Hi, I know what you're talking about. I too have a very supportive family but nothing they said or did helped. I'll be totally honest here, I thought many times about taking my life. I woke up crying and when I actually slept it was only after crying myself to sleep. Finally I fell apart during a doctors appointment and opened up to the doc and she put me on zoloft. I can't bebieve the difference. You're not psycho or crazy! It could very well be a chemical imbalance in your brain! I thought I was going nuts too. All I ever did was cry and I hated myself. Now I feel so much better and very rarely do I cry anymore. Sure life has it's downers, but they're a lot easier to handle now. Please, get some help. It's worth it. Good luck!

Its good to know someone understands. I just came back from the doctors and got efexor (anitidepressants) but I dont think I will take them because of the weight gain. That will just make me more depressed.

Kase: please, please, please talk to your doctor again. That was one of my biggest concerns. I told her I would not take any medication that would aid in my weight gain. There are other medications out there that are ok, one of them is wellbutrin. I have been taking that with prozac and haven't gained anything. The med's can really help you feel better. Almost everyone will tell you that the med's & therapy go hand-in-hand. If you can, please seek a therapist as well.

Hello,
I think that you should talk to some counselor too. Some people get depressed for no personal reason. It just the hormones that isn't balanced right so they give them anti-depressant to level it up with your daily routine. Anyway... Im 17 and I get that way too but only during winter because its not fun and its boring season. Um theres alot of reason for me to be depress but its not that severe. If you try talking to your boyfriend and your family and maybe they will help you out too.

I dont have that much to say but say I hope I helped.

You can always talk to me online too. Send me a message and I will send back with a nice/great replies.

Hi kase,

if you need to take meds, then take them but I urge you to look into cbt which will teach you tools to help yourself while you are taking them. I was on meds and it was not until I learned the tools taught in cbt that I was able to get off of them and feel great too. Good luck :d

q

i've been on efexor for almost 2 years and I have not gained a pound. It worked well for me, but if you miss days at a time it makes you feel weird and you have to have it to feel normal does that make sense. I stopped crying over everything it made me feel almost normal again..L

Have at least thought of trying an herbal like st. Johns wart, I think is what is supposed to work for that. I know a lot of people who went through much of the same at your age. You definitely should speak with a Dr. But one you can trust, not one who decides after a single session that you need to be on mood altering meds.

Seems like a hasty decision, not necessarily a wrong one, but kind of fast to tell I would think.....

What is cbt?
Thanks everyone for your advice.
Im glad the meds arnt weight gaining. I started taking them yesterday and go to theropist on tuesday. Im hoping everything is going to get better, im just trying to look positive (but its so hard!) still crying a lot, but have been journaling when im upset rather than hurting myself. Sometime3s I read over what I have writen and it makes me more upset, so I just write and draw and then put my journal away.

Im the same way you are. I gat mad over simple stuff and when I always cry. Im 17 and im misserable too. I understand what u r going threw. So just know that u r not alone.

Cbt (i think this is what you were asking about) is "cognitive behavioural therapy" which is a fancy way of saying that it teaches you to have a more optimistic view on the world.

I have been depressed for many years and been on various medications. When cbt was suggested I thought it was crap and that trying to convince myself everything was great was to live a lie, but after doing 8 weeks of cbt I learnt that there is good and bad in life (simple but true) and not to let the weight of the world crush us.

It is a way to setup an automatic response, like you already have now, except that it will be an optimistic response! An automatic way to deal with the pain of self-doubt, self-hatred and criticism and replace them with possitive and uplifting thoughts.

Talk to your doctor, counsellor, mental health professional about cbt. Maybe it can be of help for you also.

Please remember, that even if you feel alone, there are always people who care about you, you just have to let them know you need them.

Hello sweetheart, I feel you. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. And I am not exaggerating. It is a terrible thing. A friend of mine told her (she has bipolar) that "when a person is born bipolar, they ought to be put out of their misery". He was obviously not suggesting that they be killed or kill themselves, he was simply stating the severity of it in his own words. I have been on prozac, depacode (spelling?) lithium, paxil and now zoloft. This is over many years. When I was a rebellious teen they put me on the first three. The paxil I went on myself for anxiety attacks, but could not take the side affects. Zoloft works great for my depression but does not tackle my anxiety attacks to the level that I need. But I hate trying new meds because they alter your whole way of thinking and I do not want to get a bad one. Anyway, having a supportive family and bf is great. Talk to them. No matter how psycho you feel or think you sound, they love you and are there for you. Depression is an illness. So many people do not see that. They have not proven the whole "chemical imbalance" thing, but by god I believe it. Try to get a med that has low side effects and no weight gain, because, yes, that would only make you feel worse. Good luck dear.

I know how you feel, and then some. I am so depressed I cant take it no more. Been on 6 different antidepressants in the past 2 years. I quit the job I loved. I have no hope. I have no goals, no desires. What can I possibly do, besides the obvious ???????

I know what it is to not know who you are and what your even alive for? I used to think if there was a god he must have made me his "piss pot" because thats how I felt like the world was just pissing all over me!!! From a small child --- I did have some good reason for these thoughts , I wont go into my childhood its to long and sad//// but one day when I reached a very low period and i'd already tried suicide twice, well I just asked god if your real show yourself I really want to know you and then I asked him to show me who he saw me as and who he wanted me to be. Mind you these request did not all come at once, but he has answered each one. And gave me more of life not with out pain, I am still only human and I even get depressed but, when I give it to god it is his and he can handle it , and he does. I will lift your name in prayer to the lord jesus and in his name I ask you to deliver these who suffer here and call on your name, jesus for in your name we have victory and peace amen lily

hi kase,
it looks like sepiroth already gave you an answer on cbt and I agree with all sep said but will give you my slant on it as well. I was busy seeking help and taking meds for years before I accidentally discovered cbt. Cbt is not like other talk therapy. A good cbt therapist knows they cannot change what's already happened to you but they can help you change how you deal with what happens in your life from here on out. In short they teach you tools to keep you from upsetting yourself and it is very effective if you put in the effort to practice the tools which teach you to learn to think more clearly and accurately about things and once you do your anxiety and depression will miraculously begin to lift before your eyes. It has changed my life for the better at a time I was close to giving up. My favorite starter book on cbt is "been there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz and many universities offer cbt programs for little or no charge if you're interested in giving cbt a try.

Take care!

Q

Beleive me! I am the best person to talk to! I know so much and have gone so far! I know what its like to be in your shoes and right now im afraid your at the worst part of it! And being in a relationship im sure isint going to help necause right now you really cant and shouldnt take the judging of other people, it just brings your down even more!

Thankyou so much guys. I havent been here for a while because I thought that I didnt need anyone help because I could do it myself.... Trying to convince myself I am a strong person. I went off my antidepressants 3wks ago because I didnt want to be relient on them and now my whole family think im suicidal.
Things are just as bad as always, last nite I took 12 panadols just to see what might happen... And maybe to get some attention. I also drank so much because I was stressed- and im not a drinker. I lost my licence last nite- drink driving on the way to buy some more panadol. The worse thing is I cant remeber hardly any of it- and when I think of it, I don think it happend. I think to myself, "i would never do that! That isnt me." I feel like there are two personalitys in me and all it takes is for one thing to go wrong to change who I am.
The hospital rang my parents last nite to pick me up. My parents think im suicidal and they make me feel guilty for disapionting them but they're gr8 parents who care so mcuh about me. And I have disapionted them... I disapionted my bf and myself. I hate myself for the way I act. It feels like this nasty woman just comes out of me and I have no control over it at all. Im so stressed and so misrible. Im going to try some other antidepressants tomorrow, but just wish I could be normal... I wish I could be sain. I wish I liked myself.

I have to agree with qt3, you owe it to yourself to give cbt a try. I'm in the ninth week of my cbt group and weaning off drugs and feeling great. The two books we are using in my group are really good and I would recommend them both highly: been there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz and mastery of your anxiety and panic-third edition by michelle craske and david barlow if you suffer panic disorder as well.

Hey. Ummm I understand how you feel. A few years ago I was depressed. Nothing my family said or did helped even though I know they were doing their best to make me feel better. All my friendships deteriorated and I absoloutely hated myself.


After a suicide attempt I was sent to a councellor and to be honest - it didn't help me. I felt too uncomfortable to open my mind to her. I got better by concentrating my mind on other things - for example my work. I also started a diary and believe it or not it actually helped me alot. When I got really depressed I wrote in it and when I read it at a later point i'd realise how stupid i'm being and that I should try to pull myself together. It helps you to put things into perspective in my opinion

i'm still not fully recovered from my depression and I know exactly what it feels like to hate yourself and for others to not understand. I harm myself when I get upset (which also tends to be over small things) and my boyfriend doesn't really understand. I'll tell him i've done it and then he'll say 'promise not to do it again.....'. But teh thing is that I can't promise because it isn't something I can control. My family doesn't help either because my brother uses it against me and says stuff like 'whats wrong with you? You cut yourself....That's not normal jenny' and then my mum says stuff like 'those scars will be there for the rest of your life you know'.


I feel like I have two sides too sometimes - there's the happy clappy strong me which I have to show in order to keep people quiet and not harass me about the un-understandable and then there's the emotional weak me.


You are sane. I don't know if anti-depressants will help you, they didn't help me. But it's worth trying, and this feeling won't last forever =)

i hope i've helped somehow....I think maybe I got a little off topic but you should know that other people understand how you feel and it won't last forever.

Hi kase
i'm 19 years old and believe me I know what your going through somedays I just want to sit and cry for no reason at all i've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have a great life but i'mjust not happy. I know what its like to be sad all the time and exactly what your going through and if you want some to talk to pm me and i'll gladly be that someone.