of
depression
|
johnR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 230
Posted: 01-29-07 19:04pm
color of paper
wrote:
johnr thank you very much.
I am ordering the book by sam obitz. I
have read a few books on self control,
inner happiness and what not but this does
give me something to look forward 2. I
will post soon on how things are going.
This looks exactly like what I was looking
for. Its very frustrating when ever
single person who knows my situation
thinks I need to stay on the meds.....You
have givin me some light
^_^
hi color,
i hope the cbt exercises are helpful to
you. Let me know how it goes? I think
you will enjoy the book and find the
exercises like the tea form in the middle
section useful like my other bi-polar
friend has. I'm not against meds but feel
that they can become a crutch and were for
me before I learned cbt. Take care and
let me know how it is going for you.
|
trying_to_cope
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 32 Location: Seattle
Yes, Agreed Johnr Posted: 02-01-07 02:03am
The obitz book can help to reduce
resentment, which compounds all of our
health problems. This whole medication
industry is a self-perpetuated scam, and
we are all making ourselves dependent
victims with each passing year.
|
Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-01-07 11:07am
Trying to cope...I disagree. Some cases
must have medication. I mean there brain
is really "not right". I know who am I
to say someones brain is not right? Well
its not wright when they are hurting for
no reason other than a chemical imballance
they have. There are many people out
there that need constant attnetion and
meds...I'm super lucky that ive been very
aware of myself for a very long time for
someone my age. I have been working
through the book and its o so lovely. Ill
post an update in a few weeks once I have
a few things worked out. Thanks
everone!!! You mean the world.
|
loadedguncmplx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2007 Posts: 23 Location: Nipomo, CA
Posted: 02-01-07 11:16am
Colour,
i have been medicated for rapid-cycling
bipolar for the last 7 years. First off,
your psychiatrist should know better than
to put you on an anti-depressant for
bipolar when what you really need to be on
is a mood stabalizer such as ability,
lithium, topomax, etc. I have kind of the
same background that you described. I
would get angry/frustrated over things
that were trivial to other people, i've
also been in a lot of hard long-term
relationships of which my bipolar, even
while medicated, took its toll on. And in
7 years I have only come off my medication
one time and it was a 2-3 month period in
june of 06 where about a week after coming
off my meds my life very quickly started
to spiral downward. I was engaged up
until about 3 weeks after I came off my
meds, and that went to hell, and I ended
up being institutionalized for a month for
trying to take my own life. I strongly
urge you (its your life you're obviously
going to do what you want) to find a new
psychiatrist and get on some medication
that works well for you. It often takes
trying a few medications to find one that
really works for you because bipolar
disorder is a progressive illness, it only
gets worse with time (especially during
periods of not being on medication).
People who suffer from bipolar disorder
need to take medication for the rest of
their life. And i'll bet the lexapro
actually did work for a while for you for
the depression aspect of the disorder but
at the same time probably made your manic
episodes more intense and more frequent.
And if you don't find a medication that
works for you right off the bat don't give
up on it just yet, as we grow our brain
chemistry is constantly changing so a
medication that may have worked for you in
the past may not work for you again
because your brain chemistry has changed.
There are some excellent bipolar meds out
there right now that start to work in a
matter of 2-5 days, even when you're
working your way up to a therapeutic
dosage.
I just want to leave you with a few
statistics before I end this ridiculously
long reply though...
The annual average suicide rate in males
and females diagnosed with bipolar is 10
to more than 20 times higher than that of
the general population.
And...
The divorce rate for couples where at
least 1 spouse is bipolar is 90% which is
nearly double that of the general
population (which is estimated to be at
about 50%).
|
Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-01-07 12:02pm
Wow thank you for the reply loadedgun.
You sound very similar to me. One thing
though is I was on lithum for 2 years.
Ive been on depakote(sp), topomax, etc.
I've alwasy giving meds at least a year as
I understand they take time to work...And
take time to adjust your life. The
reason I hate meds is becuase im super
super hyper. Anything I take makes me
hyper...I smoke pot and it makes me hyper.
I dont have add...If I take redilin(sp)
or any other type of adhd meds it makes me
hyper...I have way to much energy and this
doesnt go well with my bipolar. I do
agree on seeking a new psy becuase I know
there are meds out there that I havnt even
heard of etc. But that is a very hard
track as we all know. I am trying the
cbt thinkg right now, reading a book
constantly when im home and just getting
really involved...Keeping my mind super
busy.
These forums have helped me more than
anything in the last few days since I
joined. Thank you again for your reply
and the facts at the bottom. Its sad
people dont wait to get married
|
loadedguncmplx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2007 Posts: 23 Location: Nipomo, CA
Posted: 02-01-07 12:34pm
Its funny you should mention marriage
because i'm actually engaged right now
with my fiance and my first child on the
way.
I can definately understand what you said
in your initial post about feeling when
the meds kick in when you've been on
lithium and depakote. I was on both for a
while and especially the lithium I was
really turned off too. I felt like it
really made me numb and like I was more of
a spectater in the world rather than a
participant. Same thing with the
depakote. I just got on a newer
medication, that none of my family who are
just about all bipolar and I have some
friends who are as well, called abilfy and
it has worked wonders for me. Its a
bipolar/schizo med. They make a
5,10,15,20,30mg tablets and for me I only
take the 15mg and it works so great for
me. But there have been a lot of new meds
that have come out in the last 6 months or
so that are supposed to be
groundbreaking.
As for the hyper thing, being on a
unipolar antidepressant with our condition
can really horribly aggrevate it and push
you into an almost perpetual state of
mania. You mentioned that adhd meds make
you even more hyper but ritalin is not a
very good drug for a bipolar person as it
is a stimulant, that too can put you into
a perpetual state of mania. I have add
and I have tried just about every single
add/adhd medication under the sun! And it
was hard for me to get my doctors to
realize that for instance, the strattera
they had me on wasn't giving me any
results. They now have me on the 30mg
adderall xr which has worked wonders and
it took me like 6 different add meds to
get one that worked. That was the last
medication they were going to have my try
basically because its an amphetamine
derivitive and I struggled with a
substance abuse problem (cocaine) which is
why my bpd progressed to rapid-cycling so
quickly for my age. I just had to
reassure him that if I felt it starting to
aggrevate my condition that I would
immediately cease taking it and get in for
an appointment. It really is worth it
even if it takes years to get onto a
medication that works for you (and once
you do and that one stops working they
have a better idea of what to put you on
next because they can use meds from the
same family) and at least in my case I am
leading such a happier and more full life
then I ever have now that i'm on a good
combination of meds, so please dont give
up on them just yet :d
a couple questions though...
During your periods of hyperactivity:
do you find that you need a lot less sleep
and still are rested the next day?
Do you find yourself with more
self-confidence than normal?
Often kind of stubborn and/or irritable?
Like you get more stuff done?
|
Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-01-07 13:01pm
Congrats on the engagment and the baby!!!
Thats so awsome ^_^.
My hyperactivity is very odd. Its not an
anoying uncontroled hyper...I just am
bursting with energy. I would consider
myself a very confident person but not
egotistical at all. I'm never stubborn
but I do get irritable when i'm
depressed....Very irritable.
I took the redilin just for the hell of
it...It wasnt perscribed but it was just a
test....My heart almost poped out of my
chest.
When I was younger I would get hyper and
lose my impulse control and do very odd
things. I would climb things or break
into someones house...No bad
intentions...Excpt to get into a locked
house. Most of my friends have made
comments on me possibly having terrets(sp)
becuase I have huge outbreaks where I will
just start doing something very odd
(making faces, or being super silly and
goofy, screaming really lound).
These outbreaks or intense energys I have
never interfierd with my profesional life,
I can keep them under control but it feels
good to release this energy I have. Also
if I dont release it it builds up and I
use it on thoughts and thinking.
I tend to ruminate about things and
overthink everything....I'm just a very
intense person regardless.
I will deff have to look into the meds you
noted. Thank you for your help, we sound
alot alike in certian ways. And congrats
again!! Im so happy for you that you've
got your stuff together and have a little
one on the way...Hopefully I can someday
also ^_^
|
loadedguncmplx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2007 Posts: 23 Location: Nipomo, CA
Posted: 02-01-07 13:41pm
I just am bursting with energy. I would
consider myself a very confident person
but not egotistical at all. I'm never
stubborn but I do get irritable when i'm
depressed....Very irritable.
While i've never met you or seen you
during an episode that sounds like a state
of hypomania to me, not full blown mania
but between mania and euthymia.
Hypomania actually has a lot of benefits
to it:
its less destructive than mania
generally one experiences less of the
symptoms of mania
people experiencing hypomania are often
energetic, euphoric, charismatic,
confident, and come up with a lot of new
ideas and are more productive or
creative.
But at the same time irritability and
aggression can be associated with it.
But or the 3-4 psychiatrists i've seen
over the last 7 years, all of them but one
thought that people could possibly benefit
from the mental stimulation of hypomania.
But at the same time it does carry the
risk that it could become a full blown
manic episode.
I actually had taken adderall ir (instant
release instead of extended release) in
high school on a couple occasions when I
needed to cram for a test or I had put off
writing an essay that was do the next day
and I didn't know I had add at the time so
I was actually taking what they would
basically have me on later. But my body
just metabolizes the ir too quickly so I
had to be on the xr.
As for the tourettes, that really could
just be that you're kinda easy going and
have non-destructive ways of excess
energy. Could be doing a lot worse things
like self-mutilating. But the trouble
with impulse control sounds like textbook
mania to me. Had your parents when you
were younger had you see a therapist or a
psychiatrist or anyone in the mental
health field? In my case I had and my mom
is bipolar and just about everyone on that
side of my family is and the psychiatrist
I saw actually put me on prozac and
depakote but refused to diagnose me as
bipolar because the dsm-iv doesn't have
specific guidelines for diagnosing
children (where children are actually
fairly rapid-cycling or mixed-cycling.
Looking back, I think that I probably
wouldn't have acted out as much in school
as I did and created so much trouble had
they not put me on an anti-depressant
which I think really screwed with my bpd
and caused me a lot more grief growing up
then I should have had lol
|
cece7
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 132
Posted: 02-17-07 20:09pm
color of paper
wrote:
i tend to ruminate about things and
overthink everything....I'm just a very
intense person regardless.
hi you seem like a nice person and I am
new to the site and suffered from bad
anxiety and depression before I entered
cognitive training and discovered the
wonders of thought countering in a tea
form. I am not bi-polar but we had a
bi-polar guy in my group and our therapist
said that he was not likely to ever get
off meds but he told me the cognitive
training worked really well with helping
him get out of his head when he was stuck
ruminating. I liked the book by sam obitz
and could relate to a lot of it but I do
not think he was bi-polar like you are so
I hope you stay on your meds and use the
tea form with your meds so you get more
out of them.
|
Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-17-07 23:39pm
Hi, I really appreciate everyones
input...Very much.
Its my friends bday so I dont have much
time to respond. I will get back 2 both
of you tomorrow. ^_^
|
cece7
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 132
Posted: 02-19-07 18:25pm
No hurry. I hope your friend had a nice
b-day
|
cece7
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 132
Posted: 02-25-07 22:03pm
Color of Paper
wrote:
Hi, I really appreciate
everyones input...Very much.
Its my friends bday so I dont have much
time to respond. I will get back 2 both
of you tomorrow.
^_^
It's several days later now so that must
have been some party
|
johnR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 230
Posted: 03-20-07 15:28pm
Color of Paper
wrote:
Trying to cope...I disagree.
Some cases must have medication. I
mean there brain is really "not right".
I know who am I to say someones brain is
not right? Well its not wright when they
are hurting for no reason other than a
chemical imballance they have. There are
many people out there that need constant
attnetion and meds...I'm super lucky that
ive been very aware of myself for a very
long time for someone my age. I have
been working through the book and its o so
lovely. Ill post an update in a few weeks
once I have a few things worked out.
Thanks everone!!! You mean the
world.
I agree and especially with bi-polar I
think meds are a necessary component to
successful treatment. I am a big proponent
of cbt, but cbt without meds for bi-polar
disorder is not likely to have the same
positive effects it does without meds that
it does for anxiety and depression. Used
with meds for bi-polar I think cbt can be
a big help in dealing with bi-polar
though.
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