Hey, I was doing well at college, 4 a
levels, a gnvq and already completed 1 a
level. However recently I have been
missing quite a bit of college, i’m
getting extremely anxious and find every
day a struggle. I get so scared and
worried over something so simple its
ridicules. The college after time kicked
me off of the 3 other a levels and allowed
me to only do one due to poor attendance.
Now i’m still having the same problems
in getting too anxious and managing time
badly to go into college. I was missing
quite a few of the lessens.
I feel guilty constantly and a complete
failure and I sometimes lie to my dad
because he gets so upset. I don't think
i’m stupid yet feel I can't even control
myself. I have been having ideas that I
sometimes believe, I do tend to fantasise
a lot. I’m a bit screed I have
skitsophrenia, or at least anxiety and
depression. I have tried talking to the
college councillor and it didn't help at
all, talking about my problems doesn't
seem to fix anything. I just feel tired
all the time, I have somewhat socially
neglected what few friends I have. I
feel like every day is a war and even by
the time the day starts I feel I have half
lost.
I’m throwing college down the drain,
well infect I have largely and I just feel
so scared and anxious constantly. I did
have a near death experience, a bad
breakup, don’t get as much sleep ash I
should, I play computer games to try to
stop the feelings of guilt and of failure,
I have not seen a gp but like I have said
the college councillor. I am scared of
death and feel content simply being alive
however I feel I cannot control my fears
and my time management is appalling. My
work load is now extremely small, and I
was not long ago working 10 hours a day 7
days a week. Any advice would be nice.
I almost feel, like many people with
disability are, that having the disability
(schizophrenia possible) that my problems
would justify my behaviour and poor
performance, its harder when you don’t
have an excuse, resign. Never the less
even if this is so its still a cop out on
my part.
