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Womens Health > Sexual Health - Women Forum > Should I Be Jealous of a Vibrator? (Page 1)
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Q: Should I Be Jealous of a Vibrator?
asked by: Makoto on November 11th, 2006
Experienced User
Should a man be jealous, hurt, insulted, inferior, or whatever over the fact his gf or wife has and uses a vibrator? Should he have the right to wish her to stop or else he is leaving? Lastly, is such a man being foolish and possibly controlling?

I would love to hear your opinions please.

Btw this man in question, is not me. I am just curious to what you all feel about this particular topic.
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maia
replied on November 12th, 2006
New User
I don't think a man should feel any of those things because of a vibrator. Because guess what? Everyone masturbates. That's right, everyone. Sure there is like 2% of the population that doesn't, but the rest do. And what do people do when they masturbate? They do what feels good, and if a vibrator feels good then they do that.
So that would be like me getting jealous of my boyfriend's hand. I don't think it should be insulting at all because people aren't always in the mood for sex. Sometimes people are tired, sick, out of town, whatever... So if your partner is not in the mood for whatever reason and you are, why not go for it?
If it was dinner time and your partner wasn't hungry would you eat anyway? Sure you would, same principle with sex.
You can't compare a person to a sex toy, it's not even on the same level.
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Makoto
replied on November 12th, 2006
Experienced User
Maia, very good points.

So, a person should not feel insecure or hurt?

I agree. Is there anyone out there that does not agree. Is there anyone reading this that thinks the man has the right to be pissed off about his wife using a vibrator.

Is there anyone that has had an experience similar to what we are talking about? What was your reaction, and how did you solve the problem?
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maia
replied on November 13th, 2006
New User
makoto wrote:
maia, very good points.

So, a person should not feel insecure or hurt?



i don't think so. If they do feel insecure or hurt it would probably be because they aren't looking at it the right way or don't fully understand the situation.
This is another example of why communication in a relationship is so vital.
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deebaby621
replied on November 13th, 2006
Experienced User
The only reason I could understand if a man were to be upset by this, is if the woman is using a vibrator [all the time] in place of sex with her man. If that's the case, then yeah it's wrong. But I have my doubts that there are a lot of women who are like that, unless their man really does not know how to use his tool and she's fed up with that.

A vibrator is not a big deal I can assure you. That's not something people get in a tangle over. Now guys and their porno, could be a different story. Wink
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tex789
replied on November 13th, 2006
New User
I too am "jealous" of a vibrator/dildo. In my case though its my lack of size and stamina that makes me feel insecure.
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GUEST120206
replied on November 13th, 2006
New User
I agree w/ deebaby! But the only time I use mine is when me and dh are very into it. And it actually turns him on even more!!!!!!! Btw tell your friend to place it on his g spot (spot between base of penis and anal area)just before he's ready to do his thing......Omg what a difference that makes...Or so dh said it did!!!!
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Honekaur
replied on November 14th, 2006
Experienced User
Well...
My ex boyfriend would always masturbate to porn (of course, what guy doesn't) and that interfered with our sex life. My boyfriend never wanted to have sex. So of course that mad me mad, so I bought a vibrator. My boyfriend was mad that I used it, but I let him know exactly how I felt about him masturbating to porn! In my current relationship, my bf's masturbating to porn and me using my vibrator doesn't bother either of us because we have a decent sex life. :p
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lucy376
replied on November 14th, 2006
New User
Re: Should I Be Jealous of a Vibrator?
makoto wrote:
should a man be jealous, hurt, insulted, inferior, or whatever over the fact his gf or wife has and uses a vibrator? Should he have the right to wish her to stop or else he is leaving? Lastly, is such a man being foolish and possibly controlling?


I would love to hear your opinions please.


Btw this man in question, is not me. I am just curious to what you all feel about this particular topic.


my bf encouraged me to get a vibrator. Cus he wanted me be able to use it if he was away or wasnt in the mood. And he likes watching me use, it and he uses it on me, he loves it. He's not jealous of it, and knows its not a replacement.

On the other hand, his bestfriend found one in his girlfriends closet, and his friend freaked, and cut it up, and put it in a brown paper bag and took it to the place of her work, and in front of everyone he said heres your dildo. My bf thought it was really dumb. And doesnt see anything wrong with a woman having one.
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deebaby621
replied on November 15th, 2006
Experienced User
Haha i'd be mad as hell if someone did that to mine! Wink
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Melissa_20
replied on November 16th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Re: Should I Be Jealous of a Vibrator?
lucy376 wrote:


on the other hand, his bestfriend found one in his girlfriends closet, and his friend freaked, and cut it up, and put it in a brown paper bag and took it to the place of her work, and in front of everyone he said heres your dildo. My bf thought it was really dumb. And doesnt see anything wrong with a woman having one.
thats just disrespectful and its grounds for break up!
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Makoto
replied on November 20th, 2006
Experienced User
Agreed. Dump the jerk.
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lucy376
replied on November 22nd, 2006
New User
Re: Should I Be Jealous of a Vibrator?
melissa_20 wrote:
lucy376 wrote:


on the other hand, his bestfriend found one in his girlfriends closet, and his friend freaked, and cut it up, and put it in a brown paper bag and took it to the place of her work, and in front of everyone he said heres your dildo. My bf thought it was really dumb. And doesnt see anything wrong with a woman having one.
thats just disrespectful and its grounds for break up!


you dont know caca, its funny when I post things you like to over talk me.
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artcnun182
replied on November 30th, 2006
New User
maia wrote:
i don't think a man should feel any of those things because of a vibrator. Because guess what? Everyone masturbates. That's right, everyone. Sure there is like 2% of the population that doesn't, but the rest do. And what do people do when they masturbate? They do what feels good, and if a vibrator feels good then they do that.

So that would be like me getting jealous of my boyfriend's hand. I don't think it should be insulting at all because people aren't always in the mood for sex. Sometimes people are tired, sick, out of town, whatever... So if your partner is not in the mood for whatever reason and you are, why not go for it?

If it was dinner time and your partner wasn't hungry would you eat anyway? Sure you would, same principle with sex.
You can't compare a person to a sex toy, it's not even on the same level.


]what if she uses a dildo a big one
then ur gf/wife got a sloppy loose vagina and thats sick
i vibro is good if it isnt big acually sorta small
becuz a gurl can loosen a her vagina up with a big one
then ur botfriend leave cuz he doesnt want to have sex with a loose vagina.
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sandy78
replied on December 4th, 2006
Experienced User
I think that a man or a woman for that matter should never feel that way about toys. Toys are there to help make sex more fun for all involved, not to tell someone they can't do the job right or at all.

People who get mad or upset by this need to understand that it's something sexuall and fun and nothign that's ment to insult or hurt them. If they can't understand that then maybe it is time for someone new who is more aware and fun Smile

just my two cents


--------------------
www.Readylube.Com
natural personal lubricant that works!
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Moo
replied on December 4th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
artcnun182 wrote:


what if she uses a dildo a big one
then ur gf/wife got a sloppy loose vagina and thats sick
i vibro is good if it isnt big acually sorta small
becuz a gurl can loosen a her vagina up with a big one
then ur botfriend leave cuz he doesnt want to have sex with a loose vagina.

if she does kegal exercises she could keep it tight but, if someone is so shallow as to leave someone because they don't likie her vagina then she's best rid!
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maia
replied on December 4th, 2006
New User
artcnun182 wrote:

]what if she uses a dildo a big one
then ur gf/wife got a sloppy loose vagina and thats sick
i vibro is good if it isnt big acually sorta small
becuz a gurl can loosen a her vagina up with a big one
then ur botfriend leave cuz he doesnt want to have sex with a loose vagina.


yeah that can happen but women can also get stretched out if they regularly have sex with a guy who is a lot larger than average... It's not just vibrators. But like moo said, kegel exercises take care of it all, so it's not even an issue for someone who takes care of themself properly.

Obviously you don't like loose vaginas but I doubt that anyone is forcing you to f*ck one, so is it even an issue? No, it's not.
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pumpkine0011
replied on December 29th, 2006
Experienced User
Yeah
My hubby gets very jealous when I use mine. So I dont use it. Yeah that sucks, but if he doesnt want me to, I can still use my hand just like he can.
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fiona05
replied on December 30th, 2006
Supporter
artcnun182 wrote:


]what if she uses a dildo a big one
then ur gf/wife got a sloppy loose vagina and thats sick
i vibro is good if it isnt big acually sorta small
becuz a gurl can loosen a her vagina up with a big one
then ur botfriend leave cuz he doesnt want to have sex with a loose vagina.


this is untrue. Vaginas are designed to stretch, and regular sex, rather than loosening a vagina, helps to exercise it and keep the muscles toned.

Ok, unless you like have sex with a brick or something.
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deebaby621
replied on January 1st, 2007
Experienced User
If a guy is truly "jealous" of a sexual toy .. Then he's probably just insecure about his penis. There is no other way to put it.

That's like women being jealous of their boyfriends masturbating.. Why be jealous of a hand?

Dildo in place of sex in a relationship 24/7 = wrong.
Masturbation in place of sex in a relationship 24/7 = wrong.
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