I am a 40 year old male. I have never had a relationship. I have an infantile penis and have always had trouble with intercourse because I cannot feel much and quickly lose my erection. During oral sex I can stay erect for hours. Every sexual experience I have had has been with prostitutes. I lost my virginity at 21 and by age 23 I developed an obsessive compulsive need to visit prostitutes. I think it was part craving some affection and human touch and part wanting to be able to successfully have sex to be able to feel normal. My obsession with prostitutes caused severe financial problems so I sought treatment.
I was chemically castrated by a psychiatrist with 400mg a day of androcur which worked very well to control my sexual desires but it caused severe depression and weight gain and basically a total loss of interest in life and subsequently caused 3 suicide attempts. I was chemically castrated for a total of 8 years.
I am now addicted to internet porn and spend anywhere from 5 to 10 hours a day masturbating. I have even sneaked away from work so I could masturbate during work hours because I could not last eight hours without this compulsion taking over.
All my life , I have always been laughed at and humiliated by women when they see me naked to the point that I now have developed a perversion for being humiliated and I actively seek out humiliation in web chat rooms. There is no shortage of women willing to oblige when they see me on cam, telling me my penis is the smallest they have ever seen and that it is pathetic. I get off on this now, so I am spending an enormous amount of time in chat rooms masturbating while women tell me how pathetic my penis is.
I am totally out of control and this obsession or compulsion is starting to affect every part of my life. I do not want to go on androcur again because of the side affects. There must be some other drug that with rid me of my sexual desires without lowering my testosterone levels and causing weight gain and depression again.
It is too small to successfully have sex. I just need to totally get rid of all my sexual desires. I was once told by a doctor that there was a procedure where your brain activity is monitored whilst you are sexually aroused and then that specific part of your brain that controls sexual arousal is destroyed by laser. If anyone knows about this procedure or about any forms of medication that will totally rid me of my sexual desires I would be very grateful to hear from you. I need help; suicide is starting to look like a good option once again.
Thanks for the good advice nick (cut off my penis). I have a genuine problem. Try to imagine if you could that what you have read has been written by your son and see if it is still funny. Imagine knowing that your son is going to spend his life alone with people like you making jokes about his problems, constantly needing medication just to cope with his feelings of worthlessness. I though I might get some answers here but obviously not. I will not be returning here so dont bother with anymore wonderful advice. I hope u all had a good laugh at my expense.
Sex isn't everything in life. Get a hobby, get friends, get a life. Sorry to be rude, but jeez man. You need to take your mind off sex. What I said was a joke but in a way it was serious. If you are having this many problems and are wanting to medicinally castrate yourself, then maybe you need to physically castrate yourself. I said it in a joking way because that is my personality and that the joking type of person I am.
If you are having this many uncontrollable thoughts and sexual problems you need to get some type of castration because if you can't control yourself and you are that sick in the head with perverted fantasies then you are a great cantidate for being a rapist.
Well first of all, I think you've got to stop getting off to people belittling you in chat rooms. (no pun intended)
it's damaging to your self esteem and inevitably will drive you to suicide if you keep up that kind of behaviour.
Secondly, you have to fight the urge.
Get it into your head that you're better than that.
Get it into your head that masturbation is fun, but it's best in moderation.
Moderation is the key. If you want affection,and love and all those good things, find someone who loves you for something other than the size of your penis. Last time I checked, not all women are so concerned with the size of your penis that they'll reject you for it. In fact if you're looking for women in chat rooms, you're going to be very disappointed. The majority of women in those chat rooms are probably very shallow, insecure and are petty. You can't be telling me that all women are shallow insecure and petty. (though I know a lot of em are, don't get me wrong!)
men have other parts of their bodies that they can use to have sex with women. I imagine your tongue or fingers aren't too short to get down and use.
Look, i'm not going to get into any more personal details, because I feel like a creep talking about this...But trust me, there's more to life than just sex. Sometimes you need a bit of a priority change.
Nix the masturbation, stop setting yourself up for humiliation and get out and find a real nice woman. (i know there are some out there.)
though I can't stress enough..You've got to stop that webcam thing.
You're killing your self esteem. And the hoardes of cowardly weak women who are probably loosened up beyond redemption from forced anal sex or something , hiding behind their computer screens where they can say what they want without fear of reprocussion...Well, they're just that. Cowards. And weak. Don't allign yourself with them in any manner!
I have faith in you.
I know you can do it.
Respect yourself first, and I assure you, your life will take a turn for the better.
Because I used to not respect myself and my life sucked.
I know the struggle you are talking about. The rest of the people who posted here don't understand sexual addiction. It's not as easy as just saying "Don't do it anymore". Go to recoverycoachonline.com this guy helped me alot in my recovery.
Why would someone make fun of you? This is NOT FUNNY! Shame on them, they are the type that cannot feel empathy for others. I totally empathize though I am a woman and cannot say I know how you feel, but I surely can relate to your feelings of depression over something you cannot control and had nothing to do with creating. Paul's idea is a good one. I wish you Good luck OC!!
I agree that comment a couple of post above was completely unnecessary. This is a health forum and people come here with questions and this poor person was sincerely distressed. How would you feel if that comment was the last straw for him. Not too good huh.
I think you should do as the poster said above and go the website he suggested.
You could also go to get some doctors opinions and let them know you don't want madicine and see what other alternatives they suggest. Try and exercise perhaps to keep your mind off it. Also have you tried seeking a psychologist. There's nothing to be embarressed off they are trained to deal with all types of situations and believe me yours is very far from the worst situation possible.
believe in yourself and you can beat this with the right help.
You need to see a psychiatrist first off. Medication could help you a lot, but not in every case. Listening to some of the ******* above rip on you isn't going to do you any good. And Nick, how could somebody with a penis that's too small to have sex with possibly be a "great cantidate for being a rapist"? Anyway, get some help and good luck.
I'm bipolar, I go in and out of sexual obsession. I'm trying to find answers too. Meds may be able to help but if they counter act my bipolar at all I can get pretty crazy so I'm not sure I want to mess with it. I've been looking into some 12 step programs like Love and Sex Anonymous. Hopefully I can harness this insanity there.