Hello,
that is a bad situation, by the sounds of it. I feel for you. My advice to you is simple; require him to receive anger management. It sounds as though he understands that yelling at you and throwing things is no way to treat a woman; appeal to his apparent rationality on this matter. Tell him exactly how you feel when he does these things to you, and the turmoil that it causes in you. Explain this and then require that he attend anger management classes if he wants to continue to see you. Explain that this is your final effort to save what could be a loving relationship. There is a good book available to resolve such problem. The book is “ten days to a good marriage” by Dr. Max vogt
nevada city, california. You can have a look at it edit it deals a lot about behavioral science.


I know what it is like to have a temper; I too have shouted at my girlfriend in the past. Do not internalize this anger! It has absolutely nothing to do with you or your actions. When angry people (like I can be) get mad it is our own fault. We have to own it.

Be sensitive, but do not debase yourself. Set a high standard for yourself. If he refuses to reach that standard, I think you should end the relationship.

Please, do not feel worthless. He is not angry with you because you are a disappointment, believe me. He is angry because you represent something that he feels he needs. You represent something that, I would guess, he has never had. When you, this person that he needs so badly, even seems to move away from him (by making friends, etc) he panics. Then he gets angry. Be sensitive to this, but do not coddle it. To heal a situation like this, you both need to be willing to work on it. If he is not willing, end it.

I hope I was able to help somewhat, good luck with your man.

Wow seems like you are dealing with a handful! Sorry to hear that. I agree that you need to talk to him about your feelings, and stress to him that you were in a bad spot before and afraid of being that way again. I think that he has a problem, and needs to seek help, and you guys need to communicate better, listen to one another, and ask is that what you meant or what are you saying, ask those questions. I agree that "guys" are very hard to talk to, they think they know it all, and there always right, but work on it girl, and do what you feel is the right thing! You know your husband if you feel he is worth it, work it out! Good luck to you.


Hugs.
Babydance143

In my opinion, I believe that you should tell him that due to him realising he has a problem, that he needs to get therapy for it before you can consider being with him. Girl, its not worth wasting your life feeling scared and not knowing the next time hes going to "flip out".

I really hope that things have gotten better, let us know how you are!!

Love,

.Mel

Take it from a reforming abuser. If he knows he has a problem and hasn't gotten help yet he's not going to. Get out now before you get sucked in anymore. Nobody desreves to be treated that way especially by someone who"loves" you.

"maybe" you should end it now??

Like now!!! Pronto!! No one... and I repeat noone.. should *ever* be treated in such a way!!!! Trust me.. I know what you are going though. He doesn't hit you now... but throwing things, and ranting like a raving fool- that would only be the next step. You really want to wait around and see if he does?

That is insane of him to be so frickin' selfish- you can't have friends? I bet he belittles you too, trying to mask it by turning it into a joke- when in all actuality- he means what he says. Makes you question every thought or idea that comes into your mind, huh? Verbal abuse... is just as bad as physically. You shouldn't have to worry if dinner is on the table.. he's a grown man- once in awhile he should be able to fend for himself.
You are trying to rescue a mutt that cannot be. It will be hard- and scary. You've got to get out. Go back to your familie's house- to a friends house-blot and don't look back. You are you-- you do not have to take this .B.S...period! Sounds very controlling to me...and I've realized.. you cannot save everyone all the time. Some people cannot be saved. And what about you? Do you dread him coming home? I did... and I've had too. He was trying to control and fit me into his lifestyle. 3 months in.. it was like lockdown. Ironically- when I signed a 1 yr lease with him for an apartment- literally right after I signed- that is what he said- "I've got you in lockdown now!" I thought he was kidding!!!

If he hasn;t done anything... you think he's ever going to? If he truely valued you.. he would have- at least for himself if anyone! I'm glad you recongize it is an unhealthy relationship...you've done all you could have done--- muster up and get out.

You can leave- it is better- and will be even more. The sun will start to shine a bit more.. we are all here to talk to you You came on here for a reason. To make sure, this was abnormal.. it is. It's wrong, and unfair. Like I've told Melissa- He needs his b@lls taped to his face- then punch him

You are entitled to your feelings. Get out!

-=Reds=- ps feel free to pm

i agree with missdepressed - we all know what we are talking about. please get out. verbal abuse can lead to physical abuse. you need validation and will never get it from him. you are an individual not someone created in his mind. i know it hurts but please leave before you are really hurt. we are here for you and it may hurt at first but you should be the most important person in your life. you certainly are not in his.
you can pm me anytime if you'd like. i don't have all the answers but i have been where he is.