Hello (Page 1)

So I got home today! I was there for so long because of some problems me and her were having with the breastfeeding. I won't go into details just now but the two most important things to know is, she's extremely fussy (they called it having "a personality" but really, she's just so pissed off always) and she's a cluster feeder. So I spent most nights trying to feed her, and she'ld get so upset if I broke her latch even once to try and fix it that she'ld get soooo worked up and scream until she was too upset to feed. Then when she's on the boob she'll suck for a couple minutes and fall right asleep. Wake up in a bit, get really pissed and scream her head off, feed for a couple of minutes... And so on. I spent yesterday from 3:00-8:30 doing this with her. She just gets sooo mad. I also tried waking her up every two hours to feed her but she'll fall right asleep without eating. She eats all night and when I try to make a routine at which to feed her during the days she won't have it. I try to get her uncomfy, naked, change her, wet her face with a wet cloth when she falls back asleep but nothing works. I spent sooo many hours with the lactritionist at the hospital. It's been so frustrating and I ended up bawling and feeling like such a failure and I gave her some formula in a cup a couple times after hours of battling it out with her, when I just couldn't do it anymore, and I bawled the whole time she drank the formula because I felt like I was putting crap into her little body but I had no idea when else to do. I've started pumping though and hopefully this will sort itself out in a while. The nurses said they were very surprised to see me stick with it, that 90 percent of people would have given up. Every time it's been hours and I haven't slept i'm so tempted to go make her a bottle but i'm battling it out and really determined! It's been a lot of crying though. (she's on my boob right now though and doing really good). Guess I did give you details. Haha...
Anyways, I was induced at 6 am and I had her by 12:34 (one two three four, neat eh!). Which I hear is very fast especially for a first baby. I handled it pretty well until about 11ish and then the contractions really starting hurting, I was surprised but breathing exercises really worked to help the contractions at first. I had demerol and laughing gas and it didn't really take the pain away but it made me feel happier about the pain. I had a shot of demerol (i thought normally it came in ivs) and it wore off towards the end, and it was hell, and I wanted an epidural but afterwards I was so glad I didn't have one. I only had to push I think about three times (my mom says 6 or 7 times but I think it was less) I really don't remember that much of the labour. I remember saying I had to go pee and having no one listen to me and ripping off the belly monitors and like stumping to the bathroom dragging my iv, and it ends up I didn't have to pee after all. I got two stitches. The funny thing is the next day my throat really hurt and I thought it was because of the hospital air being dry but then today I realized it was because I was screaming so loud. I'll give you guys some pictures, and I won't bother with the myspace thing because it seems a bit silly to do that extra work.


Now, the basics!



.Rowan .Sophia
born .Jan 5th at 12:34 am (one two three four, neat eh!)
exactly 9lbs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
22.5 "

thank you all very much for thinking about me, really.