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Q: Having a Hard Time... Please Advice
asked by: water lily on January 6th, 2007
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
I am not sure why I am posting on this site… I think I just need some advice from people who have gone through the same thing…

i have never been one to put myself first and I have never wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings… I have for the past 2 months really been thinking about me future and what I want… I have been with my fiancé for 6 years and I am not sure if I should marry him… I do love him but I feel like if I choose to marry him I will be sacrificing myself and will end up hurt in the future. I have been in denial for some time now… as an outsider please advice… my fiancé has a son and has cheated on me with his child’s mother about three years ago… this is something that I can’t seem to forgive or forget… and because of it I do not trust him… he is pursuing a career in music and has been away for 6 months now and I have to just not think about what he is doing day to day. I have always wanted to have children and since the beginning my fiancé has changed his mind about it 100 times. I had enough called it off about 4 months ago but he convinced me that I will get my family someday… in a conversation a few weeks ago he could not give me any sort of time line on when we will get married and start a family. I have been really digging deep to see if I want him to be the father of my children… I have a really strong feeling that he does not really want to have more children and that he will prolong it until it’s too late. I really want my husband to want a family as much as I do. If I was guaranteed that breaking up with him would not hurt him I would do it in a second… and now realizing that he will never break up with me it’s all on me… I am having a hard time figuring out what to do and it really hurts that he has no idea something’s wrong…
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Spirit replied on January 7th, 2007
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Just ask yourself................And be honest.......................Does this person make you happy?Does your heart sing with joy whenever you think about him?...............................Or are you reduced to tears?..............Because of past/present hurts.....................Cause he always leaves you guessing as to where you stand in the relationship?............................. ...

.......................I think you know the answer.................................Rel ationships are about growing together and having fun...............................Not emotional beating the cr*p out of each other Smile
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lil_blaze2004 replied on January 7th, 2007
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Spirit, you need to stop typing like ............ It's really hard to read.


Anyhoo, sounds to me like you don't really want to marry him. If you're having all these doubts and trust issue then it is really not the best way to start out a marriage. After 6 yrs and still no wedding i'd say he doesn't really want to marry you either. I'd be questioniong it too. There was a "dr. Phil show" on this the other day, check his site and see if you can watch the back episodes or soemthing. It was thursday I think.

Best of luck to you!
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