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Post Abortion Stress Posted: 11-17-06 10:50am
No offense paganangel
paganangel
wrote:
i think it's really sad that
the pro-choice people can't accept that
some people really do regret having an
abortion. It's not just because of
some underlying issue...Some women really
do regret having abortions. I guess
they feel threatened by women (even
pro-choice women) that stand up and
say.."hey I had an abortion..It sucked and
I regret it". They just yell and
scream that "you must have already been
messed up before your abortion because
abortion doesn't make anyone feel bad".
I've met women that are honestly
suffering from an abortion. And not
because someone shoved a bunch of dead
fetus pics in their face...Or told them to
feel bad....They just honestly feel bad
because of the abortion. Why is it so
hard for them to understand that some
women really get pas after an
abortion?
yes some woman may regret an abortion,
majority of woman who regret abortion is
the ones who felt they were pressured into
doing so.
There is nothing wrong with having that
regret and informing people but like I
said before big difference between telling
a woman that due to the fact of your
regret, abortion is wrong!!
Personally I regret having kids so early
but instead of living in the past I spend
my time, well time I have left with my
kids and make the best of the sitiuation.
I just dont like the word regret but I
dont usually open up about how I feel, im
doing better now and I think some of my
problems were related to depression!
************************************
to debate another issue
***********************************
trina1
wrote:
my favorite saying is...."some
choices....Are just
wrong."
that is true as is "some choices are just
right!"
people make choices everyday, they may not
be the best choices but with bad choices
come consequence(which can show in many
forms,) now we learn from bad choices but
sometimes they are out of our control but
were better prepared usually the second
time around.
The reason we say some of you are
anti-choice/anti woman is because you dont
think woman should have a choice/right
when it comes to abortion but if that was
true arent you being hypocritical??
Its like saying you have the right to be a
parent but not the right to have an
abortion? Your still a parent even if
you have an abortion!
I have made stupid choices as has everyone
else but I dont hold it against people I
grow from what I did and know for next
time to be better informed or just not to
do "it" again!
My father raised me with values and morals
and I didnt have children till marriage,
that being for the best but he also raised
me to be openminded! My father is
handicapped, has six children, they said
my dad could never walk,run,play guitar,
work but he did it and I love him for his
determinations and hope.
Although my father had all his kids he is
still pro-choice and wouldnt have it any
other way!
So mom is pro-life and dad is pro-choice
how did they make it with seperate
views??
No one will share identical views doesnt
mean we cant get along!
|
Jules
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Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3795 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
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Re: Post Abortion Stress Posted: 11-17-06 11:02am
diamondsz
wrote:
no one will share identical views doesnt
mean we cant get
along!
group hug!!!
i think the trouble is that abortion is
such an emotive issue that it's hard for
each side not to see the other as 'the
enemy'. I'm generalising here of
course.
One of my best friends is a supporter of
fox hunting (a topic of contention in
.England) whereas I am dead against it.
However, I respect that she is allowed her
opinion and she respects mine. We just
don't talk about fox hunting! My point
is that we can all get along if we all
just accept that we are not always going
to agree and we stop trying to convert
other people to our way of thinking...
.However, is that not a bit
dangerous, do you think? If we all just
accepted each other's beliefs and
lifestyle choices then would the status
quo never be challenged and would society
cease to evolve?
|
diamondsz
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Re: Post Abortion Stress Posted: 11-17-06 11:16am
[quote="purestgreen"]
diamondsz
wrote:
.However, is that not a bit
dangerous, do you think? If we all just
accepted each other's beliefs and
lifestyle choices then would the status
quo never be challenged and would society
cease to
evolve?
you still need challenge or like you said
nothing will evolve, if we dont have one
group trying to prove something then
people may not have that drive to create
something new or to find a new medical
cure etc.
In a way you are right but at the same
time I dont think people should be pushing
their views down each others throats!
I have said if I got pregnant again I
would have an abortion, I dont think I
could go through with it but I like to
know that I have that choice!
I still think society would evolve no
matter the difference but what way would
it go for the better or worse that's what
I would be asking!
|
Carifairy
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Posted: 11-17-06 14:17pm
In my personal experience, having worked
with women who have had aboritons, women
who made the choice for themselves without
pressure, rarely have feelings of regret.
|
Tylanas
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Posted: 11-17-06 15:25pm
An interesting note: to truly be pro-woman
as pro-life so claims to be, they cannot
simultaneously remove her rights.
|
DamianaRaven
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2006 Posts: 21
Posted: 11-19-06 05:21am
Although i'm pro-choice, I believe that a
woman should experience some pain and
regret after having an abortion. This is
a healthy sign of conscience and will
serve as a reminder that abortion is a
little more serious than just an expensive
means of birth control.
|
Tylanas
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Posted: 11-19-06 18:04pm
damianaraven
wrote:
although i'm pro-choice, I
believe that a woman should experience
some pain and regret after having an
abortion. This is a healthy sign of
conscience and will serve as a reminder
that abortion is a little more serious
than just an expensive means of birth
control.
of course you're going to think she should
feel regret, you're pro-life, and you
believe abortion is bad. Your statement
would have meant more if you were a
pro-choicer.
I do not have a problem with women feeting
sad after an abortion, but "regret" is an
emotion that I believe no human should
feel for any reason whatsoever.
|
Jules
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Posted: 11-19-06 18:45pm
eiri
wrote:
damianaraven
wrote:
although i'm
pro-choice, I believe that a woman
should experience some pain and regret
after having an abortion.
of course you're going to think she should
feel regret, you're pro-life, and you
believe abortion is bad. Your statement
would have meant more if you were a
pro-choicer.
ummm...She is a pro-choicer, isn't she?
|
DamianaRaven
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2006 Posts: 21
Posted: 11-19-06 20:05pm
Indeed I am pro-choice. I think that a
woman should be allowed the right to do
whatever she wants to with her body,
whether it be having an abortion or
sticking peanuts up her nose. I think
it's more logical to focus my sympathy and
concern on the children who've already
been born into lives of misery and despair
than to worry about those who aren't even
self-aware yet.
However, I do not believe that abortion is
a decision that should be made lightly and
walked away from without a second thought.
Having an abortion means killing your own
child, whether your reasons were noble or
selfish. Nobody should judge a woman for
making that grave decision, but she should
reflect upon what she's done and think
about her mistake. Before everyone starts
howling at me for using the word
"mistake," I was not referring to the
abortion, but the act of carelessly
getting pregnant. I know it's possible to
get pregnant while using birth control,
but that is the rare exception and not the
rule.
Eiri, the human race would be a sorry
species indeed if nobody ever experienced
regret for any reason. Should child
molesters never regret molesting children?
Regret is what keeps us from repeating
our mistakes, whatever they may be. I
regret a lot of the stupid things i've
done in my life, which is why i'm not out
doing the same things anymore.
|
Tylanas
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Posted: 11-19-06 20:09pm
purestgreen
wrote:
eiri
wrote:
damianaraven
wrote:
although i'm
pro-choice, I believe that a woman
should experience some pain and regret
after having an abortion.
of course you're going to think she should
feel regret, you're pro-life, and you
believe abortion is bad. Your statement
would have meant more if you were a
pro-choicer.
ummm...She is a pro-choicer, isn't she?
i'm sorry, I misread her post or
something... I really could have sworn
she said "although i' no pro-choice".
That's why I responded the way I did.
Still, the secon half of my post holds its
creedence. In fact, minus the pat about
accidentally calling her pro-life, the
first part of my post holds creedence as
well. Pro-life feel women should regret
their abortions because they think
abortion is bad
i would like to apoligize, again. I typed
the reply up rather quickly.
|
Tylanas
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Posted: 11-19-06 20:17pm
damianaraven
wrote:
indeed I am pro-choice. I
think that a woman should be allowed the
right to do whatever she wants to with her
body, whether it be having an abortion or
sticking peanuts up her nose. I think
it's more logical to focus my sympathy and
concern on the children who've already
been born into lives of misery and despair
than to worry about those who aren't even
self-aware
yet.
i agree as well
Quote:
however, I do not
believe that abortion is a decision that
should be made lightly and walked away
from without a second thought. Having an
abortion means killing your own child,
whether your reasons were noble or
selfish. Nobody should judge a woman for
making that grave decision, but she should
reflect upon what she's done and think
about her mistake. Before everyone
starts howling at me for using the word
"mistake," I was not referring to the
abortion, but the act of carelessly
getting pregnant. I know it's possible
to get pregnant while using birth control,
but that is the rare exception and not the
rule.
Eiri, the human race would be a sorry
species indeed if nobody ever experienced
regret for any reason. Should child
molesters never regret molesting children?
Regret is what keeps us from repeating
our mistakes, whatever they may be. I
regret a lot of the stupid things i've
done in my life, which is why i'm not out
doing the same things
anymore.
sorry, I misread your post, I could have
sworn it said "although I am not
pro-choice". Beyond that (and I apoligize
again) the rest of the post is (as I view
it) true.
I agree with many of the things you say,
except for one.
I believe regret to be the emotion of
wanting to go back and change things.
This leads to people living in the past,
always wanting to change what they've done
instead of focusing on the future and the
present, and making things better in the
here an now. Making up for mistake is
more important than constantly moaning
"i'm so sorry I wish I hadn't done that I
wish I could go back and change it".
Sorrow, pain, yes. I feel those things
about desicions I have made. But I would
not do these things differently even if I
could, because those are lessons that I
learned and they make me who I am. I do
not want to change that. We are the sum
of our expriences, and wishing to change
the past is a futile effort. It only
brings sorrow.
Even if a woman is pro-life and aborts for
any reason, she should not regret her
desicion, even if she viewed it the same
as murdering someone. What can
she do now in her life to make better for
this choice she made? She can feel as
much sorrow over the abortion as she
wants, but she should never regret it.
Not regretting does not mean living
without sorrow and ain over retarded
choices - trust me i've made some. But it
does mean focusing on the things that need
to be done to make things better, and it
means learning to realise the lesson you
have learned from the event. If you live
in regret, you will never learn that
lesson because you will never move on.
|
DamianaRaven
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2006 Posts: 21
Posted: 11-19-06 20:20pm
eiri
wrote:
of course you're going to
think she should feel regret, you're
pro-life, and you believe abortion is bad.
Your statement would have meant more
if you were a
pro-choicer.
you're right, eiri. I do believe
abortion is bad. It may surprise you to
know that most pro-choice advocates are
not delighted by the idea of ripping an
unborn child from its mothers womb in
pieces. They simply believe, as I do,
that it is worse to force women to have
children they know they cannot (or don't
want to) care for. For me, abortion is
the lesser of two evils. Any woman
willing to go through with the procedure
has proven that she would not be a good
mother to that particular child. This
is not to say that anyone who's ever had
an abortion is an unfit parent for all
eternity. On the contrary. Many
women have had abortions in order to
ensure better care for the children they
already have.
Much of the world's misery and suffering
has been caused by overbreeding, so
anything that helps to keep a family's
number of children at a manageable level
is an acceptable option.
[note: I was writing this as you were
posting your addition, so I thought i'd
edit it to include a thanks for the
apology.]
|
DamianaRaven
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2006 Posts: 21
Posted: 11-19-06 20:28pm
eiri
wrote:
i believe regret to be the
emotion of wanting to go back and change
things.
–verb
1. To feel sorrow or remorse for (an
act, fault, disappointment, etc.): he no sooner
spoke than he regretted it.
2. To think of with a sense of loss:
to regret
one's vanished youth.
–noun
3. A sense of loss, disappointment,
dissatisfaction, etc.
4. A feeling of sorrow or remorse for a
fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.
5. Regrets, a polite, usually formal
refusal of an invitation: i sent her my
regrets.
6. A note expressing regret at one's
inability to accept an invitation: i have had four
acceptances and one regret.
|
Tylanas
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Posted: 11-19-06 23:39pm
damianaraven
wrote:
eiri
wrote:
of course you're going to
think she should feel regret, you're
pro-life, and you believe abortion is bad.
Your statement would have meant more
if you were a
pro-choicer.
you're right, eiri. I do believe
abortion is bad. It may surprise you
to know that most pro-choice advocates are
not delighted by the idea of ripping an
unborn child from its mothers womb in
pieces.
i'm not delighted at the idea either and I
view it as killing. However, "bad" is an
ethical connotation that I refuse to
attach to an act that is necessary for
some women.
Because abortion has so many reasons - to
save a life, to maintain quality of life -
I feel it is wrong to ascribe one ethical
state to it. I realise this is moral
ambiguity and most people hate that. It
has to be black or white to them.
Quote:
they simply
believe, as I do, that it is worse to
force women to have children they know
they cannot (or don't want to) care for.
as do i. I am one of them.
Quote:
for me, abortion
is the lesser of two evils. Any woman
willing to go through with the procedure
has proven that she would not be a good
mother to that particular child.
only in your opinion >
i think that is a very shallow way of
looking at things: any woman who aborts
would have been a bad mother. Shallow,
and very close-minded about the reasons
why women abort.
Quote:
this is not to
say that anyone who's ever had an abortion
is an unfit parent for all eternity.
On the contrary. Many women have had
abortions in order to ensure better care
for the children they already
have.
yet, they would be a bad mother to that
one specific child. I just don't think
your wording or my understanding of your
concept is clear.
Quote:
much of the
world's misery and suffering has been
caused by overbreeding, so anything that
helps to keep a family's number of
children at a manageable level is an
acceptable option.
[note: I was writing this as you were
posting your addition, so I thought i'd
edit it to include a thanks for the
apology.]
|
Tylanas
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Posted: 11-19-06 23:45pm
damianaraven
wrote:
eiri
wrote:
i believe regret to be the
emotion of wanting to go back and change
things.
–verb
1. To feel sorrow or remorse for (an
act, fault, disappointment, etc.): he no sooner
spoke than he regretted it.
2. To think of with a sense of loss:
to regret
one's vanished youth.
–noun
3. A sense of loss, disappointment,
dissatisfaction, etc.
4. A feeling of sorrow or remorse for a
fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.
5. Regrets, a polite, usually formal
refusal of an invitation: i sent her my
regrets.
6. A note expressing regret at one's
inability to accept an invitation: i have had four
acceptances and one
regret.
i never said (and i'm repeating myself)
that people shouldn't feel sad about
actions. But they shouldn't wish to do
the event over, or wish to change the
past. That is the meaning I have always
associated with the word "regret". Is
there a better word?
|
DamianaRaven
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2006 Posts: 21
Posted: 11-20-06 01:37am
rue was the only
word I could find which suggests wishing
an event had never happened.
Last edited by DamianaRaven on 11-20-06 10:08am; edited 1 time in total
|
Jules
Moderator
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Posted: 11-20-06 02:56am
damianaraven
wrote:
rue was the only
word I could find that suggest wishing an
event had never
happened.
ah, an excellent old fashioned word that
isn't used enough.
"ye'll rue tha day ye crossed mae path
laddio!"
|
diamondsz
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Posted: 11-20-06 10:59am
damianaraven
wrote:
indeed I am pro-choice. I
think that a woman should be allowed the
right to do whatever she wants to with her
body, whether it be having an abortion or
sticking peanuts up her nose. I think
it's more logical to focus my sympathy and
concern on the children who've already
been born into lives of misery and despair
than to worry about those who aren't even
self-aware yet.
However, I do not believe that abortion is
a decision that should be made lightly and
walked away from without a second thought.
Having an abortion means killing your
own child, whether your reasons were noble
or selfish. Nobody should judge a woman
for making that grave decision, but she
should reflect upon what she's done and
think about her mistake. Before everyone
starts howling at me for using the word
"mistake," I was not referring to the
abortion, but the act of carelessly
getting pregnant. I know it's possible
to get pregnant while using birth control,
but that is the rare exception and not the
rule.
Eiri, the human race would be a sorry
species indeed if nobody ever experienced
regret for any reason. Should child
molesters never regret molesting children?
Regret is what keeps us from repeating
our mistakes, whatever they may be. I
regret a lot of the stupid things i've
done in my life, which is why i'm not out
doing the same things
anymore.
its okay to regret but to regret your
whole life is not right, at one point in
life you have to remeber what you did and
move on. "i will forgive but never
forget"
