Hi I was in the same situation.I understand what your going through,i just came out of the worst situation, hiv scare and I am ok,in the end I didnt contract the virus but ended up wid a mental disorder and still depression,you need to undersatdn we only live once,death was here before us and will be here after we are gone,belive in jesus christ who has died for our sins,and you will have enternal life,to be absent from the body is to be present with god.Death is nothing more than a deep sleep,it is human nature to fear what they dont understand and cant conquer,from the time you die it will be judgement day even though years or decades may past but you wont be conscious of the time that has passed,and you will be free from all this sickness hatred and ofcourse death.God is real we didnt create ourselves look at how our minds are noone who is of this world can create a mind,only the supreme being(god)relax and enjoy life the only person who can help you with your fears is jesus christ,just like how he helped me he will help you.Send me a message if you want to talk further,takecare