This will probably be long so i'll try to break it up so it's not too overwhelming to read...


So as most of you know I got sent home from the hospital on thursday night after they inserted the ripening tablet into my cervix. We returned to the hospital friday morning at 7 and I was immediately hooked up to the monitors and we saw that I was having contractions, I started feeling them soon after but they weren't bad.


Around 8:30 my doctor broke my water. One word to describe that - ew. I had a lot of fluid and it felt like a dam burst. It was like I had lost control of my bladder and stayed that way for a while. It tapered off after a while and then continued to trickle out for hours after. It was so gross. She broke it while nick was off getting breakfast or something, I was hoping he wouldn't have to witness anything too gross or embarrassing. He got back just in time to see me waddle to the bathroom with one of those square sheets folded up like a diaper, my gown flapping in the breeze. That turned out to be the first of many gross things he would see.


My nurse was not very nice. She handled me roughly and said things I didn't like, but i'll get into that later.

They started my pitocin right after she broke my water and kept upping the dosage every half hour or so. The contractions picked up and started coming every minute and a half and lasting a full minute. I was timing them on my own since my nurse said I wasn't having any (stupid bitch). It turns out my monitor wasn't picking them up. Then the baby's heartrate monitor wouldn't stay on him either. The contractions were getting quite bad at this point and it had been a while so the nurse checked me and I had made no progress. I was feeling everything in my back and they were coming on strong and fast. I found a little relief by laying on my side and having nick rub my lower back, but my stupid nurse wouldn't let me stay that way because the baby's monitor kept losing him. I cried... A lot. This went on for hours. I wanted pain relief but the nurse kept saying I couldn't have an epidural because I wasn't in labor. Oh really? Was I there on vacation? Apparently it's not considered labor until 4cm, I never made it past 3, and also the monitor wasn't picking up my contractions and when it did they barely registered.


Eventually my doctor came back and they decided to use internal monitors, which I didn't even know existed. I can't even describe how painful those were going in. I still don't really know what they were but the baby's heartrate monitor was now attached to his scalp. See why that might have been painful going in? I was crying and squeezing nick's hand so hard he thought I broke something. I now had blood gushing out as well as a bundle of cords and tubes sticking out of my vagina. Once it was all in though it was quite a relief ang they were finally picking up my contractions and were shocked to see how hard and close they were. See nurse, I told you I was in labor! My doctor also took pity on me and ordered the epidural. Yay!


I had to wait about an hour for the epi because there were other people in front of me. I was really nervous about this but the guy was wicked nice and it didn't hurt at all. When it kicked in I decided I was in love and if I wasn't already married I would've proposed. The epi was magic... Until it stopped working on the left side after 2 hours. My doctor checked me after the epi and i'd made no progress. An hour later, still no progress. She told me she'd give me 1 more hour but if nothing happened we'd have to do a c-section. That's when the epi stopped working. The contractions were so bad at this point and entirely in my back, I thought I was dying. Just as the guy was coming back to fix my epi my doctor decided it was time for a c-section. The baby's head wasn't coming down because he was "sunny side up" and a little too big. They prepped me for the c-section and I started freaking out because it was unexpected and I was really scared.

The c-section itself was bizarre. I was so overwhelmed and it just felt really weird. I was pretty much crying the whole time but really started when they said his head was out and when I heard him start crying I just lost it. I was sobbing. I cried the whole time they were sewing me up as I watched nick hold finn and soothe him as they cleaned him up. He even cut the cord! I was exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open by the time they brought finn over to me. I was trapped on the table and could barely see my baby and that really upset me.

Finn was 8 pounds 5 ounces, 20 1/2 inches, and scored a 9/9 (his hands and feet were blue).

Nick and finn were gone and they finished me up and wheeled me back to my labor room. I was so out of it. Again I had to watch and feel jealous when nick got to give finn his first bottle and rock him and helped with his first bath. I'm really sad that I didn't get to do any of that but i'm really happy that nick got to have that special time with the baby. As soon as I was a little more with it they put him in my arms and we just layed together until they moved us to the maternity ward.

Once in maternity I actually felt ok (thanks painkillers!) and I ended up staying up until about 4am just holding him and staring at him. I am so in love! I actually haven't slept much since he was born because i'm so smitten and just want to be with him.


I don't have a shred of modesty left and I never realized how humiliating things would be. I feel like everyone including the janitor and the cafeteria lady saw my vagina, I had different nurses washing me and checking my pads, one nurse stripped me down in the bathroom so I could shower and another had to dry me off after, I actually *liked* having the catheter in, and the best of the best, I was in terrible pain because I was so bloated and gassy but nothing would come out so I needed a suppository and the nurse needed to hold it up there with her finger for a minute. Yes, the nurse had her whole finger in my butt (i made sure nick was out of the room for that one! Though he knew what was going on...). My nurses in maternity were wonderful and the hospital stay wasn't that bad, a little long but not bad.

All in all, it was all worth it for my baby. Friday was an absolutely horrid day with the most wonderful outcome. I've got my painkillers and i'm actually feeling ok. I've been a little emotional a few times but nothing over the top. I did get mad at nick and told him it wasn't fair that I was in all this pain and he just got the baby handed to him and got to take care of him while I was stuck in bed with ivs and catheters.

I can't get over how beautiful he is and that he was inside me. It is truly amazing!