My husband recently told me that he couldn’t get over hurt he has felt due to my withdrawal. He travels almost all the time and over time i've been hurt because I never came first. He did try to make it up to me many times, but I rarely felt like he was serious about making real change. I now know I was wrong and i'm very sorry and ashamed. I've been trying to help him heal for several months and he cannot get past it all. Last night everything came to a head. I thought we'd made some progress the last few weeks, but in his mind there has been no improvement in his feelings. He says he still loves me and there has been no infidelity. This morning he left our home and will be gone indefinitely. He doesn't know how long he will need to get his mind cleared. He felt like I constantly pushed him into a corner when he was home and when we communicated regularly on the phone when he was out of town. He said he feels that if he can get some time on his own with no distractions from me he will sort this out. He says he doesn't want a divorce, but can't go on like he is. We don't argue and we do treat each other with compassion and respect. I love him with all my heart and want him to be happy.

We've been married 4-1/2 years and most of the time despite the heavy travel we've been happy. Both are educated with good jobs and no kids.

Has anyone had a similar experience with separation? How do I cope with the uncertainty? How can I help him if I don't have contact with him?