Anyone Remember Me?

Heloo. Im not sure if you guys remember me, but if not ill tell you about myself.
Well i've been bulimic for coming up to two years now, I went into recovery in august 2005, probably when I was talking to most of you. I was throwing up three times a day and then got it down to once a day and "zero" days, when I didnt binge or purge at all. Umm yeah fast forward a bit, I stayed in recovery until june 2006 and I was doing really well.. Once I didnt bp for 10 days. !**@!!

After that my parents separated and now I live with my dad who has no idea how to take care of me at all. He just works and gives me money and thats waht he thinks parenting is.
So I was pro-ed for about 5 months.. July - december. My weight is now rediculously low for my height. I dont know if you would consider this low but I do.. 46.9kg on a 173/5"8 height. Bmi.... About 15.6 I think?
Anyway so I do modelling now and my agency has told me to gain weight and I was thinkingabout trying recovery again cause my ed has taken over my life.

Cause now im a mix of anorexia and bulimia, so im trying to eat more and throw up less, butt the throwing up part is harder to not do so im trying to eat more, but im not gaining so its siht.

Hmmm well to sum it up I think I need to be in recovery and im trying to deal with issues and stuff, but when I do my moods go insanely crazy and I get really depressed.
So im scared to be in recovery because I dont want to go insane, but I know if I dont go into recovery I will also go insane.
Any suggestions... Or anyone remember me?
Hope you are all doing well.
X