Hello all,

i'm 29.3 years old, this is my first post regarding my health. Hopefully I found some related posts but they were all younger than me.



First i'd like to tell u a little about me: i'm a computer programmer spending most of my time on the computer, I have been programing since 10 years old, staying up late or never sleep, I think alot, i'm involved in alot of software development, assembly language, hacking and the things that are so difficult that need me to think alot. (could this lead to anxiety?)


i'm not on medication.


I do not excercise. Until 3 weeks ago when I started to do that.



--- smoking section
i started smoking in 2001 (age 24, i.E. Five years ago). I don't smoke more than 1 pack per day, I smoked many brands, but one of them was captain black cigars for 2 years, which is a heavy cigar, when I don't have it I smoke anything else.

Since 2 weeks I was unable to finish 3 normal cigarettes per day which is a good sign. Now the average is like 1 cigarette maximum per day.


----

my personality:
i was a shy person all my life until the age of 26 I got better.


I have few very good friends... But few.


I do not classify myself as a social person, although women classify me as a talker. But i'm not that at all.



-- bad things that I suspect in my personality
1. I'm very serious. I find it hard to laugh at a joke even if it try.


2. I'm very much into work.


3. I never lied in my life.

I'm under stress from life. Coz i'm in iraq.



Before the war (age 26) I used to have normal hard errections, and I get stimulated by sexy girl shoes !
Now after the war with 3 years, it requires a very sexy girl and a very sexy shot to stimulate me (i mean in my brain). However, for my penis, it wouldn't errect, but with a hand work, it can get full length, but not hard at all. I cum at (say 80%) of times when I insist on hand work, and only few times when my penis was real hard (i mean very few times).



I asked a friend who just graduated from medical college, and he said it's anxiety and it's mostly because of the war and things happening in iraq.



For that anxiety part I would like to share with u what I think could be a reason:
1. I watched all the beheading videos on the internet out of curiousity and it made me worried alot and I keep playing back those videos in my head.


2. I watched some websites that show very graphic accidents.


(i really never thought at that time that these could affect my subconscious).


3. When I park my car, I usually check the doors (while I know they're locked) but i'm just not sure. So I check all 4 doors twice. (worried)
4. I also check house door locks carefully twice or 3 times. Everytime we leave the house alone or at night.

-about my iq
i get a full mark in logic and math on tickle.Com, my only mistakes was some questions regarding english words.



I might sound talking alot, but it's because i'm very careful of giving all what I know that could bring better answers from everyone. I hope i'm not wasting anybody's time.



So my problem is divided into 2 main categories:
1. (the most important) no hard errection and sometimes or no errection at all.


2. No stimulation

i'd like to add a little
i used to masturbate since age 13, once per day and max. Twice.


I had no sexual disease ever.
I get a half boner watching nude websites, but when it came to actually do it with my girlfriend, there was no errection at all. I even started to play those website shot in my head so that I might get it errected, but I couldn't

is this because of anxiety = psychological?


Did I lose it all because I used all of it in my masturbation since age 13?



More about my health
- I did not have breakfast for 3 years: since smoking, I began to hate to have breakfast. And the years 26-29 I didn't have breakfast I used to wake up at 7am, go to work, sit on my manager's desk (yes i'm an it manager) have the first cigarette, then spend the day somking and having tea, and I didn't even feel hungry for breakfast. I know it's wrong. But this is what happened.


- I am 77kg and 178cm tall.


- my job made me sit on the desk most of the time giving orders, and solving problems between my employees under a lot of stress. This is all after the war. I manage 7 hard employees. And they're friends so I get into more stress I can't fire anyone of them. That was the case with my work.


-there was no sport activity even walking during the last 3 years.


-i stay late until 4 or 5 am making a software program or something like that.


-i don't get much sleep, and when I sleep I try to get more than I need as to make up for the other days. (could be wrong).




--- war
- bombs everywhere
- everyday there's someone killed nearby.



I know I have been not organized in my post here, so I apologize for that.


I hope I can get answers from you...


This has started to eat me from inside, specially after the time with my girlfriend.


It's taking much of my confidence and self esteem.
I'm already depressed. And i'm not young.

Sorry for my bad english...



Please help...


And have a nice day all of you...