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Mental Health > Depression Forum > I Need to Be Gone
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Q: I Need to Be Gone
asked by: Aspiration on December 14th, 2006
New User
I honestly feel that the only solution to my sadness is death. It seems like there is no repairing and i'm screwed up for good. People might say that things are gonna get better and i'm gonna get through it, but they have no proof. They obviously haven't been thinking about how many times tragedies occur, which means that people die before they get to find their happiness. Well, my only realistic dream is to die, so that wouldn't be a tragedy plus I wouldn't be a burden on people's lives. People might say that they don't want me to be killed, but they should think about the fact I wouldn't annoy them anymore. They should think about the fact that I don't contribute to this world and that i'm useless, so why should I have a life in this world? People might say I have a purpose if i'm given life, but people are only given lives to actually find their purpose.

I can't find my purpose. I should've spent my 19 years to find my purpose, but i've been slacking off instead. I should've spent my childhood years preparing and finding definite interests instead of being a fool. That's why nobody likes me: because I have no interests in anything, so I don't know about anything. That's why i'm not good in conversations. I'm just a loser and that's why girls are just scared of me.

I'm in a school where i'm supposed to catch up, but i'm just starting to fail. I miss my first period class because I find to reason to wake up. I just see no reason to try anymore because i'm just so far behind in life. I should've tried a long time ago. That's why the steps of the schooling process takes years. I can't keep up in a year.


I'm a lonely retarded loser failure with low self-esteem and broken dreams.
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reneblack
replied on December 14th, 2006
Experienced User
Re: I Need to Be Gone
aspiration wrote:
i honestly feel that the only solution to my sadness is death. It seems like there is no repairing and i'm screwed up for good. People might say that things are gonna get better and i'm gonna get through it, but they have no proof. They obviously haven't been thinking about how many times tragedies occur, which means that people die before they get to find their happiness. Well, my only realistic dream is to die, so that wouldn't be a tragedy plus I wouldn't be a burden on people's lives. People might say that they don't want me to be killed, but they should think about the fact I wouldn't annoy them anymore. They should think about the fact that I don't contribute to this world and that i'm useless, so why should I have a life in this world? People might say I have a purpose if i'm given life, but people are only given lives to actually find their purpose.

I can't find my purpose. I should've spent my 19 years to find my purpose, but i've been slacking off instead. I should've spent my childhood years preparing and finding definite interests instead of being a fool. That's why nobody likes me: because I have no interests in anything, so I don't know about anything. That's why i'm not good in conversations. I'm just a loser and that's why girls are just scared of me.

I'm in a school where i'm supposed to catch up, but i'm just starting to fail. I miss my first period class because I find to reason to wake up. I just see no reason to try anymore because i'm just so far behind in life. I should've tried a long time ago. That's why the steps of the schooling process takes years. I can't keep up in a year.



I'm a lonely retarded loser failure with low self-esteem and broken dreams.

please dont go through what I did! About 5% of people in this world care about you as a good person. Wink
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rainfallsup
replied on December 15th, 2006
New User
Your losing hope and thats not the answer, neither is death as you say your still so young. Its never to late to make your life better. Take up a hobby. Start drawing or something, it doesnt sound like your even trying. Your not a failure, some one jus needs to boost you up a little bit. Has any one actually told you that your a burden. Girls im sure arent scared of you, you just have to practice talking to them. Im 17 and I almost hate talkin to people at times, but you dont have to be a great conversationalist to have a conversation. Dont say what you shoulld have done, do it now. Theres more people out there than you knoe that fell the same way as you and dont knoe there purpose. I dont know why im here, but im willing to find out. Theres not gonna be some magical fairy that comes to make your life better, you have to do it. If theres anything I can help you message me ill talk to u.
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sandyallen
replied on December 15th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
True, I may not know you, but I bet you that their are a heck of a lot of people that are worse off then you are, you don't sound like a retard to me. Have you ever heard that today is the 1st day for the rest of my life? What about a new years resolution? Gosh, you are young! I bet you have people that really care about you! Have you ever thought about talking to a professional about your depression, you know that you are not alone on this, their are many people out there who feel like you do. Start by liking yourself and you might need a little help, it is nothing to be ashamed of, I was down and out for awhile, when I became disabled, cannnot walk or see very well but I still function and do what I can and sometimes it is not easy, I fall and get back up again. You can get up too, it is not easy but you can do it! I realize that this time of year can be rough on a lot of people also.
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renee62
replied on December 15th, 2006
New User
I understand completely how you feel. But you are forgetting one thing, how many people will you be leaving behind that love you more than you know... They will spend the rest of their lives trying to figure out how thy could have stopped you.....And remember god doesnt make mistakes....You are always loved......You will have to work at it, and it wont be easy. But I bet you can do it..........I did..................
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Aspiration
replied on January 8th, 2007
New User
Um. Where did all the posts go?
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reneblack
replied on January 10th, 2007
Experienced User
aspiration wrote:
um. Where did all the posts go?

what do you mean? Are you still feeling down? What can we do to help you? Hope you feel well? Wink
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Aspiration
replied on January 15th, 2007
New User
Yeah, it's a sunday - a relatively boring day, which is even more boring for me since my life is boring in general. I feel stuck with it. Not to mention that I feel guilty with what I do with my existence, especially on a sunday. I guess the boredom makes me think about it. I don't know.
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Catt101
replied on January 15th, 2007
Experienced User
Depression and boredom arent things that should be mixed together, finding ur purpose in life isnt so easy but u cant give up so easily, I think me and u are kinda tha same since everytime I get bored I think the same thing, but dont let it get to you, you'll find ur purpose soon, yes sunday is a boring day, go to church or something, haha I can go into church with the intention of hurting myself or being in the worst mood, but I somehow become so happy, its weird
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