Loosing My Marriage Because of Premature Ejaculation Posted: 01-04-07 23:40pm
Sad to say it but i’m living the worse
nightmare that a man can have. I've been
married for 8 years, and for the past 2
years i’ve been suffering from premature
ejaculation. It all started when a few
time that I lost control because my wife
would last like two weeks without saving
sex with me. So since I was so horny,
like any normal guy I would ejaculate
earlier than usual.
things were not that bad at the moment
until one day when I started feeling
pressure and I was afraid to ejaculate
before her. For what I remember the
problem would come and go for a while, but
every time we last a while without having
sex my little buddy would fail.
To make the long story short, me and my
wife were still making love like a normal
couples even with my little problem. But
things started getting out of hand, when I
noticed she started getting mad when I
ejaculate before her (i know its bad but I
couldn't hold it). Since I know my thing
would fail I used to please her with my
mouth first, she would come with no
problem, but when the time of penetration
I felt so much pressure and even worse
when I know she gets mad if I don't please
her.
One day I decided to go away to see if
that could fix our problem or at least
feel better and not the pressure I was
feeling. I took a 10 days vacation and
left her home, when I came back I was so
horny that I was about to loose control
again. In that moment I stopped and told
her what I was feeling, including the
pressure that she puts on me when she gets
mad when I come before her. After we
spoke like a real couples I felt so much
better and we started making love again
and this time I lasted like 25 mins.
Since that day I started to last way
longer than before, 10 - 15 minutes the
minimum, we were the happiest couples
ever. :d :d
our happiness lasted until she got her
period and we lasted like a week without
having sex and I lost control. She got
so mad and started telling me "are you
going to start with that caca again?". I
didn't know what to do, I felt so bad and
guilty for loosing control again. After
that day, we would last like a month
without making love because she was scared
that I would bust before her. That was
affecting me even more, and to make it
worse one day she was drunk and was
telling me "you suck on bed". Imagine
how bad I was feeling listening to those
words.
our marriage was going down, down and
down. Now she would go to sleep facing
to the wall and giving me her back.
We haven't had sex for three months now,
just because she feels unsecured and
afraid to have sex with me. I feel that
my problem is because of her, and I
learned that it's all psychological. I
been trying to speak to her and telling
her that she has to put her part help me,
but she denied and just said that "she's
tired of the same caca".
I told her that my resolution for new year
was to break up with her if she doesn't
change. I guess that's what she wants,
i’m planning to break up with her by the
end of the month. I can't take this any
more, she's making my life so miserable.
I know I can fix my problem but it will
never be with her. I feel afraid to even
ask her to have sex with me, I lost my
confidence and I hope one day I can get it
back.
This is the worse life a man can live,
especially if you’re married with a
person and also if you love and care for
that person like I do.
Any advices would be really helpful at
this time.
|
Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3943 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 121
Thanked:12
Re: Loosing My Marriage Because of Premature Ejaculation Posted: 01-05-07 19:15pm
Yeah, I got something...
Go with your gut, dump your wife.
Seriously. She is not supportive, you
are afraid to have sex with her, she
blames you entirely and is not willing to
help you through it, she gets po'd if you
don't please her, she talks about how bad
you are in bed, she is utterly
unsupportive...This is not a
marriage....This is abuse.
Although on the other hand, you did have
that conversation with her and things
changed, although briefly. There is
hope there to salvage the relationship.
I highly recommend family therapy before
you divorce. You might get something
out of it, even if it is "only" the
understanding that you don't have to live
with someone who is like this.
|
fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Posted: 01-05-07 21:16pm
Hey, i'm sorry to hear about this trouble
you're having.
Well my knowlege of your situation is
limited to what is written in your post,
so it's hard to know what to say, but here
goes.
I think maybe a lot of the trouble is in
fact not even about the sex itself, but
about the communication. It sounds like
you've both said regrettable things to
each other out of defensiveness or anger,
without really getting to the core of the
problem and sorting it out.
I suspect the reason your wife has said
these nasty things to you is because she
doesnt realise the seriousness of the
situation. It hasn't really sunk in with
her that this is actually a problem of
yours - it's an issue that is sensitive to
you and which brings you shame. Trying
to see things from her perspective, I
wonder if she simply thinks you've stopped
caring about her pleasure. I wonder if
she misses the intimacy and now feels
used. I wonder if she feels frustrated
because she wants things to be like they
used to be. When people feel this way I
guess they often lash out with comments or
insults that they havent really thought
through, and probably dont mean. It
sounds like the things she's said are a
bitter attempt to try and get you to see
things how they are for her. But she
needs to see how things are for you,
too.
The most important thing to do is talk to
each other. Communicating, and
communicating articulately, is the best
way to make progress. If she doesnt
understand how you feel in all this - tell
her. And ask her how she feels about the
situation and try and resolve this through
calm, honest conversation. However, if
you've already done this many times and
you've reassured her that your pe doesnt
stem from selfishness, and you've told her
you want to work things out and make
things better, and she's .S.T.I.L.L
stubbornly refusing to help you resolve
things then I guess you need to review
where you guys stand.
The fact that she hasn't left you over
this suggests optimism to me that deep
down, beneath her anger and frustration
she wants to work things out too. I
guess you just need to get through that
wall of bad feeling and hopefully you'll
be able to get back to how things used to
be. I wish you the vert best of luck,
and keep us posted on how it goes.
|
justasecret
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2006 Posts: 5 Location: New York
Posted: 01-15-07 16:12pm
Hello guys, thank you for taking the time
to read my post and for those who answered
I really appreciated.
While reading the post from fiona05 I
founded the comment below very
interesting.
fiona05
wrote:
the fact that she hasn't left you over
this suggests optimism to me that deep
down, beneath her anger and frustration
she wants to work things out too. I
guess you just need to get through that
wall of bad feeling and hopefully you'll
be able to get back to how things used to
be. I wish you the vert best of luck,
and keep us posted on how it
goes.
thanks to this comment I was able to
change my mind and talk to my wife.
It’s been almost two weeks after I
posted this post and my life has change
for good. Me and my wife were able to
fix our problems and we are now very happy
with each other. We had sex two days
after we spoke and it was good, I was able
to last for about 13 minutes and she was
happy and smiling all day long :d :d :d
:d :d.
She's been showing me a lot of love lately
and now she even ask me to have sex with
her. We did it last sunday and it was
also good, I was not worry and did not
felt anxiety inside me, I was just relax
and enjoying the good moment with my
lovely wife. Again I was able to last
10-15 minutes, without counting the
foreplay, which I lasted like 5 minutes
making her come with my mouth.
Thanks to this forum I got my wife back
and my marriage is back to normal or even
better because we are planning to start
making a baby next week. :d :d :d :d :d
:d
fiona05, I owe you one!!!!!
I'll keep you guys posted on the progress
of my pe problems, which I hope to get rid
of it now once and for all.
Bye....
|
fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Posted: 01-15-07 19:07pm
Wow, i'm really glad to see you are so
happy now and have worked things out. I
think communication is the best way to
work through problems. So if anything
like this crops up again, that's what I
think you should do. Make sure you know
what she is thinking and she knows what
you are thinking. You don't want to
spend months or years arguing over a
misunderstanding!
Think about it. If she didn't love you
she wouldn't have been so concerned and so
upset and angry at not being able to have
a satisfying sex life with you. I think
all the things she said to you were out of
hurt. I say this because when you told
me what she had said, it reminded me so
much of something I might say if I was
hurt.
I'm really happy that you are happy again.
And I wish you the very best of luck for
your future together with your wife :d
:d :d :d :d :d
:d
