Ok so it all started in mid 11th grade
when my friend offerd me these 2 30 mg
adderall xrs at school in the morning and
ask if I wanted to try them . I asked
him wat they did and some other people and
all they told me was that it makes u feel
mad good and u do liek all ur work and
have fun doing it . So I was thinkin
how could that be fun ? So I poped thr
60 mgs thinkin that nothin rly was gonna
happen , until about 30 mins and I felt so
amazing I was talkin like a milllllllllion
miles per hour movin around basicly had a
great day. I started usin it like once
every 2 weeks or so which lead to my
ciggerate addiction. Started smokin pot
a lot like everyday and then I got
prescribed adderall thinking I would only
take the recomend dose and itl help me
start doing better agian . That worked
untill summer time where id dmoke pot
every day take at least 30 mgs of addy
every day and sometimes id pop some extra
her eand there everythig was goin ok until
school this year started I messed up my
1st quarter avg cause I enver did work
cause I was stoned all the time and then I
told my mom I didntwanan take adderall any
more so she stoped getin the prescribtions
but there was still a lot of pills left
aroud nthe house anyway so for the past 3
months I have been smokin pot like
everyday, gettin shitfaced drunk at least
2 times a week and going on like 3 day
adderall binges like 80 mgs at a time or
more every week . Hmm letss see I did
extasy 3 times in the past 3 weeks , usaly
when I dont take my adderall now I do
other things like vicodin or somthing
which is bad and I feel bad . Al lthe
extra adderalls are gone so for the past 3
days iv been taken some ritalin but that
sucks its nothing like my adderall all
ritalin does is make me think everyoens
out to get me and makes me feel really
nervouse, and all my moms ativan is gone
as b/c iv been using those to get to
sleep after a day on adderall. Nothing
is the same any more , I wish I could be
how I was in 9th and 10th grade , happy
all the for normal reasons be bale to
laugh and liek really mean it , nothing
does it for me any more I have no future
im never happy and I need some help from
u guys or somthin show me that im not a
lone or give me some advice plssssssss the
deppression makes living
suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
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shadowalker164
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 175 Location: Tampa, FL
Posted: 01-03-07 11:15am
Dutchmaster you said… “nothing is the
same any more”
that may be more true in that statement
than you realize. We put ourselves on the
other side of how it used to be in our
lives with our drugging and drinking. And
we can’t go back to the way it used to
be. We have to move forward. There
really isn’t anything else.
The old you is in the past, the new you is
what you need to focus on. In order to
get on with your life without chemical
augmentation, you will need to do some
things you may not want to do. Your
friends aren’t going to get you clean,
they can’t. If they are using, they are
like poison to you. Stay away from active
using. Find a new set of people, like
you, who are trying to stay clean just for
today.
Try looking in the rooms of alcoholics
anonymous or narcotics anonymous. There
are people who understand exactly where
you are right now, and moreover have a
program in their lives that offers hope.
Just show up and audit a meeting or two.
Listen to their stories and see if what
they have may be applied in your life.
What do you have to lose?
Richard
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dutchmaster89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Dec 2006 Posts: 6 Location: NY
Posted: 01-03-07 22:31pm
Thanx , but I cant just not ahng oujt with
my friends b/c iv been there friends for
liek ever but there not really as bad as
iam , they mostl,y smoke pot and drink ,
while I liek think to my self everyday how
life was like before heavy stimulates like
I think damn how do people function and
stuff with out it but then aigan its wats
bringing me down which is the wierd part.
I dont know any more I feeeel like there
no future . Whenever someone asks wel wat
are u intrests if u dont know wat u wanan
goto school for wat could I say my
intrestes are ? Smokin pot ? Speeidin
listieng to music ? Getting drunk ?
Having sex ? Doin e ? I also always feel
soicaly disconnected with people more
recently even my freinds .
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shadowalker164
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 175 Location: Tampa, FL
Posted: 01-04-07 13:10pm
I remember when I couldn’t imagine life
with the drugs of my choice, and I
couldn’t imagine life with them either.
I was screwed! That my friend is the
stepping off point. When it gets bad
enough, we will make any deal with the
devil to make the pain stop.
Just remember dutch, nothing changes until
something changes. If you change nothing
about your life, you will keep getting
what you are getting right now.
