I'm 26 and have a 3 year old son. He was not a planned pregnancy and at the time I only kept the pregnancy because everyone went on and on about how great it was. About the time when aidan started to walk the people who convinced me to have him and who told me that they would help me dropped out. I guess people were only interested in helping a young woman with a baby, not anymore when the baby stops looking like a baby.

So, i've been trying to keep going to school for my master's so that we have some sort of real chance in life, both of us, which means I can only work part time, his daycare eats up what little money I have after rent and clothes, and most days I walk around smelling because I have so much crap to do without any help and i'm lucky if I get to take a shower. Pull ups, food, clothes for his ever growing body - all cost money I don't have and the local churches and "pregnancy crises centers" don't want to help me unless I either belong to their church or volunteer with them. But, who has time to volunteer when they're raising a child, going to school, and working all at the same time?



Aidan's dad quit his job and moved back in with his parents so that he wouldn't have child support taken out of his paycheck anymore. Last I heard, he was working at a place that puts all the pieces into model airplane kits completely under the table so my child support from him has all but vanished. His parents bought me a few things when aidan was born but won't take or return my calls now since I refused to move in with them or let them babysit. I just don't trust them and neither did aidan's dad until he discovered a way to get out of paying regular child support.



I started seeing a very nice man. Also a student in the graduate program on campus. We have been dating for the past five months and we both want to continue seeing one another. I was having trouble with the patch, mine weren't staying on right or would slide around on my body during the day and I worried that this would make them less effective. I got a prescription for a low dose pill but before I could start the first cycle I realized I was pregnant. Took a pregnancy test and had it confirmed.

I'm about 7 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend told me he really isn't ready to become a father to any other child but aidan and that he only became comfortable with that decision recently. I guess it would be very hard to accept someone elses child as you own.

I hated pregnancy with aidan. Loathed every single minute of it probably because I knew that I shouldn't be pregnant in the first place or shouldn't have kept it. I was never really maternal but with everyone telling me I could do it, I convinced myself I could. I'm not a super great mother to aidan but i'm good enough. I take care of him, I hug and kiss him, I play with him, he's not neglected or abused, I just find myself lacking in complete attention or blind devotion to him like other women act around their kids. I still want a life outside of the suv, minivan, soccermom crowd where adults talk about politics, world events, and other interesting topics. Diaper rash is not interesting.



And I really did not ever want to go through labor and delivery ever again after aidan was born. Being in massive amounts of pain for 19 hours was horrific and terrifying even with drugs. And that's saying nothing at all about the complete nightmare that is crowning. I mean 'ring of fire' took on a whole new meaning for me and I really wish that it hadn't. And whoever said that you forget about the pain was lying. Completely and totally lying. I am forever scarred by all of that pain. And when they plopped him on my chest covered in goo, blood, and god only knows what else - let's just say that it took me more than a few minutes to actually feel any warm feelings toward him and a few days before I felt like I loved him in any way.



This time I have told no one that I was pregnant yet other than my boyfriend. Last time I told my sister who blabbed her big ugly mouth to everyone and the whole thing just snowballed from there.



I'm a little worried about an abortion though so I came on here looking for answers. I've read through a few things both here and at other sites online and think that I would probably prefer a surgical abortion. From those who have had this procedure, would you recommend a local anesthetic or to go completely under?



Also was the cramping afterward managed well with over the counter stuff like tylenol or will I get a prescription for other pain medications? I don't have health insurance (aidan does-i don't) so will they give me a prescription for things or will they give me the actual pills? A local health clinic gives me samples of pills because the doctor knows that I don't have health insurance and can't afford a prescription so if I ask, can this work the same way?

Also who would you suggest I take with me? My boyfriend has said that he would take me if I wanted him to (he's going to help me pay for it since we both make so very little money right now) but one of my friends has had an abortion before and may handle things a little better? I don't know, did any of you take a guy and how did he handle the trip?



I guess those are my only questions for now. I actually feel a lot more confident about my decision to have an abortion than I did about having aidan so that's probably a good sign.