I am at a breaking point that I have not felt in a while and it hurts just as bad as ever. I have been good in fact great friends with this guy for almost three years. We have had each others back in other relationships. He was always there for me and I was there to listen to him even though he never really seemed to need me. Just recently he told me that since we met he had a crush on me and didnt say anything because I was always with someone and he was the "listener" not wanting to ruin our friendship. I was happy to hear that he respected me for that long and I have always been able to come to him with all my problems no matter what they involved. But now things are different, we have kissed and we hang out every weekend even though he moved almost 1.5 hours away due to a new job. We have not slept together but just this last week when I told him finally that I liked him and will love him forever I just have not really pushed for anything to happen, unlike him. I guess that I have seen him as a big borther for so long that I didnt think that I could be more with him. Beginning the new year he has like thi snew girl in town and hse is beautiful and so skinny (not that I am fat but she I like barbie) and I find myself so heart broken and sad when he talks about hanging out with her. His calls are less and now he seems to not want to hear about my problems as much and never invites me to come to his place as often. I feel like I am chasing him now and that I swore I would never do. I am in college and could have plenty of guys up here, but I find myself missing him. Many of the things his does is shady like telling me this girl has no interest in him but every chance he gets they are off together. I am there one night and he want sto kiss and tells me how much he loves me still and how beautiful I am. That he wishes more than anything to have me forever and marry me to give me everything I deserve, but the nexy day after I leave he is out with her. He does call me afte rhe gets home to say goodnight but I just dont know hwo to go about still hanging out with him and wanting to kiss him knowing that he likes both of us. I feel this is high school caca and we have so much history and I trust him with everything I have when I come to him with issues, but I knwo that he doesnt fully open up to me:( we are to hang out this weekend, but I had to ask if he wanted to hang out and all he seems to say is that "sure if you want to come down you know you are always more than welcome" well when I am there I feel like I sometimes dont belong. If he kissed her I know that he would not tell me and since we are not together do I have that right to get angry. Should I still hang out with him and cuddle with him in bed when I stay there. I mean he has liked me for three years and since he got a kiss and innocent foundling out of me is he just content now? Did he reach a goal or something or did he move on. I am not going to share a guy!!! I just need advice from experiecened women and not these college young girls that say screw him. We were such great friends and still are I just fear what we crossed that lie and cant ever be the same again just like I told him. How do I talk to him this weekend and tell him hw I feel without him sighing or thinking I am just over analyzing everyhing, which I have been known to do. I know from the past that you cant change someone or make them something you want, I just wish that he would express how much he wants me there if he does. If we got together I would want to feel more loved than ever and I would need to hear certain things that I am afraid he cant or wont say at this point. I just want to sit him down sobering and tell him that I know we arent together but it is breaking my heart that he is with her or hanging out with her even if it is innocent. I am tired of being one of the guys and I dont want to feel used!!!!
I am so sorry that was so long really I am jsut want everyone to knwo the facts so I can get a better explanation of what to do.