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...20 Yrs On Crack

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why me

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2007
Posts: 6
Location: Oregon
...20 Yrs On Crack
Posted: 01-16-07 03:42am

I'm 25 yrs. Old and my brother is 36 years old. My brother has been on crack since I can remember. I've always been there for my brother no matter what. I had a kid at age 17 and needed my brother, but he was no where to be found. I have recently had another baby and had to deal with a dramatic experience. He actually was clean and sober (doesn't happen often) and was there for the delivery of my second child. He remained clean and sober for the next month and helping me out, but as usual he went back to the streets. I'm tired of it and with all the dramatic issues arising in my life and the stresses with everyday issues of survival and decided I can't do it anymore and turned my back on him letting him know that I love him but he's on his own now and if he really wanted to become clean and sober he was going to have to do it by himself and when he got there and has been there he can come back into my kids and I lives. Our mother recently moved to alabama because she couldn't bare to keep going through it with him. I love my brother dearly, but I am feeling guilty and thinking that turning my back on him is a mistake. Treatment after treatment, going to jail time and time again, lost his kids, lost opportunities for full scholarships, twice and he's so intelligent. Did I make the right decision on turning my back, please help and don't know what I will do if I loose my brother and he looses the battle with crack Crying
or Very sad Crying
or Very sad Crying
or Very sad
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yogahoneybunny

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Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 888
Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
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Posted: 01-16-07 04:58am

I can understand your worry, frustration, and concern. My only advice is to keep your heart warm and open to your brother, but allow time and his actions to determine the amount of contact you have. If he's using, forget reason. He's going on impulse and addiction. If he's clean, use discrimination and small indicators for growth that will show you how to slowly get involved in his life. Unfortunately a man on crack is not thinking about anything other than his fix. Loving sometimes means wishing for the best but taking care of yourself. It sounds like you're doing the tough, best thing for yourself. Let us know how you're doing.
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why me

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2007
Posts: 6
Location: Oregon

Posted: 01-16-07 13:03pm

leehartweber wrote:
i can understand your worry, frustration, and concern. My only advice is to keep your heart warm and open to your brother, but allow time and his actions to determine the amount of contact you have. If he's using, forget reason. He's going on impulse and addiction. If he's clean, use discrimination and small indicators for growth that will show you how to slowly get involved in his life. Unfortunately a man on crack is not thinking about anything other than his fix. Loving sometimes means wishing for the best but taking care of yourself. It sounds like you're doing the tough, best thing for yourself. Let us know how you're doing.


thank you for your feedback. You put it in away I have never thought about so again thank you. I well definately keep you updated.
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yogahoneybunny

Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 888
Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Dealing With Brother's Addiction
Posted: 02-14-07 09:04am

So, how's it going dealing with brother's addiction?
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jessica12345

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2007
Posts: 3

Posted: 10-30-07 18:55pm

I am in the same situation. My brother lived on the streets for many years, in and out of jail, addicted to everything including heroin, cocaine and crack. I was ALWAYS there for him when he needed me, but also kept my life my own and had boundaries. He is now clean, healthy and happy and in therapy. His pyschiatrist told me that she believes that he would be dead if he did not have the support system from me. Don't let him take advantage of you but also be there for him when he needs you (if he asks for money, buy him food and clothes instead of giving him money directly). Most importantly dont give up on him!
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