Its so nice to see you're trying to understand your sister, its what she needs more than anything right now. Family and friends who are just there for her. It must be so hard for you to deal with, watching her self destruct. Make sure you confide in friends of your own, you've got to be able to talk about it too

are you sure its only been a year? Or just a year since you've known about it?
In a year, she could have done a fair bit of damage mentally and physically. Hmm, so she's lost alot of weight? And still binges? I'm guessing she's throwing up alot then. Its not so much the long term effects from purging which are most worrying, its that sometimes things go so wrong. You can rupture internal organs, choke, have a heart attack. Long term purging will cause her teeth to rot, acid reflux, throat cancer...
But in a year, there will be minimal damage. Ofcourse, its going to be hard to guage her mental state...She needs alot of help and love and support. Is she going to therapy and doctors? If not, its going to be harder for her to get through this on her own.

You're a good sister

<3 luisa

..

Thanks both of you I think she has only been doing it a year...And she is seeing a therapist but really irregularly so I don't think it's helping much. It's kind of a touchy subject which we don't talk to each other about but we both know I know what she's doing...She's always going to the toilet straight after eating anything and stuff. I don't think she's in denial but in a few days she's moving in to a flat with a few other girls and my parents are worried that she'll start bingeing on all of their food which is what she used to do when she still lived at home with me and my parents and my other sister.

While she was doing her bingeing at home my parents went to such lengths to stop her like padlocking the fridge, locking the kitchen and hiding the key and even redecorating her room so it could accomodate a kitchen of it's own with a fridge and everything so she could buy her own food.

Now that she's moved out they're much happier and get on with her a bit better but they've now made sure that the financial support they're giving her is controlled so that she only gets about £10 a day and she can spend that how she wants ~ they know it'll probably be spent on food which will then be thrown up but there's nothing they can do about it. She does have a job but has only just started and at the moment is not being paid. She's trying to sort that all out so that she has some sort of income...The thing is, this job could be potentially unreliable in terms of stability, meaning that all her efforts and her input to her job could come to nothing and because she's been giving it her all, she'll get depressed and start bingeing even more.

I do give her my support, me and my sisters are all very close but it's not something we talk about directly. I think she's embarrassed by it to be honest. The other day she was at my house and my dad shouted up the stairs to her "you're not throwing up up there are you?" and she got so upset cos everyone heard.

Anyway, i'm sorry that was so long! I have alot to say on the topic

Thanks for your help!


Also, (going slightly off topic :p) missla , melbourne (i think that's where you live right?) is the place I want to live when i'm older! It'd be like a dream come true for me if I could! I love anything to do with australia (i'm seriously obsessed hehe) but melbourne in particular

Hehe hence the name 'neighbours'?? This is the city its filmed in, I even danced with the guy who plays boyd (kyle) once, but I had a boyfriend at the time, so it was fairly no go haha.
Thing is with people with eating disorders, they dont like being seen as out of controll, or like they deserve pity or worry because that implies weakness. I know for me, when my family found out I was so mortified I stayed in bed for a few days and wouldn't speak to anyone, because I felt naked. Like they knew everything about me, like I was an animal in a zoo. I saw every action they took to "help" me as totally embrassing, that more people would know...So you're sister really has to understand, she isn't weak, she isn't stupid, you dont love her any less just cos she has an ed.
So it sounds like her binges were fairly bad, it must be really hard for you to watch.

<3 luisa xx

Hi, there.
It's great thta you want to help your sister, she must really be in need. You can try to talk to her and to spens time with her doing things that have nothing to do with her ed. Share your time together and funny things, try to clear her mind. It may help

yep that's part of the reason I so badly wanna go to melbourne!


Yep, sounds about right to me...I guess it's hard for everyone around my sister (me included) because there's always a ripple effect to these things. We had a talk at school about eds today which I just didn't want to go to cos they were saying all the effects of bulemia and what the habits of a bulemic are and I was just like 'omg, shut up, i'd rather I didn't know the exact details of what my sister is doing to herself' (i didn't actually say that aloud but was thinking it...). But also, some of the things the speaker said to do with habits were things that I know very well my sister does, like always chewing gum (and I mean .A.L.W.A.Y.S) to hide the effects of the stomach acid causing terrible breath.

This woman asked people to put their hands up if they thought that sometimes anorexics/bulemics are doing it all for want of attention and practically everyone in the audience put their hands up (me included). After we'd done that she told us adamently that they don't do it for attention ~ don't just wake up one morning and decide to be anorexic/bulemic. Then I was like yeah, that's true actually. Then after the talk, my friends were all saying that the speaker was wrong and that some anorexics/bulemics do become like they do for attention...So now i'm really confused and wondering if people do just do it for attention..? I'm thinking not but it'd be good to get an answer from someone who's been there or is there...

Also, thanks v00d00cita, i'll definitely give that a go

Welcome! I am sorry that you had to come here under these circumstances! I am so sorry that your sister is putting you and your family through this! I totally wish there was something I could say or do to make this nasty disease or situation go away! Your sister is not alone, their are soo many people out there that are doing this and do not realize what they are doing to themselves or people that care or love them. I hope that her therapist can wake your sister up soon and can give her the professional help that she needs but it is kind of up to her. We are not dr's but if you ever need anyone to talk to or your sister we are here for any of you as I am sure that you love your sister and it is very difficult for you! You are in my thoughts!

Well, when I was going to therapy, I was told that in a certain was I was doing it for attention...That maybe if I lost enough weight I would be perfect enough for my parents to talk to, or for my friends to envy or to get good grades (lol dont ask me how weight equates with good marks, its just what I thought). But, I never wanted people to find out the methods I was going about it...I wanted everyone to think it just came naturally to me, not that I wanted people to feel sorry for me, or angry, or upset that I was starving and throwing up anything I did eat. People have this perception that people with eating disorders are really selfish, 'emo', teenage brats...When usually it could be further from the truth, they mostly just want to please.

Luisa <3

i have to agree, because, in a certain way, it's a claim for attention... For a positive attention. So that people could see how slim I can be and whatsoever. These days are being awful for me, because i'm losing control and i'm eating much and many sweets again... And then, there goes the vicious circle again...

thank you sandy I really hope she's determined enough to help herself...This is a disease which really does affect everyone around my sister which is why i've had to see a school councellor...

I know it's not her fault but she has to see what she's doing to herself.

I guess it can be seen as attention seeking but I think I meant more on the basis of the actual ways of going about trying to lose weight or be perfect or have control of something rather than the after effects (.I.E. People looking at you and thinking you've slimmed alot or whatever). When someone sits at a dinner table with other people but just doesn't eat, for instance, that's the sort of "attention seeking" I was on about.

i agree that it's about attention, as I have said before and as you mentioned, but it's more about care and love, in fact. At least for me... :s I really hope you get to help her and that she manages to be fine..

Thank you, so do i. Thanks for all your help and support guys

You're always welcome, hun, to talk to us whenever you want, ok?
We're always here. *

Thanks so much! You're so nice to me!