I am a 40 year old male. I have never had
a relationship. I have an infantile penis
and have always had trouble with
intercourse because I cannot feel much and
quickly lose my erection. During oral sex
I can stay erect for hours. Every sexual
experience I have had has been with
prostitutes. I lost my virginity at 21
and by age 23 I developed an obsessive
compulsive need to visit prostitutes. I
think it was part craving some affection
and human touch and part wanting to be
able to successfully have sex to be able
to feel normal. My obsession with
prostitutes caused severe financial
problems so I sought treatment.
I was chemically castrated by a
psychiatrist with 400mg a day of androcur
which worked very well to control my
sexual desires but it caused severe
depression and weight gain and basically a
total loss of interest in life and
subsequently caused 3 suicide attempts. I
was chemically castrated for a total of 8
years.
I am now addicted to internet porn and
spend anywhere from 5 to 10 hours a day
masturbating. I have even sneaked away
from work so I could masturbate during
work hours because I could not last eight
hours without this compulsion taking over.
All my life , I have always been laughed
at and humiliated by women when they see
me naked to the point that I now have
developed a perversion for being
humiliated and I actively seek out
humiliation in web chat rooms. There is
no shortage of women willing to oblige
when they see me on cam, telling me my
penis is the smallest they have ever seen
and that it is pathetic. I get off on
this now, so I am spending an enormous
amount of time in chat rooms masturbating
while women tell me how pathetic my penis
is.
I am totally out of control and this
obsession or compulsion is starting to
affect every part of my life. I do not
want to go on androcur again because of
the side affects. There must be some
other drug that with rid me of my sexual
desires without lowering my testosterone
levels and causing weight gain and
depression again.
Can anyone please offer any advice.
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 11-25-06 12:58pm
How small is your penis?
|
ObsessiveCompulsive
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Nov 2006 Posts: 3
Posted: 11-30-06 06:53am
It is too small to successfully have sex.
I just need to totally get rid of all my
sexual desires. I was once told by a
doctor that there was a procedure where
your brain activity is monitored whilst
you are sexually aroused and then that
specific part of your brain that controls
sexual arousal is destroyed by laser. If
anyone knows about this procedure or about
any forms of medication that will totally
rid me of my sexual desires I would be
very grateful to hear from you. I need
help; suicide is starting to look like a
good option once again.
Help please!
|
NickVellios
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 55
Posted: 12-04-06 19:57pm
Why don't you just cut off your penis?
Seems to me like it would be a cure-all
for all your problems...
How do you masturbate if it is _that_
small? Two fingers? Just curious, not
poking fun.
|
ObsessiveCompulsive
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Nov 2006 Posts: 3
Good Advice Posted: 12-05-06 09:14am
Thanks for the good advice nick (cut off
my penis). I have a genuine problem. Try
to imagine if you could that what you have
read has been written by your son and see
if it is still funny. Imagine knowing
that your son is going to spend his life
alone with people like you making jokes
about his problems, constantly needing
medication just to cope with his feelings
of worthlessness. I though I might get
some answers here but obviously not. I
will not be returning here so dont bother
with anymore wonderful advice. I hope u
all had a good laugh at my expense.
|
NickVellios
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 55
Posted: 12-05-06 19:56pm
Sex isn't everything in life. Get a
hobby, get friends, get a life. Sorry to
be rude, but jeez man. You need to take
your mind off sex. What I said was a
joke but in a way it was serious. If you
are having this many problems and are
wanting to medicinally castrate yourself,
then maybe you need to physically castrate
yourself. I said it in a joking way
because that is my personality and that
the joking type of person I am.
If you are having this many uncontrollable
thoughts and sexual problems you need to
get some type of castration because if you
can't control yourself and you are that
sick in the head with perverted fantasies
then you are a great cantidate for being a
rapist.
|
spectermonkey
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2006 Posts: 59 Location: Somewhere
Don't Choose Death Posted: 01-25-07 19:08pm
Well first of all, I think you've got to
stop getting off to people belittling you
in chat rooms. (no pun intended)
it's damaging to your self esteem and
inevitably will drive you to suicide if
you keep up that kind of behaviour.
Secondly, you have to fight the urge.
Get it into your head that you're better
than that.
Get it into your head that masturbation is
fun, but it's best in moderation.
Moderation is the key. If you want
affection,and love and all those good
things, find someone who loves you for
something other than the size of your
penis. Last time I checked, not all women
are so concerned with the size of your
penis that they'll reject you for it. In
fact if you're looking for women in chat
rooms, you're going to be very
disappointed. The majority of women in
those chat rooms are probably very
shallow, insecure and are petty. You
can't be telling me that all women are
shallow insecure and petty. (though I
know a lot of em are, don't get me
wrong!)
men have other parts of their bodies that
they can use to have sex with women. I
imagine your tongue or fingers aren't too
short to get down and use.
Look, i'm not going to get into any more
personal details, because I feel like a
creep talking about this...But trust me,
there's more to life than just sex.
Sometimes you need a bit of a priority
change.
Nix the masturbation, stop setting
yourself up for humiliation and get out
and find a real nice woman. (i know there
are some out there.)
though I can't stress enough..You've got
to stop that webcam thing.
You're killing your self esteem. And the
hoardes of cowardly weak women who are
probably loosened up beyond redemption
from forced anal sex or something , hiding
behind their computer screens where they
can say what they want without fear of
reprocussion...Well, they're just that.
Cowards. And weak. Don't allign yourself
with them in any manner!
I have faith in you.
I know you can do it.
Respect yourself first, and I assure you,
your life will take a turn for the
better.
I know.
Because I used to not respect myself and
my life sucked.
|
paulw772
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Feb 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 02-12-08 11:10am
I know the struggle you are talking about.
The rest of the people who posted here
don't understand sexual addiction. It's
not as easy as just saying "Don't do it
anymore". Go to recoverycoachonline.com
this guy helped me alot in my recovery.
