I honestly feel that the only solution to my sadness is death. It seems like there is no repairing and i'm screwed up for good. People might say that things are gonna get better and i'm gonna get through it, but they have no proof. They obviously haven't been thinking about how many times tragedies occur, which means that people die before they get to find their happiness. Well, my only realistic dream is to die, so that wouldn't be a tragedy plus I wouldn't be a burden on people's lives. People might say that they don't want me to be killed, but they should think about the fact I wouldn't annoy them anymore. They should think about the fact that I don't contribute to this world and that i'm useless, so why should I have a life in this world? People might say I have a purpose if i'm given life, but people are only given lives to actually find their purpose.

I can't find my purpose. I should've spent my 19 years to find my purpose, but i've been slacking off instead. I should've spent my childhood years preparing and finding definite interests instead of being a fool. That's why nobody likes me: because I have no interests in anything, so I don't know about anything. That's why i'm not good in conversations. I'm just a loser and that's why girls are just scared of me.

I'm in a school where i'm supposed to catch up, but i'm just starting to fail. I miss my first period class because I find to reason to wake up. I just see no reason to try anymore because i'm just so far behind in life. I should've tried a long time ago. That's why the steps of the schooling process takes years. I can't keep up in a year.


I'm a lonely retarded loser failure with low self-esteem and broken dreams.