Broken Hearted Forum - 9 Months & Confused.

Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum > 9 Months & Confused.

Q: 9 Months & Confused.

asked by: deebaby621 on November 8th, 2006

Experienced User

I've always told myself I wouldn't come on this site feeling sorry for myself & sobbing about stuff but I have no other way to get this out right now. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months now & up until now everything has been wonderful. He is very loving and caring, and we have a pretty healthy sex life.

Well for the past few days he doesn't seem all that "interested" in me. He doesn't seem as lovey-dovey [as stupid as that sounds] & also like we'll have sex and then he'll just fall asleep without a word to me. He normally always holds me & initiates all the cuddling we do after sex. [hell i'm always tired after sex] but he hasn't done that the past few nights.

Now I know all guys have their "times" if you will, but he's just not acting like himself. He isn't giving me much attention & we're having less & less sex lately. I don't know what to say to him or how to start off.

I overanalyze a lot of things & I may be overthinking this. I don't know to be honest i'm just getting it out there how I feel. Someone give me some advice & if there's any guys who could tell me maybe what he's feeling or if it's anything to even worry about .. Please let me know.

:/

Replies(5)

deebaby621

replied on November 9th, 2006

Experienced User

Last night while I was at his house he did not tell me he loved me, didn't hold my hand [i don't think he even touched me], didn't kiss me or anything. We laid there for a little while and watched tv & then he just up and turns the tv off and goes to sleep - without a word to me. So at this point, i've had enough & [without a word to him] walked out & went home. I don't know what the hell is wrong with him, and I even asked him didn't he think he was acting weird last night & he replied, "i don't think so but if you say so" - so I don't know.

I don't care how much he loves and cares for me.. I need to see it. All women do.

lucy376

replied on November 14th, 2006

New User

deebaby621 wrote:

last night while I was at his house he did not tell me he loved me, didn't hold my hand [i don't think he even touched me], didn't kiss me or anything. We laid there for a little while and watched tv & then he just up and turns the tv off and goes to sleep - without a word to me. So at this point, i've had enough & [without a word to him] walked out & went home. I don't know what the hell is wrong with him, and I even asked him didn't he think he was acting weird last night & he replied, "i don't think so but if you say so" - so I don't know.

I don't care how much he loves and cares for me.. I need to see it. All women do.

here's my advice to you. I been going out with my boyfriend for over 2 years, and I went through the same thing. They go through a wierd stage where they always want to hold onto you, and hold your hand, then he just kinda stopped.He told me the reason why is because he doesnt feel like he has to do all this things to impress me and hes just comfortable around me now, we can go for long periods of time without alking and its not awkward, there just getting used to yah, every once in blue moon my bf, goes nuts and doesnt want me outta his sight and tells me he loves me and hes right clingy, but when you been together for awhile it just wears off. I think it might of been an insecurtiy thing with my boyfriend, and when he relised I wasnt going anywheres he kinda just stepped back and took it easy.. He needs alone time too, as do i. Hope that helps. Just give him breathing room, guys hate when you nag them all the time and ask them whats wrong, cus most of the time nothing is wrong, and they have nothing on the mind.. . As soon as me and my boyfriend have sex he falls right asleep, we even sleep back to back. I see magazines, where u read the body languages of how you sleep. And what it means in the relationship. That is a load of crap. We just like to sleep comfortably. Sometiems I sleep spread out like a starfish. Haha

Melissa_20

replied on November 16th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

I somewhat agree with the person above me but when that sort of thing happens,it happens in time,not just all of a sudden.And in my experience and y opinion just because 'the new wore off' doesn't mean he needs to stop telling you he loves you and act like your arent there.I would be pissed too.You need to sit down and have out with what you feel,no beating around the bush.Ask him what his problem is for the past couple of days and tell him its making you fel uncomfortable/unloved. I hope things work out for you hun!

lucy376

replied on November 18th, 2006

New User

melissa_20 wrote:

i somewhat agree with the person above me but when that sort of thing happens,it happens in time,not just all of a sudden.And in my experience and y opinion just because 'the new wore off' doesn't mean he needs to stop telling you he loves you and act like your arent there.I would be pissed too.You need to sit down and have out with what you feel,no beating around the bush.Ask him what his problem is for the past couple of days and tell him its making you fel uncomfortable/unloved. I hope things work out for you hun!

it all really depends on the person too. It happened all of a sudden to me, like 6 months in our relationship. I agree on having a talk about it too. And getting the feelings out there. And then just drop it for awhile and see how he reacts to the talk.

Mommy35

replied on November 18th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Most of us ladies are good at saying what we want and expressing our feelings. If something is bothering us, we want to talk about it whether anyone wants to hear it or not.
Most guys just don't do it. They may feel as though they are being weak or emotional. Some just don't want to let their guard down.

This guy may have something on his mind that is bothering him or that he is stressed about.

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