Money

Hi..
Maybe I wouldn't give her money if it was me.. Because if I was suspicious of anythng, like you are, I wouldn't think that would be the best decision.. It couls make her ask you again and then ask you for more.. :s it's a tough one..

It is tough cos she asks my sister (ollie, 20) aswell...And previously she's actually taken a large sum of money from my sister's savings which she keeps in her room. Also, if we try not to give her money she bites our heads off. Like just now actually, she came here (to our house, she doesn't live here anymore) and wanted money for lunch.

Ollie (other sister) gave her £4 - that's enough for a supermarket lunch. Kate (bulimic sister) said it wasn't but ollie wouldn't give her anymore. She got really angry and stormed out, slamming the door.

It puts me and ollie in a difficult position cos my parents would not be pleased to know she's taking money from us but if we tell them, then they'll tell kate off and that'll get me and ollie into trouble with kate for telling our parents. Does that make any sense?


Anyway, ollie and kate's relationship really isn't good cos kate thinks she's really on my parents side which she isn't...We both try to support kate as much as we can but she still sees ollie as this "evil" person cos she sometimes refuses her money. Ollie sticks up for kate so much when my parents are angry at kate. I feel sorry for everyone in this situation and I don't know who's more in the right it's so confusing. To be honest, kate's issue with food has caused a lot of problems in my family...And a lot of tension, hurt, upset, money issues. There's nothing I can do about it but it feels good to talk to you guys on here, so thanks.

What do you think she wants this money for? Can she be spending it in some sort of addiction? :\
well.. When she asks you money to eat, one thing that you can do it go lunch with her and pay. This way, she'll be obliged to do what she said she would (have lunch) and your money will be paying it.

Nah, food is her addiction. Two days ago she took £20 from me and my sister...£10 each. That should at least have lasted 3 days but today she wants money again!

I can't go to lunch with her cos it just disrupts my day...I shouldn't have to do that anyway. Going to the supermarket with my 23 year old sister...Accompanying her, i'd feel like her carer or something

But at least she would be controlled... You could do that for the sake of the time with her, tell her that you want to spend some time with her when you get the chance. :\ not to really control her, but to control her that time only.. Sometimes it's better. Sometimes I wish I had someone controlling me and not letting me eat as much as I do...

I guess so but to be honest...Hers and my daily schedules dont really fit together very neatly. She works, i'm at school...It's tough to find the time for that.

She'd still eat the same amount anyway, I think it's more about the money but anyway...

good luck on that, then... I hope you find another way of helping her without those issues!