Well i'm 18 years old now and I don't feel like everyone else. I believe people
find me strange and yet they say there is nothing wrong with me. I don't understand
this as I know I talk really slow and odd. I find it difficult to make eye contact and I
seem to be in my own world most of the time. I like to keep to myself, I love to be
in a room alone behind my computer I don't like sport or anything
like that. I seem to find nothing in common with people at all. I prefer to be around older
people rather than people my own age. When I socialise with anyone outside of my own home,
like I meet someone I don't know what to say to them or how to keep the conversation
going. I do not understand myself either. As a child I was really strange, I would walk
on my toes, stamp on old ladies feet. I used to do mean things to my mother, i've thrown
beer up her, spat at her, threatened to kill myself (knives, jumping out of the window).
I never used to have friends in school either, i've always found socialising very
difficult. Time seems to fly by everyday. I wake up, sit behind my computer then all
of a sudden it's time to sleep again. Though I sleep really strange hours. I even forget
to eat most days. This is a really big problem, as I should now be ready to work but I hate
the idea of work, I don't have any interest in money yet I know it's worth in todays world.
I can't for the life of me understand why people are so stuck up and agressive, maybe it's
just me I can't be sure. I feel like i'm the only one that's right and noone else is, yet
i feel anger when they don't seem to understand what I mean. I say things to people also
which may hurt them, but I don't seem to realise that until afterwords, but then I keep
quiet. I really don't know what's wrong with me but surely this isn't adverage.