i think i have an eating disorder.
i have been restricting my food to 200cals a day and making myself sick.
if i can i wont eat at all - but make my self sick still on drinks such as
squash.
i thought i was in control until i tried to not make my self sick one day ad i
couldnt. i HAD to be sick.
i saw a little blood once but i think its where i scratched my throat.
i hate myself - i cant bear to look at myself im repulsive. i dont deserve to go
out so have to stay in.i wont allow myself to go out or do things until i have
reached my goal weight. and if i dont i dont know if i can carry on like this.
im losing my friends and everyone.im 5ft 5" and weigh an awful 128lbs.
i told 1 person and her advise was to talk to my parents but i knew a girl with
anorexia and they mocked it and said all tey have to do is eat. they really
wouldnt understand and i dont have the control or bravery to tell them. also i
dont think i colud tell my doctor. he has broken confidence before and i know he
will do it again. i dont think i could blurt this out face to face to someone.
im struggling to write this now.
please help i dont know what else to do