I looove spanking, and getting spanked. Never to the point where it actually hurts though.
It's just fun. Its a little smack and a grab of the butt. It just feels good and kinky, can't really explain it. But its just fun, and is absolutely NOT because of depression and low self-worth at all!! Its playful.
Spanking to the point where it actually really hurts though, I don't get either.
my boyfriend has a big thing about spanking me while i am not keen.. i dont mind when its light but he only starts out like that before getting harder and harder.. not pleasant when your bum starts stinging like mad! and now he wants to take it further using a cane.. i've posted about this in another forum area as i really looking for advice how to deal with it
You have to refuse it. It is wrong to cause pain to the other when they do not want it. It is okay if they want something done to them provided the other is willing but letting someone do something nasty to you for their pleasure is not on.
lisa, if you are not keen about it, dont let your boyfriend do it. remember, a man will only go as far as u let him. really, just talk to him. i can understand a quick spank to spice things up, but the cane is really too much. best of luck to you!
Oh I disagree. As long as taking a chance isn't dangerous to your health it's extremely foolish not to try things at least once. We all have a favorite food we never imaged we'd like. Not trying something because we don't understand the appeal is a recipe for a life of miseries. However, Lisa should definitely learn more about BDSM before getting involved.
I'm not really up to answering a 2 year old question but if you still have questions about spanking you're welcome to IM me.
I understand your outlook but don't agree with it. Nothing good in my life has come of avoiding things I'm not comfortable with whether it was a promotion at work, a love for Indian food or a taste for rope bondage. More often than not the best things in my life were pushed on me by someone else. Establishing healthy boundries is an essential part of exploring the world around you and education about your curiousities is important in establishing where and why those boundries should be, but refusing to look boyond those boundries is a recipie for an unfulfilling life.
As it turns out Lisa_M has gone on to experiment more with heavier BDSM with her boyfriend. She was initially very positive about her experience. She hasn't posted recently and I hope she's doing well.
It's for the same reason people like being dirty talked or dominated. Being spanked arouses some people and turns them on.
I like being spanked by my boyfriend, and I like spanking him, purely because it feels naughty and is a turn on. He also likes both too. We're both switches, so we both like spanking BEING spanked, however he's normally a dominant, and I'm normally submissive.
We don't do it for pain, our primary reasons are that it's good fun, feels naughty and is very sexy.
However some people DO do it because to them, pain, or inficting it on another (willing) subject IS a turn on. As long as it is all consensual and people are happy and enjoy themselves then it's all ok.
Well, I can say that although I have actually never got to spank a girlfriend or wife or be spanked by one, the strong desire is there. I often have to spank myself because I have no one that can spank me. I am a single male looking for a girl into spanking. I don't have low self esteem but I do have a fear of ending up with the wrong person. So I tend to be careful. Ever since I hit puberty I naturally and without effort developed a desire to be spanked. I do wonder if it is some how linked to my childhood because I was spanked often. I was a good kid but my parents were very strict. I now find spanking to be very attractive and would love to give or receive from my special girl. I both enjoy the pain as a sub and love to feel in control as a top. It is the greatest arousal I have found. More people should try it!
There are lots of ladies that love to take on the dominant or dominatrix role and be in charge. If its not for you, thats fine, but anyone asking the question should try it at least once just to see if it is for them.
W0lf and Peter,
Don't tell anyone they "should" do something. What's pleasurable for one person is not necessarily pleasurable for another, INCLUDING trying something you're not interested in trying! Just because in your life you find it important to try anything at least once, it doesn't mean everyone else "should" too. It's arrogant to assume you know what's best for everyone. I suggest keeping your "religion" to yourself, or offering it as opinion, not fact.
Perspective + hormones determines if you think it's great or bad
If you're open to it with s lover that you trust, it's intensely physical foreplay that gets both of you wonderfully excited--and the woman (assuming that she gets the spanking) gets all those wonderful hormones--especially endorphin which is related to morphine but stronger!
Read my comments (G1985K) about "Good Girl Spanking," follow my links to other posts, and read the comments to my postings where I added more cross-references in:
With the right positive frame of mind, getting a spanking can be a powerfully wonderful experience. Think about how your perspective can change things: Being up high can be just another day for a skyscraper construction worker, thrilling for a skydiver, and terrifying for most other people--does your mind interpret the situation and hormones that your body creates in response to the situation as fear or excitement?