I'm 25 yrs. Old and my brother is 36
years old. My brother has been on crack
since I can remember. I've always been
there for my brother no matter what. I
had a kid at age 17 and needed my brother,
but he was no where to be found. I have
recently had another baby and had to deal
with a dramatic experience. He actually
was clean and sober (doesn't happen often)
and was there for the delivery of my
second child. He remained clean and sober
for the next month and helping me out, but
as usual he went back to the streets. I'm
tired of it and with all the dramatic
issues arising in my life and the stresses
with everyday issues of survival and
decided I can't do it anymore and turned
my back on him letting him know that I
love him but he's on his own now and if he
really wanted to become clean and sober he
was going to have to do it by himself and
when he got there and has been there he
can come back into my kids and I lives.
Our mother recently moved to alabama
because she couldn't bare to keep going
through it with him. I love my brother
dearly, but I am feeling guilty and
thinking that turning my back on him is a
mistake. Treatment after treatment, going
to jail time and time again, lost his
kids, lost opportunities for full
scholarships, twice and he's so
intelligent. Did I make the right
decision on turning my back, please help
and don't know what I will do if I loose
my brother and he looses the battle with
crack
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yogahoneybunny
Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 888 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-16-07 04:58am
I can understand your worry, frustration,
and concern. My only advice is to keep
your heart warm and open to your brother,
but allow time and his actions to
determine the amount of contact you have.
If he's using, forget reason. He's
going on impulse and addiction. If he's
clean, use discrimination and small
indicators for growth that will show you
how to slowly get involved in his life.
Unfortunately a man on crack is not
thinking about anything other than his
fix. Loving sometimes means wishing for
the best but taking care of yourself. It
sounds like you're doing the tough, best
thing for yourself. Let us know how
you're doing.
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why me
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2007 Posts: 6 Location: Oregon
Posted: 01-16-07 13:03pm
leehartweber
wrote:
i can understand your worry,
frustration, and concern. My only
advice is to keep your heart warm and open
to your brother, but allow time and his
actions to determine the amount of contact
you have. If he's using, forget reason.
He's going on impulse and addiction.
If he's clean, use discrimination and
small indicators for growth that will show
you how to slowly get involved in his
life. Unfortunately a man on crack is
not thinking about anything other than his
fix. Loving sometimes means wishing for
the best but taking care of yourself.
It sounds like you're doing the tough,
best thing for yourself. Let us know
how you're
doing.
thank you for your feedback. You put it
in away I have never thought about so
again thank you. I well definately keep
you updated.
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yogahoneybunny
Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 888 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Dealing With Brother's Addiction Posted: 02-14-07 09:04am
So, how's it going dealing with brother's
addiction?
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jessica12345
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 10-30-07 18:55pm
I am in the same situation. My brother
lived on the streets for many years, in
and out of jail, addicted to everything
including heroin, cocaine and crack. I
was ALWAYS there for him when he needed
me, but also kept my life my own and had
boundaries. He is now clean, healthy and
happy and in therapy. His pyschiatrist
told me that she believes that he would be
dead if he did not have the support system
from me. Don't let him take advantage of
you but also be there for him when he
needs you (if he asks for money, buy him
food and clothes instead of giving him
money directly). Most importantly dont
give up on him!
