hello firefly
The drugs in your system is taking effect, and you not knowing how the world is shaped is the very fuel to fire.....
would it help if i told you that you were normal? and that everyone else is abnormal?
Would it help if i mentioned in my opinion to meditate once in a while... contemplating all that has happened to you, and what your future shall hold for you....
Would it also help, if i mentioned that the simple reasons why you dont take care of your self is cause you lost most meaning to that which you thought was real, is now being challanged to that which was you originally, are you wrong? a loser who lost to the preassure of the world?
Keep up with your vitamins, excersise, chant a beautiful prayer, find a hobbie and define the life that which was destined for you. you have all the time you need... as all things, fish need to adjust to the waters they swim in, even if they do sufficate with drugs.... but from doctors opinioins, you are the best intreperter of your experiances, not other people....
may your path become enlightend
some personal development books mite help...
I have solitude from this hyped up world, from the books i read... and the music i listen to... Zen
peace out firefly, may your wings not clip and your light shine for miles.