This is about my grandfather. I know its not pregnancy related but I need to write this and I thought this would be the perfect place since you guys are really sweet.


Okay im going to try to write this without soaking my keyboard. If I mispell some words, don't think anything of it. My eyes are just blurry from tears.

Early this year the doctors found a spot on my grandfathers lungs. He wouldnt let them do a biopsy but they said its most likely cancer since he has been smoking since he was a child. Ever since he left the hospital that day he has been going down hill.

Yesterday my grandmother told my ma that he wasnt doing to good and that he hasnt been sleeping much in the past 3 nights. So lastnight me and my folks went to go see him.

He didnt look that great. He's pale, no meat, just skin on his bones, cant walk, talks out of his head, and he doesnt eat alot. As soon as I seen him, I wanted to burst into tears because thats my pawpaw buthe didnt look like he used to. I spent most of my childhood summers with him. Sitting outside watching him fix lawnmowers and cars. So its really hard to see some one you grew up with in the shape that hes in.


I went in and sat down beside him. He tried to give me a hug but his poor bones in his arms wouldnt let him bend them correctly. That really broke my heart. Then later he asked me when brother junior and sister sherry ( my parents, they're christians) was coming to see him, right after he just got through talking to them and they were also sitting beside him! So I had to explain to him that they were already there. He just looked so clueless.

I dont know what im going to do when he does pass away. Mothers day was 2 years ago when I lost my other grandfather and I just dont want to go through this again. This is really going to hurt my ma when he does pass away. When she hurts, I hurt. I dont want her to go through this.

Lastnight I couldnt get any sleep. I was just sitting there thinking he would be better off if god would just go ahead and take him. He wouldnt be in pain anymore and wont be suffering through all this. Im not trying to be selfish, I just dont like to see my pawpaw suffer this way. Yes its going to be hard on everybody but I rather suffer instead of him.