I honestly feel that the only solution to
my sadness is death. It seems like there
is no repairing and i'm screwed up for
good. People might say that things are
gonna get better and i'm gonna get through
it, but they have no proof. They
obviously haven't been thinking about how
many times tragedies occur, which means
that people die before they get to find
their happiness. Well, my only realistic
dream is to die, so that wouldn't be a
tragedy plus I wouldn't be a burden on
people's lives. People might say that
they don't want me to be killed, but they
should think about the fact I wouldn't
annoy them anymore. They should think
about the fact that I don't contribute to
this world and that i'm useless, so why
should I have a life in this world?
People might say I have a purpose if i'm
given life, but people are only given
lives to actually find their purpose.
I can't find my purpose. I should've
spent my 19 years to find my purpose, but
i've been slacking off instead. I
should've spent my childhood years
preparing and finding definite interests
instead of being a fool. That's why
nobody likes me: because I have no
interests in anything, so I don't know
about anything. That's why i'm not good
in conversations. I'm just a loser and
that's why girls are just scared of me.
I'm in a school where i'm supposed to
catch up, but i'm just starting to fail.
I miss my first period class because I
find to reason to wake up. I just see no
reason to try anymore because i'm just so
far behind in life. I should've tried a
long time ago. That's why the steps of
the schooling process takes years. I
can't keep up in a year.
I'm a lonely retarded loser failure with
low self-esteem and broken dreams.
|
reneblack
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 247 Location: A beautiful place, CA-USA
Re: I Need to Be Gone Posted: 12-14-06 01:01am
aspiration
wrote:
i honestly feel that the
only solution to my sadness is death. It
seems like there is no repairing and i'm
screwed up for good. People might say
that things are gonna get better and i'm
gonna get through it, but they have no
proof. They obviously haven't been
thinking about how many times tragedies
occur, which means that people die before
they get to find their happiness. Well,
my only realistic dream is to die, so that
wouldn't be a tragedy plus I wouldn't be a
burden on people's lives. People might
say that they don't want me to be killed,
but they should think about the fact I
wouldn't annoy them anymore. They should
think about the fact that I don't
contribute to this world and that i'm
useless, so why should I have a life in
this world? People might say I have a
purpose if i'm given life, but people are
only given lives to actually find their
purpose.
I can't find my purpose. I should've
spent my 19 years to find my purpose, but
i've been slacking off instead. I
should've spent my childhood years
preparing and finding definite interests
instead of being a fool. That's why
nobody likes me: because I have no
interests in anything, so I don't know
about anything. That's why i'm not good
in conversations. I'm just a loser and
that's why girls are just scared of me.
I'm in a school where i'm supposed to
catch up, but i'm just starting to fail.
I miss my first period class because I
find to reason to wake up. I just see no
reason to try anymore because i'm just so
far behind in life. I should've tried a
long time ago. That's why the steps of
the schooling process takes years. I
can't keep up in a year.
I'm a lonely retarded loser failure with
low self-esteem and broken
dreams.
please dont go through what I did! About
5% of people in this world care about you
as a good person.
|
rainfallsup
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 9 Location: LaKe CiTy
Posted: 12-15-06 19:09pm
Your losing hope and thats not the answer,
neither is death as you say your still so
young. Its never to late to make your
life better. Take up a hobby. Start
drawing or something, it doesnt sound like
your even trying. Your not a failure,
some one jus needs to boost you up a
little bit. Has any one actually told you
that your a burden. Girls im sure arent
scared of you, you just have to practice
talking to them. Im 17 and I almost hate
talkin to people at times, but you dont
have to be a great conversationalist to
have a conversation. Dont say what you
shoulld have done, do it now. Theres more
people out there than you knoe that fell
the same way as you and dont knoe there
purpose. I dont know why im here, but im
willing to find out. Theres not gonna be
some magical fairy that comes to make your
life better, you have to do it. If theres
anything I can help you message me ill
talk to u.
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 12-15-06 22:55pm
True, I may not know you, but I bet you
that their are a heck of a lot of people
that are worse off then you are, you don't
sound like a retard to me. Have you ever
heard that today is the 1st day for the
rest of my life? What about a new years
resolution? Gosh, you are young! I bet
you have people that really care about
you! Have you ever thought about talking
to a professional about your depression,
you know that you are not alone on this,
their are many people out there who feel
like you do. Start by liking yourself and
you might need a little help, it is
nothing to be ashamed of, I was down and
out for awhile, when I became disabled,
cannnot walk or see very well but I still
function and do what I can and sometimes
it is not easy, I fall and get back up
again. You can get up too, it is not easy
but you can do it! I realize that this
time of year can be rough on a lot of
people also.
|
renee62
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2006 Posts: 5 Location: Florida
Posted: 12-15-06 23:25pm
I understand completely how you feel.
But you are forgetting one thing, how
many people will you be leaving behind
that love you more than you know... They
will spend the rest of their lives trying
to figure out how thy could have stopped
you.....And remember god doesnt make
mistakes....You are always loved......You
will have to work at it, and it wont be
easy. But I bet you can do it..........I
did..................
|
Aspiration
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 01-08-07 22:22pm
Um. Where did all the posts go?
|
reneblack
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 247 Location: A beautiful place, CA-USA
Posted: 01-10-07 11:43am
aspiration
wrote:
um. Where did all the
posts go?
what do you mean? Are you still feeling
down? What can we do to help you? Hope
you feel well?
|
Aspiration
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 01-15-07 01:43am
Yeah, it's a sunday - a relatively boring
day, which is even more boring for me
since my life is boring in general. I
feel stuck with it. Not to mention that I
feel guilty with what I do with my
existence, especially on a sunday. I
guess the boredom makes me think about it.
I don't know.
|
Catt101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 109 Location: ,
Posted: 01-15-07 23:05pm
Depression and boredom arent things that
should be mixed together, finding ur
purpose in life isnt so easy but u cant
give up so easily, I think me and u are
kinda tha same since everytime I get bored
I think the same thing, but dont let it
get to you, you'll find ur purpose soon,
yes sunday is a boring day, go to church
or something, haha I can go into church
with the intention of hurting myself or
being in the worst mood, but I somehow
become so happy, its weird
