I'm Afraid of His Rage... Posted: 01-12-07 14:05pm
My boyfriend is a good person from a
family of a lot of angry people. I love
him to death, and he's usually a very
selfless, romantic, compassionate
individual, but he has a temper sometimes,
despite the fact that he says he never
wants to be like his family. Whenever
he gets angry, he says the cruelest things
that hurts me more than anything and he
seems like a completely different
person.
After lots of my own tears being shed, he
usually comes around and apologizes, but I
don't want to hear sorry anymore. I want
him to learn how to realize there's no use
getting angry over certain things or that
he should deal with his fury in different
ways rather than yelling. I don't know
how much more of these rounds of anger I
can take before he finally learns.
It really does frighten me the way he gets
when he's mad, and I don't want to be
afraid of him. I told him that, and he
says it kills him that he could make me
feel that way. I know he doesn't want
to hurt me like that, but I don't know
what I can do to help him channel his
anger into something else rather than
taking it out all on me.
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flipper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2006 Posts: 134 Location: Texas
Thanks: 2
Thanked:2
Posted: 01-17-07 16:51pm
He sounds like he could use a counselor's
advice on dealing with his anger. It
sounds scary to me that he directs it at
you.
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cinderellaaa
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2007 Posts: 40 Location: LA
Posted: 04-23-07 23:18pm
Oh, my dear its so common in men to get
angry, maybe its out of his nature and he
cant control it, if u love him try to deal
with it , so when he comes 2 anger and
start 2 lsoe his temper try 2 sooth him
with nice words and smile in his face.
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Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 04-26-07 11:33am
When couples fight, that does not mean
respect goes out the window. Even if you
are angry, name calling, and bringing up
old issues are just wrong. Violent
behaviour in any form is also a no no.
Set rules to ensure mutual respect is
kept. No name calling is a good place to
start, and go from there.
Side note, if this is just a boyfriend
ditch him, save yourself time, and move on
to a more perfect guy. There are many
fish in the sea, do not think there is
only one mr right. There are many perfect
matches, maybe different, but they all
make a perfect fit.
You decide, is he worth the trouble or
not. But do not put up with abuse in any
form. People deserve better.
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3963 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 129
Thanked:12
Posted: 04-26-07 19:22pm
Emotional abuse is a precursor to physical
violence. You may be on a razor's edge.
Excusing him with "oh, all men get angry"
(cinderellaa) is unacceptable. Like
Makoto says, getting angry does not mean
all respect goes out the window.
Get him anger management, and drop him
unless he goes.
