I am happily married and childfree, I do not ever want children.

this is out and out gender discrimination. It is crazy that they will sterilize a man but not his wife. You are in ontario, right? Have you thought of going to the human rights tribunal over this?






being married would not make me want children. (fortunately, it seems to be impossible now anyway for me to conceive, since I appear to be in menopause) besides, I don't think single ppl should stop having sex just because they don't want kids, either. I don't need a piece of paper giving me permission to boink.

cant because the dr thinks im too young and refuses to tie my tubes with a vag birth, because of complication lol!! If I got pregnant again I would have more complication and they have suggested I dont have anymore kids for my mental and physical health but still wont tie my tubes, .what is wrong with these people!

On another note

i also mentioned people in relationships but since im married it is easier for me to post from a person view (as in marriage) when writing some of this. Although im married I started off from a relationship as all of us do!

I hate how doctors no longer take women seriously about sterilization. They won't even take parents who say "enough!" seriously, and it's almost sickening. I don't think anyone should have to stop having sex - if you want to abstain, then that's your choice. However, I don't believe anyone, marriage or not, should have to constantly refuse sex just to prevent having unwanted children. Adults have the capacity to make their own decisions and deal with the consequences.

Not having 'recreational' sex won't stop abortions. Women have the ability of changing their minds about parenthood during early pregnancy, their partners may cheat or leave them, maybe they'll go broke or the fetus will be diseased. Abortions will never stop, and it's foolish to think otherwise.

I also have never understood the whole "marriage=kids" complex. The second two people get married, they're getting asked when the "miracles" will be arriving. Why is it that so many people feel they need to spawn to be considered normal or whole? Why can't marriage be the two spouses? Whatever happened to the saying "two's company and three's a crowd"? I'm not against people having kids in marriage - trust me, i'd rather see a child born to a couple in a solid relationship than to some dirty welfare prostitute with nine kids by different babydaddies. I just don't understand why marriage is considered complete to some people when a child comes along.

Humans are strange - i'm glad I never was one

I bet you wish you would have had a tape recorder with you when your dr said all of that that he did not want to tie your tubes because you are too young but he does not want you to have anymore kids because of your situation, sometimes these dr's do not make sense, your husband could have extra equipment and landing you pregnant or something else happening and you becoming pregnant, no you should have the right to get your tubes tied and burnt(just my opinion), any female should as long as they are willing to sign the paper saying that they will not sue the dr for the procedure even if they decide to want to get pregnant later(just my opinion).

exactly, paperwork paperwork paperwork!!!

Common sense people know that there can be complications with any surgical procedure, that just comes with that domain although they are small.
As for having more kids adoptiont adoption adoption!

Cambion I completely agree people are so pushy, or if you have kids they always seem to ask the same annoying question (are you still with the father?) why do you care? Sorry no offense!

In our county alone the last count was over 350 kids that needs to be adopted out and the numbers are growing rapidly and we live in a small county, how many of them will find good homes with the love and attention that they deserve?

while I agree that a woman/man should be able to decide for themselves whether permanent birth control is for them, most doctor's will not do it becuase of the chance someone will change their mind in the future. Long term birth control is usually the more "moral" recommendation for young, childfree people.

Oh I can't wait to have many babies! I'm planning my wedding!! Woohoo!!!

Ahh I just came from vacationing in the caribbean. The beach was nice!!

if you want to be a breeding machine, that is your choice. But not everyone wants to be and that is our choice.

too bad you forgot to get married before sleeping around, huh?

but is this assumption that people will change their minds equal?

No, it's not. My 19 year old brother can go and get a vasectomy tomorrow with only a minimal amount of people asking him 'are you sure?' but I couldn't get a sterilization in this country until I turned 35 or had already dropped some kids. This to me is supremely unfair and a disgusting practice of the entire medical profession. As if women cannot make up their minds about such an important issue before they reach a certain age but a young man who can't even legally drink yet can easily decide it.


A good friend of mine has two children both under the age of 3 and is 22 years old. She didn't even want to have the first one but she discovered that she is quite fertile. After the first one was born, she asked to have her tubes tied and was denied at every private doctor she tried. After the second one, she again tried in vain. Finally, she located a doctor in puerto rico, borrowed the money from her parents, and obtained her sterilization there.

To further illustrate how unfair that situation really is, my husband's uncle knew from the earliest stages that he did not ever want children. So, at 20 when his then girlfriend experienced a pregnancy scare, he went ahead and received a vasectomy. He had no children, he wasn't old enough to drink (by our standards, back in the day you could drink at 1, he was still in college and living at home with his parents - but he could make that big decision all by himself without anyone second guessing him. My friend who is buying her house, holds down two jobs, and already has two children isn't yet in a position in this country that she can make such a big decision? b-ll sh-t!!!!

it's plain and utter sexism at its worst. The assumption that women are the more emotional as opposed to the more logical sex and therefore can't be trusted to make such large decisions as whether they have children or not. .B.U.-.L .S.H.-.T!!!!!

i agree with that. It is unfair for women to be denied sterilization just because they are young. I personally can't understand how come a doctor is willing to kill fetuses but is not willing to sterilize for which is not killing anyone. Jenn hasn't planned parenthood ever discussed this issue and tried to do something about it?

Even tho men have this advantage of receiving sterelization at anytime they wish they are still doomed for not being able to have reproductive choices (unplanned pregnancy) like the women have.

Did your friend never tried the iud? That's pretty effective

i highly doubt that... I worked in the field myself as well. The doctor required the wife, numerous consults, etc before doing a vasectomy. Even if he had children.



yes, that is correct.

Also remember that male sterilization are less invasive and easier to reverse than a woman's. Not that it should matter.

Could you gals imagine though, what if drs started sterilizing more woman, maybe there would be less abortion, this could benefit both sides!

we've seen a growing trend toward sterilization in certain communities and where we've seen an increase in the numbers of sterilization, we've seen a decrease in the numbers of abortions. The two do seem to be correlated at some level.

There's also a strong correlation between the economy and abortion. When the economy is strong, abortion decreases. When the economy weakens, we see dramatic rises in abortion rates. And, in fact, forgetting the housing market as an economic indicator, we can watch certain communities (unfortunately) that when they start experiencing an increase in abortions we know that the economy is beginning a downturn or less productive cycle.

ever hear of contraception hey.

ever heard of it failing hey.

Ever heard of women who can't use horomones, who become pregnant even on the iud, or are allergic to latex, hey.

do you ever remember what you read or do you just forget what pro life have written, well it is not my fault you are to dense to read properly but I am not going to let you use me as an attack board, then again a pro lifer being attacked by pro choice, go figure.Why dont you read her post she never once mentioned contraception or any allergys, so go mod your forum and leave me alone.

Ps imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, merry xmas and may you live in interesting times.